By Margee

When I first began my Honors 251: Citizen and Self class, I understood that we were required to participate in a Kentucky Kitchen Table. A Kentucky Kitchen Table (KKT) is an opportunity for members of the local community to share a meal in a house with people they are unfamiliar with and discuss their lives and opinions. All of this was to be done in a very comfortable setting. I soon became very excited because there is nothing I love more than eating food and meeting new friends.

As the semester went on, I was assigned to a KKT that would be hosted at Dr. Alison Youngblood’s house, which was a comfortable walking distance from Western Kentucky University’s campus. Allison is a professor at Western Kentucky University (WKU) and she teaches Linguistics and Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL) for the Department of English. It was very nice of her to offer her home to us! The other adult who was kind enough to participate in the KKT was Dr. Leila Watkins, a professor at WKU who teaches Honors 251, as well as courses in English. All of these things I learned from emailing back and forth with them to try to set a date to meet for our KKT.

We decided to meet to share a meal on Wednesday, April 5^th at 6pm at Alison’s house. When I first arrived, I entered the house and met Alison’s very sweet dog, Hazel. Hazel was quick to say hello and welcome me! I then met Alissa, another student at WKU who was assigned to this KKT as well. Alissa brought along 3 other friends who were very personable and added great conversation to our group. I had asked Alison and Leila if I needed to bring along any food or items, but both refused saying that they would arrange everything. All 7 of us sat down at Alison’s table together to share a meal consisting of green beans, fettuccine alfredo, garlic bread, clementines, and pizza. Alison also offered us La Croix- a carbonated spritz water that was flavored with a bit of coconut. It was a delicious meal, but the company was even better!

Our conversation first began with introductions and learning more about each other. While sharing a meal together, I learned that Alissa is a freshman from Louisville, Ky- like me- and graduated from Assumption High School. She is also a twin and lives with her twin sister in PFT (her twin sister is older) although she is also in the Honors College. She is pursuing a degree in chemistry with a minor in criminology. Alissa shared that she is an aromantic asexual meaning that she doesn’t experience romantic or sexual attraction. Alissa’s friend Emily is a fan of K-Pop and that is how they met. Emily is also very petite and talked about her little sister who is taller than her now. Alissa’s friend AJ was a bit quieter and was at the other end of the table, but always added witty comments and anecdotes to the conversation. I was also introduced to Dimitri who has really awesome blue hair! Dimitri and Alissa met because they are both openly in the LGBT+ community. Dimitri is gay and nonbinary and prefers the pronouns they/them in discussion.

While getting to know my new friends, I found that I was really enjoying the conversation. It was easy to find common points of interest, such as Alissa and I both growing up in Louisville and Leila and I have both eaten at a Mexican restaurant in White House, Tennessee. Leila’s husband works in Nashville and, of course, she works in Bowling Green so they found a happy medium by both commuting to their respective cities. Although I expected that I might differ to some of the party with my more conservative views, I began to feel accepted and understood by them when I shared what I thought. It was such a relief to be heard and known by them.

Trying to stir the conversation back to the required question, I asked the collective table members, ‘What does citizenship mean to you?’ Leila was quick to respond that to her citizenship means being a part of a conversation in which you are able to ask people about what matters to them. Also, the group added that being a citizen means that you have to be a part of the group to identify yourself as with the group.

This ties into the lessons we have been learning in Honors 251, such as learning about the importance of deliberations and discussing matters in a mature and collected way. I felt very comfortable sharing my opinions and listening to others’ in this setting. Also, I was able to discuss my experiences with short-term mission work in Kenya over the past summer. Alison was very interested because she discussed with us how she had lived in Japan for an extended amount of time teaching. I could just see from her discussion with us that she was so passionate about exploring different cultures and getting out of our comfort zone. Her passion encouraged me to pursue my interests in studying abroad.

