By Reuben

My name is Reuben and I had my Kentucky Kitchen Table in Alvaton, Kentucky. I am grateful for Emma, my wonderful classmate that invited me to be apart of her family’s Easter gathering. I am also grateful for her kind and welcoming family, without them, this script would have never came to be. It was a extraordinary day that gave birth to new mindsets within my brain, new relationships that I dearly treasure, and a chance to befriend a wondrous family whom were so kind, and very much so inspiring.

I have never been to Alvaton before, but the people whom I met during that eventful day has made the name more than memorable. When I first step foot into their humble abode, I noticed their walls comprised of colorful quilts with different patterns and a masterfully made wooden coffee table in the middle of the living room. I had the honor of touring a room filled with relics from both Native American and Egyptian cultures. A room filled with sentimental memories of the past and numerous ornaments on the walls instilled with a sense of treasure less value which only Larry and Norma can grasp.

Being the only stranger at the dinner table, I had trouble memorizing people’s names; however, thanks to Emma, I learned that the people in attendance were Steve, Larry, Norma, Carol, Baker, and Jack. Everyone around the table brought a unique set of experiences and came from different backgrounds. Steve, Emma’s father who shares his daughter’s love of song and theater, a good father as well as an excellent man of character. Larry, Emma’s grandfather who is a retired mechanical engineer who has a hobby for woodworking, his wood shop displaying many of his fine crafts. Larry’s wife Norma, has her own hobby of quilt-making and cooking, she was excellent in both regards, and in my memory I haven’t met anyone who’s made prettier quilts. Auntie Carol – is not Emma’s real aunt – but nevertheless a valuable family friend, she moved here from Hawaii. I listened to her interesting stories about the fishes of Hawaii that tasted far greater than any fish that she has ever found in Kentucky. Along with her adorable dog called Jack, and I’ll genuinely admit, meeting this adorable dog has been the greatest happenstance of my life. Last, but not least, there was Emma and Baker, the kind couple who gave me the opportunity to attend this lunch. Emma, my wonderful classmate who’s studying elementary education and history at Western Kentucky University. Baker, her dear boyfriend who’s studying advertising and graphic design at WKU, whom also has a great sense of humor. Last, but the best, the precious soul that is Jack, a adorable dog that took a instant liking to me, and I to him. The food was superb, a lot of traditional comfort food, and most of all, the conversations were enlightening, impactful, and overall an enjoyable time. I am very grateful for Emma.

We began the discussion with the fundamental required question: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you”? The immediate response around the table were puzzled pauses and curious glances. Auntie Carol broke the silence by talking about her Canadian-born friend whom has lived in America for a long time, but she obtained her American citizenship later on. She described that our American citizenship is a privilege that many Americans take for granted by those people who obtained it by being born on U.S. soil. She said “I have always thought of this place as my country, my identity isn’t something I would give up easily.” I think that Auntie Carol has brought up an topic of identity. That our identity is not always defined through our roles, professions, or conflicts. Our identity is who we ARE not we do. Auntie Carol stated that there was something right about being an American, that we should be proud of our history, our ancestors that fought for it, and that we have our freedoms.

