Starting left and going around the table: Larry, Brian, Melissa, Mikaela, Ann, then Mackenzie (me-front center)

By Mackenzie

My Kentucky Kitchen Table meal took place on Sunday, November 4, 2018. I hosted the dinner at my grandmother’s house in Powderly, Kentucky – a small city in Muhlenberg County. I had five guests at my meal. My first guest was my father, Brian, who is a lifelong citizen of Muhlenberg County. He works at a manufacturing plant called Logan Aluminum as a general technician. He is the sole financial provider for my family. He is also the world’s biggest fan of the Kentucky Wildcats, and I must add that I have never seen something broken he could not fix. My second guest was my mother, Melissa, who has lived both in Pontiac, Michigan during her early childhood years, and in Muhlenberg County for the rest of the time. She used to work for a supply company at a local sporting goods store called Uncle Lee’s when I was younger, but she decided to become a stay-at-home mom because she was missing out on so many valuable memories as my sister and I grew up. This decision is one of the best things that I think could have happened for my family because it has allowed us to create such a close bond and truly appreciate all that she does for us. She is truly the glue that holds us together. Neither Brian or Melissa attended college, but Brian has taken a few courses here and there to move up positions at work. Also, neither Brian or Melissa came from very wealthy families. They both came from families on the lower side of middle class. Melissa’s father, a coal miner, passed away when she was only sixteen years old. This sudden loss took a great toll on her, my grandmother, and my uncle both emotionally and financially, but they still made it work and never went without. To continue, my next guest was my sister, Mikaela, who is in her first year of teaching second grade in Logan County, Kentucky. She graduated from Murray State University this spring with a degree in elementary education. She is a lover of all things from Target, and she is quite easily my best friend. My grandmother, Ann, was also there and allowed me to host the meal in her home. She cooked a majority of the dishes we served for dinner, and Melissa cooked the rest. The recipes Ann and Melissa used have been ones that we have followed and served for numerous occasions my whole life. Ann is a retired elementary school janitor and lunch lady, who now cleans at a local appliance store because she cannot sit still, even in her retirement. She has a heart of pure gold, and she never ceases to make you smile. My fifth guest was my uncle, Larry, who is a former butcher at a local grocery store and a current employee at Carhartt. He is a total jokester, and he keeps us on our toes. Of course, both Ann and Larry have also lived in Pontiac, Michigan since they are my extended family members on Melissa’s side. Finally, there was me, Mackenzie. I am a freshman at Western Kentucky University majoring in Elementary Education.

Before starting the conversation, I had some expectations for how the conversation would go. I was worried I would have to pry a lot to get my guests to engage in the conversation, but I also was pretty certain I knew what to expect based purely off of the majority of my family’s political and religious standpoints. Brian, specifically, has very strong Republican values, so I anticipated he would have a lot to say for my questions. I expected my other guests to follow his lead once he said his thoughts, but I was definitely surprised when the conversation began. As planned, I started the conversation by asking the mandatory question: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” Ann was actually the first to respond by simply saying, “Freedom.” I asked my other guests to elaborate more and expand on the idea of citizenship, and Melissa began naming more qualities of a good citizen by saying, “Trustworthiness and honesty.” Mikaela and Larry agreed with Melissa. At this point, I realized that Brian was being quiet, which was definitely out of character for him. I asked what he thought about the question and he said he agreed with freedom, but he also pointed out the importance of serving in a community role. Whether that be through volunteering, starting a community organization, serving in local offices, or so on, he expressed that it is necessary that good citizens work toward the greater good of the community. That being said, he believes a large part of being a good citizen is looking out for and taking care of others. This conjecture led me into my next question perfectly: “Do you think we have any obligations to other people in our country or our community?” All of my guests astoundingly agreed that we have a role to help others in our country and our community as much as we can. Brian, although he brought the idea up prior to my question, admitted that he does not always take the time or make an effort to do all he possibly could to help others. I pressed on by asking whether they believed their religious views led them to feeling that it was their duty to help others, and they all agreed that it definitely did. Brian, Melissa, Mikaela, Ann, Larry, and I all identify as Christians, so service to others means a lot to us spiritually. In addition to this, I believe that religious views even contributed to the kinds of persons my guests wanted to be when asked. I received answers such as kind, caring, thoughtful, faithful, dependable, honest, and so on. These answers line up a lot with the ideas of what my guests believed embodies a good citizen.

From this point, I decided to see what my guests thought about how their jobs measured up as far as serving a special purpose. Brian and Larry were quick to say no because they both work factory jobs. In my opinion, they do not know how it serves a special purpose because they do not always really see the ways their products are used worldwide. However, Melissa was quick to remind Brian that his job was what has financially supported my family for years. Mikaela had a much different answer to this question. Because she is an elementary school teacher, she serves a huge role in society as an educator, a role model, and a motivator for children of all different backgrounds. She literally is teaching and shaping the future of America every day, and it is a job that she is very passionate about. Because Ann is retired, she did not have much to say about jobs except that she completely believes in the importance of each role of the public-school system in Kentucky from teachers, to administrators, to janitorial and cafeteria staff, and so on.

