By Kaleb

On April 14^th, I had my Kentucky Kitchen Table at a host table in Bowling Green. The host’s name was Lauren, and the three people at the dinner besides myself were Madison, Nicole, (and technically, Lauren’s two-year-old daughter, Tenley). The only person there I had ever met before was Madison, so the other three individuals were complete strangers to me. Lauren was from New York City and was a married mother of two who worked as a sociology professor at WKU. Nicole, Madison, and I were all three students at WKU. Nicole is a journalism major, Madison a nursing major, and I a CIT major, and all three of us were born in Kentucky. Our group was not exactly racially diverse, and three of us had been raised in similar places, but overall I think there were diverse things about us, we had all had differing experiences throughout our lives and, for the most part, each had a different take on the issues we planned to discuss.

I drove Nicole to the dinner, so on our way there we were discussing how we thought the dinner was going to go. Of course, given the fact that we were strangers were going to be eating dinner with even more strangers, we expected the worst. All the way to the moment we were about to open the door we both expected a very awkward and tense experience, so you can imagine our surprise when the door shot open to reveal Lauren holding Tenley with a huge grin on her face. She told us to make ourselves at home and that she herself was running behind from multiple things she had to do. We saw that Madison had already arrived and had already settled in, so overall, we felt a lot more at ease and ready to begin the discussion.

The first question we began to answer was the one pertaining do the thing we love most about living where we do, and for most of us that was considered Bowling Green. Personally, I still consider myself to live in Hopkinsville, but regardless, the three of us students had different reasons compared to Lauren. We all liked the towns we lived in because they felt like larger cities compared to our hometown. We felt like we were escaping the small-town life that Kentucky is usually stereotyped to have. Lauren, on the other hand, was from New York City so her experience was more of the exact opposite. She thought that living a slower and more simple life was ideal for having a family, even if the initial experience left her with total culture shock. Talking about Bowling Green lead Lauren to discuss her job as a professor and what that meant to her. Since she specializes in sociology, a study of society, she felt like she had an impact on the world and that her work served a greater purpose. She tried to understand societies in order to determine what it was that either helped or hurt peoples’ ability to come together. The rest of us either had no job or worked minimum wage jobs, so the greater importance sort of didn’t apply to us, but we did agree with Lauren’s point.

The next thing we began to discuss was the meaning of citizenship (beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws). Lauren’s answer to this was that the main role for any citizen was to show respect and compassion for others, something that really tied in with her profession. She also tied this into the fact that people when people have a disagreement, yelling biased opinions does nothing as a solution. People should learn to support their opinions and make decisions based on research and facts, not the influence of others. This point was generally agreed upon by the three of us, as compassion for your fellow citizens does seem like arguably the most integral part of being a citizen. The four of us then talked about the extremist views we had been exposed to in our lives and about the clear inequalities we witness in the world. For us that had lived only in Kentucky, we felt like we experienced a lot of radical or extremist views within our hometowns and even within our families, but as individuals who had tried to live beyond that bubble, we were able to rationally analyze and decide things for ourselves.

After this the conversation took a turn towards systematic oppression and highlighting the large inequalities that we can see within our society. We came to a consensus that for some people, opportunities to excel are harder to come by than for others, whether based on racial, gendered, class, or other grounds. With this in mind, we talked about how the idea of an “American Dream” based around a meritocracy doesn’t exactly seem to work. If some individuals start off with less of an opportunity that others, a system based solely on merit would be a broken system. Of course, it shouldn’t be made so that people who are able to excel on their own already should be punished, but that the starting line should be at the same spot for everybody. We talked about this issue from many different viewpoints and all of us had examples of times when we felt that maybe the system had left us at a disadvantaged spot. Overall, this conversation lasted the longest but served as probably the biggest window into how experiences differ.

