by Rachel

My Kentucky Kitchen Table was hosted by Matthew, a local minister in Bowling Green, and his wife Ann. Besides myself, two other students, Corinne and Tanner, attended. Before this, I didn’t know any of the others, so I didn’t really know what to expect from our dinner. We got to the house and introduced ourselves to Matthew and Ann, and found that Tanner, Corrine, and I had more in common than we knew. We were all freshmen, and majoring in some kind of science (engineering, chemistry, and biology, respectively). We found out that Matthew and Ann had lived in Bowling Green for several years, after moving from North Carolina. Just as we were beginning to ask the obligatory questions about citizenship, there was a knock at the door. Matthew got up to answer it and said “Thelma’s here. She’ll probably introduce herself as Halle Berry.” From then on we knew our dinner was going to be very interesting. Thelma, as it turned out, was 89 years old, and one of the funniest people I have ever met. She had stories to tell about everything from growing up in Bowling Green to her trip to the 2008 presidential inauguration. As it turned out, we didn’t need to ask many questions; we learned everything we needed to about citizenship from listening to Thelma’s amazing stories.

Thelma did, in fact, introduce herself as Halle Berry, and from that point on the night and the conversation only got better. First, she talked about going to Washington D.C. for President Obama’s inauguration in 2008. She talked about standing outside in the cold to watch, and going on a tour of the White House afterwards. To me, the presidential inauguration stands out as a unique symbol of democracy. It bring together the entire nation regardless of race, gender, political affiliations, or anything else. This was the first time I had met someone who had experienced it in person, and hearing Thelma describe it reminded me of what a unique opportunity to participate in our country’s democracy she had.

As the dinner progressed (and we all enjoyed the amazing food Ann had made for us), we moved on to more serious topics, and Thelma opened up about her childhood. The table grew quiet as she discussed being abused as a child. It was clear as she talked that she still felt the emotional pain of that time. I may not personally be able to understand how she had to feel, but I wanted to. I wished I could have empathized in a better way, and done something to help heal these wounds that obviously still hurt so many years later. Thelma also talked about her experience as an African-American woman, and the ways she had experienced racism on a personal level. She talked about growing up in a time of racial segregation, and feeling that nothing was being done, that “that was just how it was.” Even today, she still felt the effects of racism as one of the only African-Americans members of the presbytery at her church. She described that she feels her race makes her stand out, that she feels like “the loneliest fly in the buttermilk.” I was reminded of the subtle ways that a serious problem like racism can sometimes present itself, and of a Zora Neale Hurston quote that Claudia Rankine used to describe the same feeling in Citizen: “I feel most colored when I am thrown against a sharp white background.” Listening to Thelma’s stories, I was amazed again and again by how much she had experienced, how difficult her life had been, and yet how happy she was. She said, when discussing racism “it never bothered me.” She had learned to live with some incredibly difficult situations, and yet, had keep the sense of humor that let her introduce herself as Halle Berry, and I admired her for it.

As I was writing this post, and reflecting on what I learned that night at Matthew and Ann’s kitchen table, I was reminded of a discussion we had in my seminar towards the beginning of the semester. We had just read an article titled The Empathy Exams, and were discussing whether empathy is natural. Can you learn to put yourself in others’ shoes and understand their pain, or is it something you’re born knowing how to do (or not)? The class consensus was somewhere in the middle, we all seemed to think it was a little bit of both. It was months later, listening to an 89 year old woman talk about everything she had experienced, that I finally understood what it means to learn empathy. I couldn’t fully understand Thelma’s stories of abuse and racism, but listening to her, I could get a sense of what she must have felt. As best I could, I put myself in her place, and tried to understand what she had been through, and how it had made her the amazing person that she is. While I still couldn’t perfectly understand her situation, I had some small grasp on how it felt. In this way, I learned to be a little bit more empathetic, simply by trying to be. I was reminded of all the things that others, particularly those who are older and more experienced, have to teach, if I am willing to listen. This was just one of many lessons I learned that night. I also met a group of great people, who I was glad to share dinner with.

By Tori

For my KKT project, I chose to find my own table and be assigned a partner. I hosted our dinner at my house in Bowling Green where we enjoyed a delicious platter of pigs-in-a-blanket along with chips and salsa and queso. Rachel was my assigned partner from class who revealed that she is originally from Nebraska, which was very interesting to learn about the differences between our two states. She invited her roommate, also named Rachel, to our dinner, who is a lesbian and who provided information as to the differences and difficulties of an alternative sexual orientation. I invited my boyfriend, Ian, to attend the dinner as well, who  is currently pursuing an alternative to college by entering straight into the workforce after high school and thus providing a different viewpoint of the system. In addition, Ian invited his friend, Justin, who grew up in a very poor community, receives government assistance each month, and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Justin was able to illustrate the benefits of government programs and the experiences of living with a mental illness. Including myself,  a woman from a rural background and the child of divorced parents, that makes five at the dinner.