A final point worth noting from our discussion at my meal was my guest’s answers for the question: “What social issue is closest to your heart and why?” Mikaela was the first to answer by saying that poverty and hunger were very close to her heart. As a teacher, these issues were so evident to her and brought her to exhibit such empathy because schools consist of students from all different socioeconomic statuses. The rest of my guests strongly agreed with Mikaela in that poverty and hunger were social issues that they cared deeply about. The conversation sparked Melissa and Ann to tell stories of their involvement in Thanksgiving food drives and other donations they had made to those in need. The answers to this question helped my guests reevaluate just how much they have looked out for those in their community, and hopefully even encouraged them to look for ways to be more involved in the future.

One of the overall themes I noticed at my Kentucky Kitchen Table dinner was definitely one that I had anticipated and touched on a little earlier. My guests based a lot of their answers on their religious outlooks and moral beliefs. For example, through the conversation I learned that my family really appreciates living where we do because of the simple, laid-back lifestyle it has. They enjoy that people in our community hold similar values and morals to us. This example was one of many instances throughout the meal that reiterated that religion and morals truly are a sort of handbook for how many citizens live their lives, especially in the Bible Belt where we live. I was not at all surprised that my guests placed so much importance on morals because for a majority of people, moral aspects rule the mind since they are what lie in our hearts. As the reading, “The Irrational Dog and Its Intuitive Tail” by Jonathan Haidt noted, many people make moral decisions based on the emotions in their hearts. Haidt elaborated by saying that we reason about what is wrong and what is right because of what we feel emotionally – that reason serves to support our emotions.

When I was first given the Kentucky Kitchen Table assignment for my Honors Citizen and Self class, I expected it to be a bit of a hassle to get my family involved. On the contrary, it turned out to be really interesting to see how the people I have literally grown up with think and to learn things about them I never knew before. While my guests and I frequently have dinners around the table, never before have we had such a thought-provoking conversation and discussion as this. It allowed me to see more of why I think and feel the way I do. I have definitely developed plenty of my own views, but I cannot deny the relationship between my family’s views and my own. This dinner has allowed me to realize even more how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by such a loving, supportive family that encourages me to think freely and serve others.

Overall, this assignment really relates to what we have been learning in Honors 251 because a lot of the questions asked of my guests provoked answers that could be applied to our three central questions. I believe that if we truly began to look out for each other more and realize that we do have an obligation to help those around us, we could solve so many issues our country faces on the daily basis. Many of the themes that we have discussed in class such as morality, empathy, and education were topics that quickly arose during my dinner, even with little provocation on my part. This really taught me that generally, we can agree on what is important of citizens and what we can do to live better together and help others.

By Mary Beth

On Sunday, November 4^th, I went home to Owensboro, Kentucky to host my Kentucky Kitchen Table project. The brunch took place in my home at my dining table, where we ate chicken and waffles, fruit, biscuits and gravy, and hash brown casserole. I invited a neighbor, two of my mom’s co-workers, and one of the co-worker’s fiancé. My neighbor, Julie, has been around for most of my life, but beyond living in the same area, I did not know her very well prior to the brunch. She is a widow, her husband died from cancer when I was very young, and the mother to three biracial children-two daughters and a son. Julie works at a rape crisis center where she counsels victims of sexual abuse. My mom’s coworkers, Delanie and Sarah, I have met before when visiting my mom at work. Delanie is fresh out of college, in her mid-twenties, and lives alone in a rural area outside of town. Sarah, in her thirties, is engaged to Ben. Both Sarah and Delanie are social workers, specifically working in case management. Ben and Sarah live together and have three rescue dogs. Ben is a technical writer for BB&T Bank, also in his thirties, and works from home. I had not met Ben prior to the brunch. My mom was also there, and she is in her late forties and works as a social worker. The last guest is me, Mary Beth, an 18-year-old girl who attends Western Kentucky University and is double majoring in International Affairs and Public Relations.

I began the conversation with the required question: beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you? Julie was the first to answer, saying she believed citizenship is speaking up for those that are oppressed. She stated being a good citizen is an extension of “love thy neighbor.” Julie is Methodist and very religious, all though she said she rarely agrees with everything said at her church. To her, citizenship is thinking outside one’s own family and taking care of others when needed, stressing the importance of volunteerism. Delanie spoke next, saying she believes citizenship is being tolerant and respectful of other people’s religious views and opinions. She also thinks citizenship should emphasize integrity and honesty.