When asked what social issue was closest to her heart, Lauren said that many were very prominent in her mind. Being involved in sociology, social issues are a main part of her work so choosing was extremely tough. But, she finally said that the most pressing issue for her currently was regarding the Fairness Ordinance in Bowling Green. The ordinance makes it so that people cannot be discriminated against in the workplace or when buying a home on the basis of gender identity or sexuality. As it stands in Bowling Green today, this ordinance has been shut down by the commissioners and doesn’t look like it will be implemented any time soon. This aggravated Lauren because she found it very inhumane to continuously allow discrimination to occur in modern society, especially in a situation where really nobody loses anything to have it overturned. For Nicole sexual abuse was a very concerning topic. She was very concerned with having people become educated to learn what the people around them were doing. Madison discussed sexism that still exists within not just everyday lives, but specifically in the workforce. She has had issues regarding sexism at her place of work, so she believes that addressing sexism would serve to benefit everyone. For me, I did not really comment on this question because I couldn’t exactly think of a social issue that sat closest to my heart than any other.

The main thing that I was able to tie back to the class was the importance of learning to talk to people in an effective way (or work well together), a key theme of being compassionate with others. Of course, this applies to the individualistic conversations people may have. When we talk to each other, it’s important to be respectful and listen attentively to what people have to say. These ideas are outlined in the “How We Talk Matters” reading by Keith Melville. The only way we can achieve a true conversation and exchange meaningful ideas is through deliberative speaking in which all everyone is on equal ground in importance. Even beyond individual cases, I think this idea sort of applies to how groups interact within society. In order to see true equality and change in the world, all people are going to have to approach issues with a clearer head and properly outline their positions rather than arguing nonsensically.

Overall, the dinner was actually a very enlightening experience. Of course, a dinner isn’t going to change my whole outlook on life, but I most certainly walked away with some new ideas in mind. The most prominent being that I as an individual cannot know everything about an area, despite knowing all the facts. This being because of peoples’ experiences that also help define the issue. As I listened to what Nicole, Madison, and Lauren had to say about the issues of compassion and inequality in our modern society, they fleshed out their opinion with more than facts, but also with experiences unique to them that helps them have a better grasp of the issue. This sort of made me think that the only way a person could ever really understand an issue completely, you’d have to analyze every single experience a person has had relating to that issue, basically an impossible task. Nobody can know everything, and we as individuals have to rely on each other to understand the world we live in. That is what I learned from this dinner.

My Kentucky Kitchen Table took place at a sociology professor’s home in the city of Bowling Green, Kentucky. There were four members at our dinner: the professor, Lauren, Madison, Kaleb, and myself. Lauren’s daughter was there eating with us as well, but she was two years old, so there were technically four people at our table. During our Kentucky Kitchen Table, we ate fruit salad and chicken salad in crescents. It was delicious. I am a picky eater, so I was unsure about whether or not I would like it, but it was really good. After we finished eating, we were hanging out at the table talking, and then Lauren’s daughter wanted to go outside so we moved our conversation to the outside furniture. Then, she wanted Lauren to watch her swing, so we moved to the swing-set and stood around and talked.

Lauren is married and has two children. She is from New York. For graduate school, she moved to Ohio to attend Bowling Green State University. She met her now-husband and started working as a professor at Western Kentucky University in Kentucky. During our Kentucky Kitchen Table discussion, she told us that she pays more for childcare than she does for her mortgage every month. One of the most important issues that she cares about the most is the Fairness Ordinance, which is the ordinance that supporters are trying to be passed by the City Commissioner’s Office in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

Kaleb is a freshman who is from Somerset, Kentucky, which is only about an hour away from campus. He was more shy during my Kentucky Kitchen Table than the rest of us. He wears glasses, wore a t-shirt and shorts, and lives in Minton Hall on campus. He is technically a sophomore and he is majoring in computer information technology. During my Kentucky Kitchen Table discussion, I learned that his father is a high school teacher who once was laid off, and when his father was laid off, his family was on food stamps for a few months. I found that interesting because I did not expect to learn that he and his family had been on food stamps.

