By Abigail

For my Kentucky Kitchen Table Project, I had the opportunity to travel to a home in Bowling Green, Kentucky that I had never been to before. The host was a very friendly man, named Nate, who was very open to sharing personal stories and what it means to live in society today. Nate is a retired school teacher and is currently preaching at a local Christian church in Bowling Green, Kentucky. His wife Nancy has passed away but he is very close with his son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren, whom he visits quite regularly in Florida. He is very outgoing and not afraid at all to tell embarrassing stories about himself or tell of many experiences he has faced. Also seated at the dinner table were two of my classmates from Citizen and Self. Zachary, a sophomore at Western Kentucky University, is from Louisville, Kentucky and is majoring in English. He told of his experiences as a swimmer in Louisville, Kentucky and his new involvement with Greek life on campus. Cate is a freshman at Western Kentucky University who is also majoring in English. She told of her experiences as a volleyball player in high school and of her job working at a local barbeque restaurant in her hometown: Glasgow, Kentucky. However, she is not involved with a Greek organization on campus.

When we first arrived at Nate’s house, we sat down at his dinner table and began getting to know one another better. We each described our adjustments to living on campus, and shared our backgrounds with one another. Nate talked about his experiences as a college student at Western Kentucky University and also at University of Kentucky and told us many stories about him and his wife. He also talked about how close he is with his neighbors and how they have a Fourth of July party every year full of fun and fireworks. Zach also discussed his closeness with his neighbors and how his parents host a neighborhood Bible study. I talked about how my neighborhood road is named after my last name because everyone who used to live there was related.

We then went and filled our plates with the delicious food that each person had contributed to the table. Nate cooked a full course meal including chicken, spaghetti, salad, rolls, green beans, and corn. Zachary, Cate, and I were responsible for bringing the deserts which consisted of chocolate chip cookies, rice crispy treats, and chocolate cupcakes. Nate said that he loves to cook and used to cook all the time when his wife Nancy was living, but it is so difficult now to cook for only one. Since Bowling Green, Kentucky is home to a wide variety of restaurants, Nate states that he likes to eat out a lot. We then directed the conversation to community and citizenship, and we began asking many questions that helped guide the discussion. We first asked him what citizenship meant to him. He said that citizenship means protecting, voting, paying taxes, and following laws. He also mentioned how he recognized that although there is a separation between church and state, he wishes that everyone would act morally by caring for one another. He believes that people have to be taught to care. Coming from a teacher’s standpoint, he used to see kids all the time who had feelings but did not see the responsibility to act on those feelings and care for others. His idea of citizenship and the act of caring for one another showed that his religious or spiritual identity, Christianity, related to how he thinks we should treat other people. He thinks that no matter what religious affiliation you are associated with, whether it be Buddhism, Christianity, or Islam, a person is expected to care. Nate shared his story of how he first became a preacher at the church he attends. He said he originally began on the minister supply list, a list including fill-in preachers when the main preacher is sick or in the hospital. However, his main preacher was fired and Nate was called to take his place. Willingly, he decided to do so and has been there ever since. He has been preaching for ten years. As we were on the subject of religion and its role in democracy, we went around the dinner table and shared our denominations. We are all Christians but I am a member of a Church of Christ, Cate attends a Baptist church, Zachary is non-denominational, and Nate preaches at a Christian church: Disciples of Christ.

Another topic that we discussed was the social issue that Nate holds closest to his heart. He said that working with the LGBTQ community has meant more to him than anything. His experience as a school teacher showed him that many who sexually identify as this were picked on and ridiculed. He said that his room was a safe space for them to go to and that they knew that. He said that many of them would come in his room during lunchtime and eat with him, that way they would not be bullied.

Lastly, we talked of the presidential election and the uproar it has caused on social media and in society. I told Nate about the discussion we had in our Citizen and Self class about the election and although some agreed with the decision made, and others opposed it, the students were still very respectful of others feelings. Nate told us that the reason why everyone was able to accept the differences in the room was because we had built relationships with one another and arguing over the election would hinder or hurt those relationships. He talked about the importance of connections and finding common ground. His advice for people running for office in our country is to learn to love your opposition. Although disagreements will occur, it is essential to love and respect the person that you are disagreeing with. Whenever we refuse to love and respect those we are disagreeing with, we have lost our humanity.

By doing this project, I learned a lot about other people’s views of our world today and how important it is to discuss with others the most prominent affairs affecting our country. Essentially, living well together involves understanding where others are coming from and being open-minded to other perspectives. It is not only about sharing your beliefs but it is about really listening and understanding others also. While sitting at the dinner table, it was very interesting to hear Nate’s take on the world. Nate is a man who lives in the same city as me, but I would have never had the opportunity to meet with him if it was not for connections and this project. Although I was very nervous when coming into the situation, I am glad that I went as I now see it as a great activity that really ties into the whole basis of the Citizen and Self class: understanding how we live and work well with others. I would definitely recommend this project to other students because although every individual at the kitchen table came from diverse backgrounds, we each brought something new to the table and was able to talk through our differences.