We discussed the importance of being still and enjoying meals together with others – like how it was in Kenya for me. In Kenya, there was no clock around to check what time of day it was. There were no time restraints. The whole day was up to the decision of us and I loved that. Alison mentioned that she loved that about Japan, as well.

The grand gesture was when Alison brought out Mochi ice cream balls for all of us to try. It was such a treat because I had never tried one before. Mochi is originally from Japan and is a dessert made from ice cream with a confection sugar outside. Mine was chocolate flavored I believe and, although it had a strange texture, I really enjoyed it and was proud of myself for trying it.

Steadily the light in the room began to fade as the window grew darker and I realized that two hours had passed and I was still enjoying my company. While I was leaving, I began reflecting on why I enjoyed that so much and I think it was because sitting at a table with friends and family is one of my favorite activities. My family is a big advocate for family dinner at the table with no cell phones out and no TV playing in the background. Just our family, our food, and our conversation to keep us entertained. Enjoying a meal with my new friends felt like going home because I knew that just spending this time together learning from each other allowed me to truly breathe and reflect on my day. Those 2+ hours without checking emails or doing homework gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate what matters to me. And the next day when I saw Emily in line for Burrito Bowl on-campus for lunch, I was able to say hi with confidence because she’s my new friend.

From left to right: (Hazel (the dog), Alison, Emily, Margee (me), Leila, Alissa’s empty seat (she took the photo), Dimitri, and AJ

By Alissa

For my Kentucky Kitchen Table assignment, Dr. Youngblood and Dr. Watkins kindly offered their kitchen table in Bowling Green to Margee and I. Going around the table, those in attendance were Dr. Youngblood, Dr. Watkins, Emily, Margee, Dimitri, AJ, and I. All of us have a connection to WKU, either attending the university as a freshman student or as faculty. Dimitri, Margee, and I found out that we are all originally from Louisville, Kentucky. AJ is from Hopkinsville, Kentucky and Emily is from Glasgow, Kentucky. Margee is a girl with a rather bubbly personality and is a psychological science major. She is in the Kappa Delta sorority on campus, in fact she holds an office position in her sorority, and is very passionate about working in the community for their service projects. Dimitri is a gay, nonbinary person who prefers the pronouns they/them. They are very passionate about social issues, especially with regards to the LGBT+ community, and about mental health issues. They are also a psychological science major and found out that they share a class with Margee. AJ is a rather quiet person who enjoyed entertaining Dr. Youngblood’s dog, Hazel. He is a psychology major here at WKU. Emily is an African-American girl who loves Korean pop music and is an English major. Dr. Youngblood is a professor in the English department and is also the moderator of the KPCC- the Korean pop culture club here on campus. Dr. Watkins teaches another section of Honors 251 in the Honors College. Last but not least, I am a chemistry major with a criminology minor. I have a twin sister who I share a dorm room with, and I am also an aromantic asexual, meaning I don’t experience either romantic or sexual attraction.

During the dinner we talked about a variety of things, including what citizenship meant to all of us. Most of us responded by discussing how feeling like a part of a group is necessary to citizenship and how being willing to be a citizen and act is also necessary. Other things that we talked about centered around traveling and comparing customs from other countries to the ones we have here in the United States. We also discussed our high school experiences, since all of us graduated about a year ago. Dimitri and I both attended private, single-gendered high schools while Margee attended a public high school in the same city. We talked about the positives and negatives of attending single-gender high schools versus attending public high schools, and how we thought our respective high schools prepared us for college. Dimitri expressed how they wished they could have attended one of the all female schools instead of an all male high school because everything turned into a masculinity contest. I brought up how it seemed that the girls who attended an all female school would speak up more in class, especially if there were more males enrolled in the class. Margee and Dr. Watkins both agreed with my observation, saying that they had noticed that as well.

I learned that while it was slightly awkward to discuss things like citizenship with people I don’t know all that well, doing it over dinner made it easier. I also learned that while people can be very diverse, you can find similarities and connect with just about anyone if you are willing. All of us arrived at the dinner not knowing much about one another, but we managed to connect through our discovery of shared hometowns, desire to travel/past travelling experiences, and music tastes to name a few.