Madison is a freshman who is from a town close to Maysville, Kentucky. She lives on a farm. To the Kentucky Kitchen Table, she wore a dress and a pair of boots, which was a cute outfit in my opinion. She is a freshman this semester. She was pre-med, and then she switched to pre-nursing. She had blonde hair. When I first saw her, she looked like a popular sorority girl. However, I was surprised by how she was much more than just a popular sorority girl. She was kind and was happy to help Lauren with her two-year-old daughter, Tenley. She has a country accent and tattoos. One of her tattoos, which I thought was really interesting, was “Just Breathe” written on her wrist. That particular tattoo came from words that her mother told her when she would have an anxiety attack, which happened frequently when she first came to college. During the Kentucky Kitchen Table, I learned that her father is a high school teacher. He used to work with mechanics and then got a pacemaker. When he got a pacemaker, he was laid off and then her family was on food stamps for a short period of time. I was also surprised by learning this because I did not expect to learn that she and her family had been on food stamps.

We spoke about a wide range of topics during our Kentucky Kitchen Table. We spoke about how citizenship and being a good citizen in society is helping and caring about other people around you. It also means thinking and considering what other people are dealing with and going through when making decisions and living our lives. One example that Lauren brought up during our Kentucky Kitchen Table was the Fairness Ordinance, which is an ordinance that protects LGBTQIA+ people from being discriminated against based on their sexuality and gender identity. As she pushed her daughter on the swing outside and we stood around her, she said, “Obviously, I’m not gay, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be sympathetic to people who are gay and may identify as a different gender.” We discussed how citizenship means considering others around you instead of thinking only about yourself. We discussed how in America, we sometimes end up only thinking about ourselves and what we go through. I brought up how with the attempt of passing the American Health Care Act by the Republican party recently, the politicians are wealthy, white, and did not consider the ramifications that that healthcare legislation would have had on the impoverished communities in America who rely on Medicaid.

When we discussed listening to others and considering what others are going through, we discussed the factors that play into poverty, including institutionalized racism and job availability. We also talked about the difference between a personal problem and a public problem. For example, if one couple gets a divorce, people around that couple may think that that is simply a personal issue between that couple. However, if divorce rates have gone up in the community where that couple lives, then it becomes a public issue. Therefore, we talked about how we need to stop only thinking about ourselves and see the bigger picture. This discussion made me think about wicked problems and how there are a lot of different factors that go into solving wicked problems.

We talked about social issues that we are passionate about. One social issue that Kaleb talked about was Medicaid and food stamps. He talked about how he does not like that some people think that people who are enrolled in Medicaid or get food stamps are simply lazy and do not want to work in order to afford their own food and health care. That was when he told us about his father getting laid off and how his family was on food stamps for a certain period of time. I talked about how I was passionate about the issue of sexual harassment and sexual assault because I was sexually harassed by a coworker and I was extremely bothered by that incident. However, when I was harassed by him, I did not realize that it was sexual harassment because it was something that was extremely normalized in our society, which makes me feel sad about our society. Normalizing acts of harassment enables rape and harassment culture to continue, and that is something that I am passionate about ending. Madison talked about how she was in an abusive relationship and when she was in that relationship, she did not realize that it was abusive. She continued that relationship for a long time and then when she broke up with him, he called her over 40 times and left a bunch of voicemails where he threatened to kill himself because of her, which is one of many forms of emotional manipulation that he worked on her. Therefore, because of that situation, she is passionate about stopping abusive relationships and helping victims of abuse.

We also talked about the abortion-genocide pictures that were featured on campus in Centennial Mall recently. In general, the pictures were pictures of aborted babies and the displays compared them to pictures of genocide throughout history, such as genocide in Cambodia and the Holocaust during the 1940s. Lauren told us that those pictures have not changed since she was a student at college during the 80’s. I talked about how those pictures will not change anyone’s mind about the issue of abortion. Madison told us that she was pro-life because she came from a very small town where everyone was pro-life. I told her that I used to be pro-life until I took a step back and thought about the issue from the perspective of a woman who has had to get an abortion. We discussed how it is important for us to have a healthy debate about the issue of abortion, not compare it to genocide and make pro-choice supporters angry and not want to debate the issue. That topic that we were talking about made me think about the “Importance of Argument” reading that was in Week 1 of class. It is important for us to deliberate on topics instead of yelling at each other and not wanting to compromise on the issue. This could connect well with the “How We Talk Matters” reading, too. Deliberating is important in order to get things done in society.