By Zachary

Our dinner consisted of myself, Abigail, and Cate at Nate’s house.  I arrived first and Nate began telling me about the different jobs he’d had throughout his life before he settled on teaching.  The transition he made that I thought was most interesting was how he went from working in a restaurant to being a food salesman.  He just changed who he was selling to food to.  Abigail and Cate arrived shortly after and we sat down and began chatting before we began to eat.  We all went around and briefly shared our major and where we are from.  I don’t recall Abigail and Cate’s majors but I know they were both in the sciences.  Abigail is a freshman who went to GSP before her senior year of high school and is from Kentucky.  Right now she is on a club cheer team in Bowling Green.  Cate is also from Kentucky and played volleyball in high school.  Next Nate began sharing with us.  He told us about his son and grandchildren and pointed out photos of them on his fridge.  He then proceeded to tell us about how he met his wife.  The story was very funny.  He was almost hit by someone driving a car and proceeded to flip them off.  The driver stopped and rolled down the window and he realized that he knew her.  From then on they hit it off pretty well and eventually he followed her to another school where they realized they had feeling for each other and began dating before eventually getting married.

Nate shared a lot of stories of us.  One that was particularly interesting was why he does not swim in the ocean anymore.  On him and his wife’s anniversary one year they were able to go snorkeling one day.  They began and he told us it was beautiful because of the amount of fish and how blue the water was.  But he was not able to stay in the water long.  Soon all the fish began swimming to him and nibbling on his body.  He told us how he immediately got swam up from there, got back in the boat, and did not got back in the ocean for the rest of their trip.  We began talking about this story after we talked about how Cate lived near a lake which prompted Nate telling us about why he can’t swim in the lake.  Another interesting story he told us was about how he helped teach a student in Germany about finding the volume of a cucumber by unconventional means.  He gave him a few ways to do it but the most interesting was dropping it into a body if water and then using the resulting displacement to find the volume of the cucumber.  He then took this way of learning and had his own high school class do it in class to make the whole experience more interesting and fulfilling for his students.

Around this point we began eating the dinner that Nate made for us.  It consisted of fried Italian style chicken, spaghetti with red sauce, corn, green beans, some rolls, and salad.  The food was delicious and was a great supplement to the conversation.  The conversation slowed a little bit as we began eating.  He told us that he has always enjoyed cooking and before his wife passed away.  He told us about some other meals he had prepared when he had friends over to play bridge.  He took particular pride in the Bourbon balls he had made for them.

As we finished our meal we began to have a more pointed conversation as Abigail began asking some questions from our guide.  This led to our most interesting conversation of the night.  Nate began telling us about his worldview, where it came from, how it informed the way he treated others, and how it informed his outlook on America.  He told us how he truly believes the most important thing that exists in how we interact is having respect and kindness for everyone, especially those we disagree with.  He said this worldview came partially from his faith but was informed largely from his time as a teacher.  He told us about seeing how LGBTQ kids were treated in his school and how he reached out to them to help them feel safe and wanted.  He opened up his room for lunch and they often came and ate in his room.  Because of this he is supports LGBTQ individuals but also understands how important it is to treat everyone with kindness.  The conversation moved towards deliberation and he told us how he went about talking to those he disagrees with on issues.  He emphasized how important having a base position of common ground was to having a civil conversation.  When a conversation began to become more hostile than he preferred he would bring them back to why they were friends in the first place.  This way of discussion leads to conversations that are productive and insightful instead of conversations that are just two people yelling their opinions at each other.

Without knowing it Nate had begun sharing his view on what I feel is the most important aspect of our class: how to have civil and productive conversations with those that stand opposite of us on issues.  While I feel we have learned a lot about deliberation during class, talking about outside of the class setting gave me an understanding of how important it is that is hard to gain in an academic setting.  Treating people that we think our wrong with the same respect we would want for our self only has positive outcomes.  The informal way he spoke of this was a perfect supplement to the formal way of learning we have in class.  Using deliberation while talking about abstract things in class is helpful to use, but talking about it in relation to “that guy on Facebook” gave it a realism that is hard to gain in a classroom setting.  As the conversation closed I was very glad to have had the chance to meet Nate and hear his stories and opinions.  He was able to put to words a lot of things I had felt about the election without being positive or negative toward either candidate.  The entire experience was a very positive one that I hope many students will get to experience in the future.