To me this assignment really connected to the reading, “Giving Employers What They Don’t Really Want” not only because a large part of our conversation discussed education, but because one of the things that the article discussed was how employers want to hire people with good communication skills. We all had to talk to each other, face-to-face, and effectively communicate the point that we were trying to make to people who weren’t necessarily the same as us. That, in turn, fits with the first central question to the class: How can we live well together? A major factor affecting how we live together is whether we can communicate effectively with people who are similar to us as well as with people who are different.

 

By Victoria

The Kentucky Kitchen Table that I attended was in Bowling Green, Kentucky, right outside from Western Kentucky University’s campus. Grace, Gage, and I (all students in the Honors 251 Citizen and Self class) were invited to attend dinner at Leah’s house; Leah is the director for the center of citizenship and social justice. Gage and I happened to pull up to the driveway right behind each other; he is in an earlier citizen and self class than I am. Grace, on the other hand, is many a times my partner when it comes to discussions in our 251 class. When the three of us arrived, we were introduced to her husband who works in construction, her three daughters; Makenna who is a senior in high school, Katie who is a freshman in high school, and Riley who is also a freshman in high school, and Cole who is Makenna’s boyfriend, also currently a senior in high school. All together, there were nine people at this Kentucky Kitchen Table.
Even though the three of us had not previously met this family, it was not too awkward upon entering their home. I felt very welcomed, not to mention that the tacos we had for dinner were very good. The conversation formed on its own, with questions being asked about where we were all from and some of our interests. Leah grew up in Bowling Green, whereas her husband grew up in the north, later moving to Bowling Green. Makenna, the oldest daughter there, is planning on attending Western in the fall, with her boyfriend planning on working on a farm. Grace is originally from Evansville, Indiana, and Gage is originally from Kentucky, with myself representing East Tennessee

After our miniature introductions, the three of us asked the required question for this project: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” Leah’s husband responded first, saying that for him, citizenship meant being more involved in one’s community, such as volunteering. During the first part of our discussion, it was a little hard to get the conversation moving, which is expected since all of us did not know each other, though I think this really added to our experience. The next response was from Leah, which was probably one of the best of the night. She mentioned the right of protesting, specifically concerning the protests of the recent election. She said, “Engaging in citizenship means to try and make or bring about changes in your community, for example, through marches or protests. She proceeded to say that this is the most active that she has seen citizens become in cities, particularly with the younger generations for the past few decades or maybe even ever.” Some of the girls in the family agreed on saying that there are some rights that you have earned as a citizen, such as having a house, having a school, and having a recycling bin.

The next question that we asked was “Do you think we have any other obligations to people in our community?” Katie, who is one of the freshmen daughters here in Bowling Green, mentioned homelessness. She said “It is not the people who are homeless’ fault that they do not have a place to live, and because of that we should help them because it is the right thing to do.” As a group, we all agreed that we, as citizens of the United States, do have a responsibility to help others in our community.

After the question concerning helping others in our community, we asked the family what social issue is closest to their hearts. The topic of hunger was brought up, and it was mentioned that while the problem of world hunger needed to be addressed specifically in third-world countries, we need to also focus on the situation here at home in the United States, and even on a more local level, like the community of Bowling Green. Leah said that this is especially seen in public schools with free and reduced lunch programs. Children who meet the requirements to receive such services are sometimes sent home with food for the night and for the duration of the weekends. However, this food is often times hardly adequate enough to last when it is to be split between siblings.

The next question concerned what we did and did not like about Bowling Green, Kentucky. One of the things that I said was how much it felt more like a community to me compared to some of the other universities that I visited. One of the stories that I told regarding why I came to Western aside from the Chinese Flagship program was on account of this welcoming feeling, specifically seen when I met with my advisor. He really personalized the time my family and I spent with him, going over possible classes for my schedule and the different requirements needed for a Spanish major, and he was genuinely interested in the questions we asked and what we had to say, making me and my family feel that my experience at Western would be more individualized and less like a statistic. Leah also commented that she liked how the Bowling Green community was also a refugee resettlement community, and how that added to the diversity on Western’s campus and throughout the city. All in all, there were no negative comments about this community.