Afterwards, we dove into the issue of DACA, the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, the program created in 2012 by the Obama administration allowing young people brought to this country illegally by their parents to receive permission to work, study and obtain driver’s licenses. While I am not affected by DACA, I feel bitter for the people who are affected by Trump’s decision to reverse President Obama’s executive action of creating DACA. Baker mentioned his that friend, Husway, was brought illegally into American by his parents when he was young; therefore, he was affected by DACA. He stated that Husway is going to get married soon, and he fears that the situation with DACA will bring worth unwanted complications. I told the family my experiences with international students. I knew that whilst WKU’s student population was over 20,000, the international student population was below 1000, and the numbers have been dwindling as time moves forward. I strived to make the connection between the DACA affectees and the international students, because our country is constantly changing, shifting our many viewpoints and with the new president in the White House, I noticed that less and less international students were coming to WKU for schooling, whereas before he took office the numbers were raising every year. I share my experiences because I have worked with ISO before, International Student Office at WKU, and they tell me that over time that less and less students are coming to WKU, and visas are becoming more difficult to obtain. I shared with the family that international students have an F1 International Student Visa, and they are greatly limited in regards to finding work, applying for scholarships, and many other resources. International students can’t complete the FAFSA form, because they are not citizens, so for many international students, funding their education is one of their greatest challenges in the U.S. As I speaking, Auntie Carol mentioned that Saudi Arabia is undergoing new changes with the new Prince. She also mentioned that Japan is under new educational changes, so that could also affect the population of Japanese students studying abroad. Steve talked about his friend Katar who got into real estate and the Sulocks who are in west Texas. After much sidetracking about education, visas, and internationals, Steve brought us back into the main conversation and asserted that some people think “Citizenry” is just working. He said whether if it’s in retail, restaurant, or factory work, to some Americans, being a working citizen and contributing back to society is their idea of being a citizen. Larry reasserted Auntie Carol’s statement that some people take their citizenship for granted, because even though people are citizens, he worries about the fact that many Americans know so little about their own country. In my humble opinion, I agree with Grandpa Larry, because I realize that there are many people in the U.S. that are not working, but still expect the government to give them money. Programs like medicaid, or other assistance programs are providing for people who refuse to work, and I believe that those people are not good examples of good citizenry.

Later on, I posed the question about whether or not the group trusted the government. I was met with laughter and chuckles around the table. Grandma Norma stated “sometimes”. I asserted to the group that while I do not trust our government, I certainly believe in our country. Steve recalled his story of discussing the idea of “pensions” and how the state legislators in Kentucky has voted to alleviate their budget with teacher pensions. He stated that people are inherently selfish, and that comment resonated with everyone at the table. He described that these “pension” ideas, for example, social security, was created during a time when there was a “need”, that the legislature created a great idea, but it was for them and the people during that time period. However, the younger generation with their respective visions, is far different from the older generation. I remember Auntie Carol stating that while she does not trust the government as a whole entity, you have to look at the individual situation and what’s occurring in the moment. That you can’t listen to “fake” news, and that people have to do some research or investigation of their own, because you can’t completely trust the government.

The theme that I learned was that our government is not always on the same page of the people it serves. For example, Larry said that our social security would be just fine if the government didn’t take money out of the fundings, but the younger generation came in and relocated some of the money for other fundings. I remember Auntie Carol summed it well when she asserted that the government aren’t aware of what small groups or individuals want because they’re far removed from the people that they’re meant to help. Overall, I was ecstatic at our conversation around the table, that everyone had a different opinion and story in regards to citizenship, American values, and our government. I looked around the table, people who felt like strangers, now feel more familiar. I was overjoyed by what conversation and deliberation could bring, I was happy that each person brought their thoughtful opinions, values, and opinions to our conversation, and I learned so much just from listening. I learned so much from the family, and I am sincerely grateful that Emma has brought me to her family’s lunch.

Before the dinner was over, I asked the people around the table if they had faith in humanity. Again, I was met with laughter and chuckles from the group. It was a dramatic question, but I knew it would elicit interesting opinions. I asserted that it’s wrong to live with no faith, because if you have no faith, you don’t believe in others, and my logic is that happiness comes from the people around us, Auntie Carol said that there was faith in everyone, it just depends on how that faith is developed and nurtured. Baker said that everyone is inherently evil, but as people grow up, they change their ways for good, because society influences change in the individual. At the end, unexpectedly, Steve responded with razor wit and said:

“Do you drive?”

“I do drive.”

“I think everyone in here has faith in humanity then.”