Overall, I learned how although we all came from different backgrounds and had different views on things, we all still had similarities between us. I also learned how there are so many wicked problems in our world, including Medicaid, poverty, the minimum wage, and abortion. I could connect what I learned at the Kentucky Kitchen Table with the “Wicked Problems” reading because there is no right or wrong way to solve these problems. There are only better or worse ways to solve the problems. I appreciated the Kentucky Kitchen Table dinner because it helped me get different perspectives on the world around me.

By Grace

On Tuesday, March 28, 2017 I completed my Kentucky Kitchen Table. At first, I was not sure what to expect from the dinner. I wondered what kind of diversity I would find at our table. However, I found that there was a diversity of thought that was compelling, and I appreciated those thoughts which were in contrast to my own that gave me a new perspective. I ended up leaving with a greater sense of the purpose for the role I may play in our community. Among some of the topics we’d touch on, from various forms of discrimination and racism to leaving home for the first time, I felt empathy and sympathy—both for the characters described in stories of hardship and for the people sitting around the table with me. More than that, I felt optimistic for the future of our community because of the honest candor with which the others sitting around the table would express sentiments similar and dissimilar to mine. If we can continue to connect with people in the community in this way, there is certainly a pathway for progress.

The dinner was hosted by Leah and Chris who prepared tacos and other Mexican-style dishes for dinner. The WKU students at the table were myself, Victoria, and Gage. Victoria is a Spanish and Asian Religions and Cultures double major. She is also a member of the Chinese Flagship Program and has an interest in learning more about diverse cultures and ideologies. Gage is a student at WKU studying Economics. Leah works for the Center for Citizenship and Social Justice (CCSJ) and is very passionate about social issues. Chris is contractor who works in Nashville. Also, attending the dinner were McKenna, who is a senior at Bowling Green High Schoo, her boyfriend Cole, and Riley and Katie who are in middle school.

We began by talking about what citizenship meant to us. McKenna views citizenship as having rights, which are earned by being an active member of the community. To her, being a citizen is to have a house and to be able to go to school and get an education. As we discussed our views on citizenship, I envisioned the “bridge” metaphor that we often discuss in class. McKenna seemed to be focused on the right side of the bridge, which is where we want to be as a society. In other words, McKenna was saying that ideally we want to be able to live well together and have equal rights to the resources that are essential to our survival—like shelter and education. However, that is not the reality. Leah, through her work at the CCSJ, has had the experience to know that there is still much inequality in our society, and there are many people who are given less resources. Those people must work harder to have the life many of us are freely born into. She’s realistic about the hardships that many in our community face; she said, “It’s because I know what exists.” Leah described a situation where a fireman in Bowling Green was asked to resign from his post for perceived gayness. She also went on to note an article which cites dozens of criminal acts against people of different sexualities. She said, “there’s an obvious problem if a citizen employee can’t go to work without being harassed and picked on.”

As far as how we as citizens and as a community must get across the metaphorical bridge to become a more equal society, Leah had many ideas. She said, “Citizenship to me is being active in the community in some way, shape or form. There are numerous avenues where you are able to do that…reaching out to legislators, going to marches and protests.” She noted, too, how lately she’s seen even more citizens being active in the community during this past election season. Optimistically, she said, “I’ve been amazed at people working at things if they don’t like it…participating, going to city commission meetings, writing letters to the editor.”

I had a different point of view. I had difficulty seeing how certain protests and marches would really enact change because to some extent I felt as though protests were only dividing our country further. I think about what the “other side” (the people of the opposing viewpoint) will do in response to protests, and I wonder if these protests are effective in getting them to have a new perspective. Just as Keith Melville describes in “How We Talk Matters,” people often dislike conflict and also are so self-ensured about their opinions that they are unwilling to listen to others’ experiences and even to correct, factual arguments. Unlike Leah, I did not see protesting in particular as a particularly productive way to make progress in society because I worried that protests discouraged conversations between one side and the other on political issues. However, through my conversation with Leah, I realized that while protests themselves may not seem like a potential platform for an effective deliberation, they are a way of starting those conversations and engaging the community in a healthy discussion. The protest is simply a  spark for many deliberations to come. It forces people who witness the protest to look at the issues and to talk about them.