Overall, I really enjoyed this project. At first the idea of eating dinner with many people whom I did not know so well was a bit daunting, but it was definitely a worth-while experience. I think one of the over-arching ideas that I learned from this was that no matter how different everyone is, whether that be their age, their ideas, their education level, their political stance, or their socioeconomic stance, we are still able to come together as a community to have a civilized discussion around a dinner table. In today’s modern society, particularly in the younger generation, I think that the skills needed to participate in an activity like this are slowly being diminished. Participating in the KKT definitely enables you to work on your people skills and be willing to hear other peoples’ opinions even though you may not agree with them.

Another aspect that I found very insightful from this process was hearing everyone’s opinions on various issues with regards to their life experiences. I always enjoyed listening to Leah give her ideas and opinions since she worked at the center of citizenship and social justice. I learned a bit more about what the center stands for and some of their purposes. I also thought it was interesting listening to what the high schoolers had to say in regards to certain issues. Referring back to the need for younger people (including college age students) to have more experience in communication, I think one of the reasons it was a little awkward was because we are so used to communicating with people through technology, without having to take into account body language and improvising the conversation, rather than having some time to think about what you are going to say before you send it or tell it.

Obviously, the Kentucky Kitchen Table experience largely relates to the citizen and self class, along with some of the readings. One aspect of the class that I relate the Kentucky Kitchen Table to is the bridge metaphor. On the far left side of the bridge is where we are in today’s society, on the far right side is where we would like to be in today’s society, and then the bridge itself is the journey to meet the goal. As students, we started out on the far left side of the bridge, with the goal on the far right side being to be a fully engaged, model citizen. The Kentucky Kitchen Table is one of the events on the journey to becoming a model citizen that is on the bridge. Therefore, through activities like this, we are able to better ourselves as citizens.

In addition, one of the readings in particular, Jane Addams’ The Snare of Preparation, relates to the Kentucky Kitchen Table. In this article, Jane talks about the fault that preparing so much has, that being someone who spends so much time preparing for an event or for action, but never actually follows through after the preparations or does not spend an adequate amount of time acting. I see the preparing proportion of this as the time spent in the citizen and self class, preparing ourselves on how to effectively deliberate with others and how to be a better citizen in general. However, simply learning the “how-to’s” is not enough until you have put what you have learned into practice. An example of this would be to participate and organize deliberations in your own community, to become more active in your community through volunteering and voting in local elections, and to even host or organize more events like the Kentucky Kitchen Table.

In conclusion, I think that this experience was very beneficial in understanding the class more, and it also helped in making connections with people in the Bowling Green community. Furthermore, it solidified some of the key points in the citizen and self class, like the bridge metaphor. Hearing other people’s opinions and thoughts concerning what citizenship means to them and how they view controversial issues was also insightful, making this a memorable experience.

On Tuesday, November 2, 2016, a group of people gathered around a kitchen table on Kenton St. in Bowling Green, KY. This does not seem too odd, but half the guests were college students that were used to meals in dining halls and food courts.

There was Tyler and Kaylin, both freshman in the honors college. There was also Alison, a professor for the TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) who hosted the event. Another professor, Leila, also joined us. She teaches for the honors college and also teaches Citizen and Self.

I was walking towards Kenton St. when I ran into Tyler and Kaylin on my way. We listened as google maps told us where to make turns, and eventually ended up at our address. The house had two different doors, and after a bit of debate we walked to the side of the house and knew we had found our place once we saw Alison and Leila through the window.

After brief introductions from both professors and Alison’s dog Hazel, we were put to work to prepare for dinner. Kaylin chopped cabbage, and Tyler and myself set the four-person table for five. Light conversation was made as the meal was finished up.