Sarah chimed in, agreeing with Julie, saying being a citizen requires compassion and giving to others. Ben answered next, straying away from the moral obligations the others at the table had expressed, and spoke about the importance of being involved. He thinks as citizens, it is our duty to pay attention to politics and the world around us, particularly local news. While national politics often hold our attention more, he thinks citizens should be knowledgeable on what is happening in our community as it often has more impact than we realize. I mentioned the primaries coming up and how many people do not even know who they are voting for, myself included. Ben agreed on this sentiment, saying we all should pay more attention to the things that will impact our everyday lives and be aware of what is happening in our community.

I next posed the question: what kind of community do you want to live in? Sarah was the first to answer and said she wants to live in a proud community, one that can celebrate and appreciate our community’s history and shared identity. Julie agreed, adding she wants to be a part of a community where individuals understand where their rights end and others’ begin. I brought up the recent event in my hometown where a man dressed up as a Nazi and his child as Hitler for Halloween, saying that the situation was appalling and shed a bad light on our community. They all agreed that the event did not embody what kind of community they wanted to live in, but it made them confront the problem’s our community has. While bad, the situation almost brought the community together, as many people rallied against the man. Delanie said it was refreshing to see the backlash he received, while our community has a long way to go, one man’s actions do not reflect the sentiment of our town as a whole. The topic shifted with Ben jokingly saying his ideal community was one where people went to bed at a decent hour and mow their lawns.

I then asked whether religion influenced how they see themselves. Julie answered quickly, saying it 100% influenced how she sees herself. She strongly believes in the Golden Rule, “love thy neighbor,” and said it is prevalent in every major religion. Sarah and Ben disagreed, as they are not religious. They both agreed religion does not define them as people, rather they chose to live their core values, whether it is rooted in a deity or not. Ben said he believes a person should strive to maintain equality and be a good person, regardless of religion. I liked this part of our conversation because it reflected the diversity of thought among the people at the table. While Julie is very religious and bases her life off her religious beliefs, but Ben and Sarah do not practice any religion at all, they can politely disagree on how it defines them. All parties at the table agreed, however, that being a good person transcends any religion and can be universally practiced.

The topic of conversation shifted as I asked what social issues they all hold close to their hearts. Sarah immediately answered with the right to marry. She and Ben agreed that gay rights are the most important issue to them. Julie agreed, as her son is gay. She added that the oppression of marginalized people is the most important issue, whether it’s women, black people, or the LGBT community. She mentioned a story that happened on Halloween where a fellow neighbor called her daughter the n-word. I was shocked, saying that as a society, you would think we were becoming more progressive, not digressing to old racism. The event also made me think of the book, Love Thy Neighbor, about how quickly neighbors in Bosnia turned on each other and expressed hatred towards one another. Julie explained that her youngest daughter has experienced more blatant racism than her two older college kids. Delanie joined in, saying people are not more racist than previous years, just that the political climate has emboldened them to express it more. They table agreed that with political leaders like Trump, people feel they can express their opinions, however hateful, more freely.

With the topic of political leaders brought up, I asked what advice they would give to those running for office. Delanie advised those running for office to listen to people and what they truly want. Julie stressed the importance of running positive campaigns and not smearing the other candidates, making me think of the presidential ads we watched in class. Ben added to the conversation, saying candidates shouldn’t be afraid to swing for the fences and be brave in taking a stand. He advised aspiring politicians to get more people involved and allow others to express their views. Even though most people have their minds already made up, he thinks it is a poisonous thought to not think that we can make an impact. I mentioned to him a book we read titled, The Political Brain, that states a third of voters already have their minds made up and the goal should be to target those whose minds are not unchangeable.

I ended the conversation on a positive question: what are the best things in our world today? The question was met with silence as all my guests considered something good in the world. Ben finally answered, saying the interconnectivity of the modern world has made it easier than ever to meet new people, learn new things, and encounter ideas different from your own. New technology, he said, has greatly changed the way we communicate and broadened our ability to connect with others. Julie agreed, saying technology can be used for positive change and allow us to see things from others’ point of view. She thinks that in our world, people are given the opportunity to use their voice more.

The whole project reminded me of an article we read in class, “How We Talk Matters.” By sitting around a dining room table and calmly discussing, sometimes disagreeing, we embodied the deliberative engagement the article mentions. Deliberation, rather than argument, centers on the ideas of divergent thinking, a “groan zone” of figuring out a possible solution, and convergent thinking, finally coming to a common ground. My guests showed that deliberative engagement on a personal level can affect the way we interact with our community.

The Kentucky Kitchen Table project inspired me to engage in more thoughtful conversations with my peers and college community. Finding a common ground, something all as humans can agree on, is not as impossible as we previously thought. When we come together, share a meal, and discuss what it means to be citizens, we acknowledge the rights of others to be heard. The project has taught me the importance of not only being a good citizen, but having beliefs on what citizenship is.