During the dinner, we also discussed different social issues, specifically those that were the most meaningful to each of us. Chris said that when it comes to social issues, people tend to think of “hunger, African children, third-world countries, but there are areas of our countries that do have hunger.” Chris feels the social issues here more personally because of the experiences he has in his life.  This discussion reminded me of a point that Ivan Illich made in “To Hell with Good Intentions” where he discouraged missionary work abroad. Similarly, Illich says, “If you have any sense of responsibility at all, stay with your riots here at home.” Here, Illich alludes to the issues that come up when people try to do good abroad, and fail to do so often without even realizing it. It makes more sense to focus on the problems we are experiencing within our own communities, where we can communicate well with the people we are trying to help and we are more likely to understand the issues when we have experienced them or seen them happening in our own communities.

While for the most part, Katie and Riley were silent on certain topics, Katie spoke up when we began talking about the obligation we have to people in our community to give them more of a say over their lives, like we often discuss in class. The overall consensus was that we do have an obligation to the people in the community who are less privileged and who have been born into their disabling circumstances. Katie gave the example of homelessness, a situation where, she said, “It’s not their fault if they’re homeless. We have more opportunity—it’s the right thing to do.” Chris supported Katie’s view. In his experience, working in construction in Nashville, he sees many Hispanic workers struggle to get access to health care because they’re illegal immigrants and are afraid to even deal with the government at all. Like Katie, Chris also said, “If you’ve been born into circumstances, I’m inclined to have a lot of empathy for [you].” Throughout this discussion, there was a theme of empathy and a call to service. However, we did not discuss how Katie and Chris might act on such calls to service. From this conversation, I learned not only that I’m not alone in my feelings of empathy for the underprivileged but also that I’m not alone in my inability to take that next step to help those in need. I suppose all of us feel these calls to service at one point or another and yet are unsure how to act. I believe this is due to the great complexity of these “wicked problems,” which are so large in scope and difficult to tackle that even those with the best of intentions may not have the time to dedicate to finding solutions to those problems.

While I tend to be more cynical about the issues we are facing today in our communities and in our country, this dinner made me feel more optimistic because even by being there I felt like I was engaging with the community in a new way. To sit down and discuss social issues with complete strangers and to come out of it having learned many valuable ideas, I think it will not be too difficult to contribute to my community in the future. I often unconsciously brush off responsibility for these issues because they honestly seem too large for me to tackle. However, throughout the course of this semester by discussing these issues in class and during my Kentucky Kitchen Table, I realize that not only must I own my obligation to my community, but also that I am able to do something even if it is simply by starting the conversation with others in the community. As Melville says in “How We Talk Matters,” these conversations “in town halls, in classrooms, among neighbors, or exchanges that take place over dinner tables” are where democracy begins.

By Margee

When I first began my Honors 251: Citizen and Self class, I understood that we were required to participate in a Kentucky Kitchen Table. A Kentucky Kitchen Table (KKT) is an opportunity for members of the local community to share a meal in a house with people they are unfamiliar with and discuss their lives and opinions. All of this was to be done in a very comfortable setting. I soon became very excited because there is nothing I love more than eating food and meeting new friends.

As the semester went on, I was assigned to a KKT that would be hosted at Dr. Alison Youngblood’s house, which was a comfortable walking distance from Western Kentucky University’s campus. Allison is a professor at Western Kentucky University (WKU) and she teaches Linguistics and Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) for the Department of English. It was very nice of her to offer her home to us! The other adult who was kind enough to participate in the KKT was Dr. Leila Watkins, a professor at WKU who teaches Honors 251, as well as courses in English. All of these things I learned from emailing back and forth with them to try to set a date to meet for our KKT.