Finally, the tacos were served. As a college student where most meals consist of some sort of fried food with no vegetables, seeing a table with cabbage and avocados had me already happy to be there. We served ourselves and sat down to enjoy the meal.

Conversation continued to be very light, and I discovered that Alison actually was one of my sorority big’s professor. Alison had actually taught that class before our meal, but I later learned my big had actually skipped that night.

We talked about how Alison actually found her passion as a teacher on a whim. She had an opportunity to go to Japan, and instead of following her traditional plan, she chose to take the opportunity and go. She found a love for Asian cultures, but more importantly a love for wanting to teach English as a second language.

We continued having conversation, and then Kaylin remembered we had to at least ask one specific question. “Beyond voting, what does citizenship mean to you?” Leila, who actually taught the class made the comment that she should actually have a good answer for this question. Alison talked about empathy. She said that being a good citizen means recognizing that everyone is going through something. You need to take a step back and ask yourself why is this person acting the way they are. Are they having a bad day? It is about recognizing we are all people and we are all going through different things.

I cannot tell you exactly how we got on the topic of dress code, but we did. In my high school, it was announced over the intercom to check for any dress code violations, and as you walked down the halls teachers stared at you looking for something wrong. Tyler had a very similar experience. Teachers at her high school would sit at the doors and check outfits as they walked in. Alison and Leila were shocked by our experiences, and recognized how uncomfortable these situations made us. Leila also brought up how it must have been harder during a time where we are learning to accept our bodies and our personalities.

We talked a little more going through a slew of topics before having desserts. We had these crunchy waffles with Nutella and this caramel made with goat milk. I love goat cheese, so the caramel was very good. Alison offered to make some tea, and we started talking about traveling. Alison told me about all these places I should go see when I study abroad next semester. We also discussed places we need to visit in Bowling Green. It was interesting how many areas of Bowling Green I still haven’t explored.

When I looked at my phone, I realized it was 7:45 and we had been there for almost two hours. Originally, I had scheduled a committee meeting for 8:00, because I had assumed the meal would only last for about an hour. Alison had just finished steeping some green and brown rice tea, so I texted my committee that I would be running a few minutes behind. I was not ready to leave. I was really enjoying myself and the real conversation. I stayed long enough to finish my tea before I rushed to DSU, where I turned a 15-minute walk into 8 minutes.

As I was practically jogging back going through backyards trying to make it to my meeting, I realized how nice it is sometimes to just sit down and talk about real things. By real things, I don’t mean talking about base things about how class is stressful or which professor handed out another assignment. We got to share our experiences. I think part of human nature is wanting to share experiences and connecting on those levels.

It kind of reminded of the shipyard project: a mix of types of people coming together and sharing their experiences. This is one of those things that may not create the biggest change in the world, but allows people to connect on a level that is much more internal. It allows us to make connections with people that we may not think we have a lot in common with. Sharing your experience is both therapeutic and important to being a human.

In the class we ask ourselves how do we live better together. I think it starts with understanding the human experience. To understand that, you have to share and listen to the experiences of others. It is from there we can draw our conclusions on what we change and make better in our lives and the lives of others. If you don’t understand it, there is no way you can fix it.

I personally loved this assignment. It was nice to step outside of my normal routine and eat at a kitchen table.

By Tyler

I never really thought that I’d find myself at a stranger’s house for dinner, nor did it sound very appealing, but 10/10 would recommend. I’m more of an introvert and having conversations with people I don’t know makes me nervous. So I’m glad I was kind of forced to break out of my shell because I would never have done this on my own.

Kaylin, Amy, and I began our little journey using Google Maps to try and find where we were supposed to go. After a few wrong turns we finally made it only to realize there were two doors and we had no idea which to go in. After circling the house, we finally decided on a door because we could see people cooking through the window. When we walked in we were greeted by Alison’s dog, Hazel, and then Alison and Leila. Alison, our host, teaches in the English department at WKU. Leila was a guest also eating with us who teaches Citizen and Self at WKU. I guess I should also give a brief description about me and my classmates. I’m from a small town in Kentucky, Kaylin is from an even smaller town in Kentucky, and Amy grew up in a bigger town in Tennessee that neighbored an army base.