I was awed by his undoubtedly high IQ logic. I had learned a great many lessons with this family, and I am indebted to them for giving me their knowledge. I think this can relate to Keith Melville’s “How We Talk Matters”, that deliberation is very different from conventional conversations, and that they require the skills of patience and tolerance. In hindsight, I realized that conversing in my Kentucky Kitchen Table, a successful deliberation requires everyone to be open-minded, be willing to share their opinions, and talking about difference. I learned that disagreement is certainly a positive force, it opens mindsets to different perspectives, and I always believed that the word “different” is not necessary good or bad, it’s just different. In relating my Kentucky Kitchen Table to our central ideas of the class, I would relate it most to “How can we solve problems?” I learned that there isn’t one process to solving a problem, it’s a number of steps, and deliberating and sharing different opinions is one of the fundamental steps to solving problems. We can begin to solve problems by striving understand one another, by reducing the boundaries of our differences to nothingness. The reason to care for another, the amounts of efforts that we put to bridging our gaps, that thought along can make a difference, and I realize that that deliberations may not save the world, but it can make a difference to someone, and by slowing understand that change comes with time and patience, I know then, we can start to solve problems and make the world better.

By Emma

On Easter Sunday, seven people, ranging from my close family to a considerably recent acquaintance, gathered at my grandparents’ house for a time of food and fellowship in Alvaton, Kentucky, a community outside of Bowling Green. For me, traditional family dinners on holidays are a well-worn tradition that has formed my childhood and shapes my adult life. This dinner allowed me to catch up with my family while also adding a new guest and the opportunity to discuss and deliberate on a variety of social issues and our interests regarding citizenship.

Around the table sat a variety of interesting personalities that brought an array of experiences and opinions to the conversation. My name is Emma, and I am a nineteen-year-old studying elementary education and history at Western Kentucky University. While I have lived in Bowling Green for the past ten years, much of my childhood was spent in Indiana. My dad, Steve, is forty-eight years old, holds degrees in political science and student affairs and a doctorate degree in educational leadership, and works as an administrator at the University of Kentucky College of Medicine. While Steve is a registered Republican, he is often relatively moderate in his political opinions. Also at the table were my maternal grandparents, Larry and Norma, who are in their late sixties. They are high school sweethearts who have lived all over the country from Indiana, Texas, California, Nebraska, and now, Kentucky. They have two children, a son, who lives in Colorado, and a daughter, my mom Laura. Larry is a retired engineer who now fills most of his free time with woodworking, photography, and watching football. Norma is also retired and enjoys quilting and cooking. She insisted on cooking the entire meal on Easter Sunday, which was full of traditional comfort food. Both Larry and Norma are considerably conservative in their political opinions. Auntie Carol, despite her affectionate title, is not actually related to anyone at the table. She was born and raised in Iowa but spent much of her adult life in Hawaii as a massage therapist where she raised her two children. She lost her husband many years ago to cancer, and after meeting my grandparents, she befriended my family, moved to the mainland in Nebraska, and has become like another grandparent. She, too, is largely conservative politically and a devout Catholic. Next to me sat my boyfriend Baker, a twenty-year-old advertising and graphic design student at Western Kentucky University. Baker was born and raised in Kentucky, works as an intern at a local church, and considers himself to be politically moderate. Finally, my friend and classmate, Reuben was our new and very welcomed guest at the table. Reuben was born in New York and is very involved with learning and growing in his Chinese heritage. He is an architecture student at WKU. Primarily in age, levels of experience, and interests, our diversity was evident as we sat around the table. After catching up on school and hobbies and discussing my mom and sister, who were out of town on vacation, we began our deliberation on citizenship and other topics that were important to us.

“What does citizenship mean to you?” opened the conversation and provided the opportunity for many people to discuss their perspectives. Carol discussed that it was a privilege that is often taken for granted by those who obtain it by birth. She said it was more than just living somewhere and that it should be appreciated for all the rights and responsibilities it brings. She discussed her appreciation for those who work to obtain citizenship honorably but also recognized her lack of appreciation for those who may try to immigrate illegally. Larry and Norma both remarked that they were extraordinarily proud to be American and that people often forget how special it is. Baker noted that a close friend of his, an illegal immigrant, had recently become engaged to an American citizen, an occurrence that some people had speculated was just an attempt for him to gain citizenship. Baker’s comment sparked conversation regarding the DACA, or Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, controversy. Steve adamantly opposed the deportation of illegal immigrants who arrived in the United States as children. It seemed that Steve felt that a person who feels a connection to the place they live and is willing to contribute to the productivity of the society deserves the opportunity to stay in the country. Norma added to this point, saying that many natural citizens of the country lack the willingness to contribute to society and rely on government assistance. The overall theme of the answers to the citizenship question seemed to be that American citizenship was a privilege that should be held in the highest regard. Too often, we take the rights we have for granted.