At our dinner, we discussed many hot-topic issues that are currently going on within our country, such as equal rights, the legalization of marijuana, and the importance of being an active citizen. With the differing genders, backgrounds, sexual orientations, political beliefs, etc. of the group, we had a variety of different viewpoints on the issue that helped spur discussion. For instance, when asked what it meant to be a citizen (beyond paying taxes and voting and so on) we each found it difficult to vocalize into words. However, Rachel said that part of being a citizen is just being a decent human being in general. Ian suggested that contributing to the betterment of society is also part of citizenship, and I said that helping out your fellow neighbors and citizens is also part of what it means to be a citizen.

From this experience, I learned a lot about the people I shared it with as individuals, about myself and my own beliefs that I had not previously thought of, and about my duty to society as a citizen. I learned that just because we all might not agree on a topic, it is still important to listen to the beliefs of others and not discredit them because it might also help you understand why you believe what you do. And I feel that it is this discussion that can potentially help us cross the bridge to where we want to be. By listening to differing ideas and viewpoints, we can come up with solutions to even the most wicked of problems. That is why I feel like public discussion and forums are so important to our democracy. The people need to have a voice in the way their society is, and they need to be heard.

By Tanner

I shared my Kentucky Kitchen Table experience with fellow students Rachel and Corinne on April 10, 2016.  A couple, whose names were Matthew and Anne, were gracious enough to invite us into their home, and allowed us to share a meal with them. None of us students had ever met Matthew or Anne before, who probably had no real reason to be especially excited about the evening ahead of them. It seems to me that having a dinner in your home, at your dinner table, invaded by three college students would not be the ideal way to relax after what must be the busiest day of the week in their household. Matthew is a pastor in Bowling Green, and this dinner happened to fall on a Sunday night. Upon meeting Matthew and Anne I could not help but notice the kindness that they share as a couple. They were not overly talkative, but Matthew especially had a dry sense of humor that kept the conversation lively, even when at first the conversation was mostly small talk. When we first arrived Anne was in the kitchen working hard on the meal we were about to enjoy. She volunteered to cook the entire meal herself and did not ask any of us to bring anything. This caused her to have to try and be in two places at once, hurrying from the living room to the kitchen, and back again as she simultaneously baked pie, cooked chicken, and got to know her guests.

As I said before, the other guests, besides me, were Corinne and Rachel, who are both our class Citizen and Self, though Rachel has the class at a different time than Corinne and I do. I knew Corinne very well before the night began. She was one of the first people I met when I arrived at WKU earlier this year. I knew that she would be just as social that night as she is all the time. She has a great personality, and is a good listener. I had never met Rachel before, but Corinne told me beforehand that she had had a biology class with her during the fall semester, and that she was very nice. When I did meet Rachel I could see that she was a little nervous, but she definitely opened up over the course of the evening. The biggest impression she left on me was her love for animals as she monopolized the attention of our host’s new puppy over the course of the evening.

We had probably been in Matthew and Anne’s home for about fifteen minutes when Matthew informed us that he was expecting one more guest. He informed us that an elder of another one of the local Presbyterian churches would be joining us for dinner. Matthew told us that her name was Thelma, and that she was an eighty-nine year old African-American women who was a big personality, and often introduced herself as Halle Berry. This description made me both nervous and excited. I had just begun to become comfortable in a stranger’s home, and now a new stranger was coming who was not even sure of their own identity. I had a feeling though that such a big personality would make the dinner more informative and entertaining.

Soon after Thelma arrived, I realized that my excitement and to some extent my nervousness were both warranted. One of the very first stories she told when she arrived was how she had gotten the opportunity to attend the inauguration of President Obama. The part of her story that really stood out to me was how she was very embarrassed during the event when a white man she was sitting next to wrapped her in his coat in an effort to make her more comfortable. What must have been to the gentleman a kind gesture extended to an elderly woman, was perceived by Thelma as a source of embarrassment. She said she was afraid how people watching the inauguration on television would perceive it. Here this was, a major event in the history of civil rights for African Americans, and she was being taken care of by a white man. She believed it clashed with the meaning of the event, which was that an African American was completely capable of leading the most powerful nation on earth.

No one else at the table, besides Thelma really spoke much over the course of the evening. This was not a bad thing though. You could tell that she loved the attention, and her stories were so vibrant because of her amazing memory that I was completely captivated by them. She spoke about what it was like growing up with an abusive stepfather. She told about her experience with racism. She apparently would be excluded from golfing scrambles because no one thought a black woman belonged in a country club. During these conversations everyone else at the table would get very quiet, but someone was always nodding in agreement as she talked. I think even Matthew and Anne were surprised by some of the stories that they may have never heard before.

These conversations really fit together well with the book “Citizen” that was discussed in the Citizen and Self seminars. She did not limit the conversation to just race. She dispelled some of my beliefs about what eighty-nine year olds are capable of when she told of how she still went in to schools for problem students to talk with them and be a role model. She also told about how she could make it to Louisville from Bowling Green in an hour. The fact that she still drove amazed me as did her memory and her sense of humor.