We decided to meet to share a meal on Wednesday, April 5^th at 6pm at Alison’s house. When I first arrived, I entered the house and met Alison’s very sweet dog, Hazel. Hazel was quick to say hello and welcome me! I then met Alissa, another student at WKU who was assigned to this KKT as well. Alissa brought along 3 other friends who were very personable and added great conversation to our group. I had asked Alison and Leila if I needed to bring along any food or items, but both refused saying that they would arrange everything. All 7 of us sat down at Alison’s table together to share a meal consisting of green beans, fettuccine alfredo, garlic bread, clementines, and pizza. Alison also offered us La Croix- a carbonated spritz water that was flavored with a bit of coconut. It was a delicious meal, but the company was even better!

Our conversation first began with introductions and learning more about each other. While sharing a meal together, I learned that Alissa is a freshman from Louisville, Ky- like me- and graduated from Assumption High School. She is also a twin and lives with her twin sister in PFT (her twin sister is older) although she is also in the Honors College. She is pursuing a degree in chemistry with a minor in criminology. Alissa shared that she is an aromantic asexual meaning that she doesn’t experience romantic or sexual attraction. Alissa’s friend Emily is a fan of K-Pop and that is how they met. Emily is also very petite and talked about her little sister who is taller than her now. Alissa’s friend AJ was a bit quieter and was at the other end of the table, but always added witty comments and anecdotes to the conversation. I was also introduced to Dimitri who has really awesome blue hair! Dimitri and Alissa met because they are both openly in the LGBT+ community. Dimitri is gay and nonbinary and prefers the pronouns they/them in discussion.

While getting to know my new friends, I found that I was really enjoying the conversation. It was easy to find common points of interest, such as Alissa and I both growing up in Louisville and Leila and I have both eaten at a Mexican restaurant in White House, Tennessee. Leila’s husband works in Nashville and, of course, she works in Bowling Green so they found a happy medium by both commuting to their respective cities. Although I expected that I might differ to some of the party with my more conservative views, I began to feel accepted and understood by them when I shared what I thought. It was such a relief to be heard and known by them.

Trying to stir the conversation back to the required question, I asked the collective table members, ‘What does citizenship mean to you?’ Leila was quick to respond that to her citizenship means being a part of a conversation in which you are able to ask people about what matters to them. Also, the group added that being a citizen means that you have to be a part of the group to identify yourself as with the group.

This ties into the lessons we have been learning in Honors 251, such as learning about the importance of deliberations and discussing matters in a mature and collected way. I felt very comfortable sharing my opinions and listening to others’ in this setting. Also, I was able to discuss my experiences with short-term mission work in Kenya over the past summer. Alison was very interested because she discussed with us how she had lived in Japan for an extended amount of time teaching. I could just see from her discussion with us that she was so passionate about exploring different cultures and getting out of our comfort zone. Her passion encouraged me to pursue my interests in studying abroad.

We discussed the importance of being still and enjoying meals together with others – like how it was in Kenya for me. In Kenya, there was no clock around to check what time of day it was. There were no time restraints. The whole day was up to the decision of us and I loved that. Alison mentioned that she loved that about Japan, as well.

The grand gesture was when Alison brought out Mochi ice cream balls for all of us to try. It was such a treat because I had never tried one before. Mochi is originally from Japan and is a dessert made from ice cream with a confection sugar outside. Mine was chocolate flavored I believe and, although it had a strange texture, I really enjoyed it and was proud of myself for trying it.

Steadily the light in the room began to fade as the window grew darker and I realized that two hours had passed and I was still enjoying my company. While I was leaving, I began reflecting on why I enjoyed that so much and I think it was because sitting at a table with friends and family is one of my favorite activities. My family is a big advocate for family dinner at the table with no cell phones out and no TV playing in the background. Just our family, our food, and our conversation to keep us entertained. Enjoying a meal with my new friends felt like going home because I knew that just spending this time together learning from each other allowed me to truly breathe and reflect on my day. Those 2+ hours without checking emails or doing homework gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate what matters to me. And the next day when I saw Emily in line for Burrito Bowl on-campus for lunch, I was able to say hi with confidence because she’s my new friend.

From left to right: (Hazel (the dog), Alison, Emily, Margee (me), Leila, Alissa’s empty seat (she took the photo), Dimitri, and AJ