Then, Reuben posed the next question about whether the group trusted the government. Carol answered quickly that she did not but began to reason through her adamant opposition to the current government. She stated that the government is currently far removed from the people it serves, particularly at the national level. This was a resounding comment at the table. I mentioned my thoughts that perhaps the democracy envisioned at the country’s inception was not the democracy that frames the nation today. I mentioned that I firmly believe in the country’s ideals, but I think too often, the ideals that shaped early American values remain absent from the America we know today. Steve, Larry, and Baker discussed the concept of term limits for legislators who may maintain a level of comfort that prohibits them from executing their duties effectively. Norma mentioned that it is up to the citizens to ensure that unofficial term limits are enforced. Overall, this topic yielded an agreement that the government’s failures, especially on the national level, are currently more evident than its successes. Additionally, I found it interesting that the entire table agreed that citizenship is a distinct privilege, yet we all found issues within the government that seeks to serve its citizens. Reuben also asked the table if we held a hope for humanity. Each person giggled slightly at the seemingly dramatic question, but after a few moments, many of us came up with a thoughtful response. While I do not remember the specific responses, every person at the table agreed that hope in humanity was certainly present. I think hope for the future and a hope for the success of ourselves and the people around us is what ultimately drives all ambition and purpose. I also couldn’t help but look around at the kind, familiar faces that sat at the table and the large helpings of food in between us and feel that my hope in humanity, as silly or dramatic as it may sound, was right around me in that moment.

This afternoon allowed me to appreciate the many perspectives of my family that are not often shared around the familiarity of the dinner table. Additionally, it allowed me to see that taking the time to get to know a classmate and appreciate him for the unique experiences he brings to the table is a necessary and special way to stretch beyond the comfort of an ordinary family dinner. I left the dinner with a new appreciation for the many backgrounds present that allowed each of our circumstances to meet at that specific moment. Furthermore, I saw the benefit of the deliberative engagement described by Keith Melville. While we did not solve the world’s problems over dinner, my family did gain insight into diverse opinions and maintain respect for one another while discussing issues of considerable importance.

I think it’s important to note that one of my favorite moments of the afternoon occurred outside of the meal we shared together. My grandparents are antique dealers, and one of the rooms in their home is dedicated to many of their priceless or collectible items including Native American artifacts, tobacco tins, clocks, china, and Civil War artifacts. One of the more special items in their collection is a Civil War rifle that was carried by one of my relatives in the Battle of Antietam. Before our meal, my grandma showed our special guest, Reuben, around the antique room and allowed Reuben to hold the rifle, which is one of the photos I included. After reflecting on the afternoon and looking at the picture of Reuben holding the rifle, I came to an interesting realization. My relative, Joseph Carter, carried that gun into a battle in 1862, and Reuben is a young man descended from Chinese immigrants living in 2018. There seems to be little connecting the two parties, yet the simple invitation of Reuben to my grandparents’ home allowed this wide gap to be bridged tremendously. In our class, we often discuss a bridge that connects how things currently are and how we would ideally want things to be. The bridge holds many diverse ideas and strategies, yet I think the overarching theme of the bridge is effort and respect. It took a small amount of effort to invite Reuben to a family dinner, and we all enjoyed and respected hearing his unfamiliar and diverse stories and ideas. Similarly, if even a small amount of effort and respect is applied to other aspects of life and deliberation, many other wide gaps can be bridged as well.