I am very grateful to Anne and Matthew for inviting me into their home and introducing me to Thelma. The discussions that we had at that table were so educational, and will be one of the first things I think about when I remember my freshman year at Western. In Citizen Self we read an article titled “Happiness” about what it really takes to be truly happy in life. I do not know what the answer is, but I think Thelma does, and I think everyone at that table had a lot to learn from someone who has overcome so much in life yet still has such a lively spirit in her twilight years.

By Trevor

My Kentucky Kitchen Table project took place in my own home in Bowling Green, Kentucky. My parents insisted on cooking the entire meal for our guests. My parents were super excited to have people over for dinner because we don’t often do. I invited a couple of my friends, our neighbors, and the majority of our other guests were friends and colleagues of my mom. First, we have my friends Conner, Abby, and Shelby. I’ve known each of them for many years, and we’ve went to many of the same schools. Now, Shelby lives in Nashville and attends Belmont, Abby attends SKYCTC, and Conner goes to WKU with me. Next, we have my neighbors Vickie and Brian. My mom’s friend and coworker Stephanie joined us, and she brought her son Corey. I had never met them before, but she is really good friends with my mom. Corey ate with my little brothers and sister, but they aren’t pictured in the photo. My parents not only cooked, but ate with us and contributed a lot to the conversation.

To start things off, we went around and told each other where we worked and what we did, and each of us answered the question about how each of our jobs relate to our roles as citizens. It just so happened that my mom, Stephanie, and Vickie all work at the hospital, but they all work in different departments and do different things. They all talked about how they feel that their jobs relate to their roles as citizens because they help other citizens in times of need such as when they are sick or are having a baby. Abby talked about how she keeps score for many kids’ sports teams in our community, which makes it possible for them to get out and play with each other. Conner works at a vets office. She absolutely loves it. She hopes to one day be a vet, and she is currently working as a kennel worker gaining knowledge and experience. My dad teaches architecture and drafting at the tech school in Russellville. Brian works at the Kobe aluminum plant, and Shelby thought that was quite interesting because her dad works at Logan aluminum. When we asked Brian what he did at Kobe, he said “I run a daycare… no actually, I manage a group of 6 or 7 people, but it often feels like I’m running a daycare.”

The conversation soon shifted to us discussing the reasons why we enjoy living where we do. Having came from small towns such as Tompkinsville and Scottsville, Vickie, Brian, my mom, and my dad all agreed that the reason they moved to Bowling Green was because there are many more job opportunities here and “there is everything you would ever need here,” said Vickie. Vickie also said she loves Bowling Green because it is a big enough city, but still small enough to have that hometown feel without a lot of traffic. Shelby made a lot of good points when she talked about how there isn’t a lot of crime in Bowling Green compared to other cities such as Nashville where she lives now. She said she also liked living in Bowling Green because the sales tax is lower in Kentucky. During this discussion, Abby finally realized why her McDonald’s Sweet tea was $1.06 in Kentucky but $1.10 or $1.09 in other states like Tennessee. Her mind was blown. It was hilarious. We all came to the conclusion that the cost of living is a lot lower in Bowling Green and most parts of Kentucky compared to other places in the United States. My dad talked about how blessed he feels that he is living in the United States. He talked about how grateful he is that he can have as many kids as he wants, and choose his occupation, and just other simple freedoms that we often take for granted and others in the world don’t have.

My family has always sat at the dinner table each and every time we ate dinner at home. It is something that I have actually always enjoyed, even as a kid. For this reason, I was interested in finding out if other families in Bowling Green did this as well. Abby told us that her family usually eats in the living room but they are usually still all together and watching a sports game. Both Vickie and my mom talked about how when they were younger they sat at the dinner table. When they got married, they usually ate wherever, but once they had kids, they made it a New Year’s Resolution one year to eat dinner each night as a family at the table, and it just kind of stuck, and it has been that way ever since. Brian said that as a child, his family ate dinner in different locations in the house, but now that his family sits at the table each night, he really enjoys it a lot more. He talked about how it was really the only time to actually be able to catch his kids and talk to them since all their schedules were so different.

As everyone started to finish their dinner, we decided to discuss the final question of what does citizenship mean to you. Conner and Abby’s responses were simple yet important. They said that they believed it to just being a part of the community, caring for others, and doing your part. Shelby talked about how she felt it was “being responsible for yourself as well as others in the community.” “It’s a whole system and we all have to contribute to make it work.” Finally, my dad made some good points when he related to himself. He talked about how citizenship is being a part of something bigger than what you could accomplish on your own. “I can’t build a road from here to Russellville to get to work and teach students, but I pay taxes so others will build the road for me. Now, I can get to work in order to make money to provide for my family while the construction workers were also making money to provide for theirs.”

Conversations like these are actually not uncommon in my family. Sometimes we talk about some pretty serious things, especially when it comes to the news and what’s going on all over the world. However, it was interesting to get some new people’s opinions on some very important topics.