After introducing ourselves, Alison put us to work right away chopping vegetables and setting the table. I’m glad she gave us something to do to make the meal seem more like a team effort. We made small talk while doing so and once everything was ready, we took our plates and sat down to eat. I was starving and was super glad that we were having chicken tacos instead of some weird vegetarian food that Kaylin, Amy and I had joked about on our way there. We first talked about our majors and different little things about ourselves. Then Alison really got my attention when she told us about her college experience. She had originally gone to college with the goal of becoming a lawyer but then she got a random opportunity to go teach English in Japan. Since she had never gotten to study abroad, she took up this opportunity and ended up falling in love with it. She stayed for two years in Japan and went on to teach other countries as well. She dropped the idea of becoming a lawyer and became a teacher instead. Her advice to us was just try everything and jump at the random opportunities. This made me think of the Jane Addams reading for our class “Snare of Preparation.” We have to just throw ourselves into the world and not really think about it. We just have to actually do it.

As we were eating, Leila and Alison were guessing spices that were in each other’s dish. They both seemed to really like to cook and it wasn’t your normal everyday country cookin’. They knew a lot about different ethnic foods and seemed to have tried it all. Alison says she learned a lot of it from her experience in Japan. They gave us some suggestions for the best places to get sushi and told us to visit the salt cave in Bowling Green if we ever needed to clear up our sinuses.

We then decided we should probably ask the question of the day, “What does citizenship mean to you?” Leila laughed a little saying that she should have a good answer to it since she teaches the class and then Alison said that she thinks it means recognizing that everyone is dealing with something. I immediately started to wonder if she had sat in on one of our classes because those exact words have come up many times in our discussions about empathy and how to live better together. I was not expecting her to say something so dead on to what we have been discussing all semester. Honestly, I was expecting Leila to say something about it since she teaches the class, but she just agreed with Alison and added that we should always think about why a person is acting the way they are, maybe they’ve had a bad day, or maybe they weren’t brought up the same way we were. We had a small discussion about citizenship, much like ours in class, about putting ourselves in another person’s shoes.

We then got on the topic of dress codes at our high schools. We talked about how Amy and I had teachers that would sit at the door as we walked in to look at how we were dressed and make sure it was appropriate. We mentioned how guys were allowed to wear shorter clothes than us and then Leila made a comment about imagining if all of this time was spent teaching men about consent instead. This conversation eventually led into the talk about feminism. Amy mentioned how surprised she was by how few people stepped forward when asked if they were a feminist in the game we played in class. I have to be honest, I didn’t step forward in class because I thought that it meant that I got super offended when guys made jokes about women or got mad if a guy held a door open for me or something. I didn’t know that it actually just meant that you believe women should be equal to men. Someone mentioned that people just don’t know how to express themselves and Kaylin went on to tell a story about her boyfriend’s mom talking about how she didn’t believe in interracial marriage but eventually went on to say that she just didn’t want it for herself but she didn’t look down upon others who do it. Sometimes when people say things, they don’t actually mean what it sounds like. Sometimes things are definitely worth deliberating on.

We moved onto dessert, which consisted of cookies, Nutella, and goat caramel. After Alison said it tasted “goaty” I decided I would pass on that part of the dessert. However, everyone else seemed to really enjoy it. Alison offered us tea with rice in it and I decided that I should probably pass on that as well. As you can tell, I’m not very adventurous with the foods that I try. We wrapped up our conversations and said our goodbyes. Instead of the dreaded dinner that I had imagined, it ended up being my favorite part of this class. It’s not too often that you actually sit down at a dinner table and have a home-cooked meal filled with meaningful conversations, especially in college.