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By Ethan

Last Sunday, November 11, 2018, I was invited to Evan Hughes’ home to eat dinner with him and his family. There was eight people in total at this dinner, all with varying ages. Evan and I are both eighteen. Evan’s youngest sister, Ellie, is fourteen and his oldest sister, Maddie, is twenty-one. Evan’s parents, Chris Hughes and Melanie Hughes are both in their fifties and so are Joe Hendricks and Kaye Hendricks, who are longtime friends of Evan’s family. So, at this dinner, there is a freshman in high school, two college freshmen, a young adult just out of college and four financially stable adults, each with kids.

            When Evan and I first arrived at his home, dinner was not yet ready, but the whole house smelt like a nice, home-cooked meal from the moment we stepped through the door. All the women were busy helping making dinner, which, honestly, was surprising to me because my mother has always been the only woman in my house,so she always cooked by herself for the entire family. Anyways, I was introduced to the Evan’s mom and sisters, then entered the living room to meet his dad and the family cats and wait for dinner to be ready.

            Shortly after, a call from the kitchen announced that dinner was ready and oh man was I hungry. Before me was an excellent spread of burritos, taco bowls, and any taco topping you can think of. Chris Hughes said a short prayer over the meal and the night and then his family insisted that I get my plate first because I was their guest, which I hated. It felt so weird to go before the women; growing up, my mom always hammered manners into my head, so it is second nature at this point. Evan followed me to get his plate and I got a glass of water then followed him to the kitchen table. Maddie asked if we would like some music to go along with the meal and everybody replied positively so she pulled out her iPhone, logged onto Spotify and soon authentic mariachi music was playing in the beautiful, Russellville home.

            We all started eating and engaged in small-talk with each other and since I hadn’t met any of these people until thirty minutes before, I think this really helped me settle in and just get a little bit more comfortable with my surroundings because I had been very cautious to keep from doing anything that could be seen as even remotely rude up to this point. Soon enough though, Evan and I had both cleaned our plates and Melanie noticed as soon as I took my last bite and immediately insisted that I get more. So, we went back into the kitchen, got our second helping and headed back to the table. Shortly after our return, one of the girls said, “So are we going to start the thing now?” I looked at Evan and we both just shrugged our shoulders and basically agreed it was time to begin.

            The first question was “Beyond voting, paying taxes and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” I couldn’t think of an answer off the top of my head, but the adults were quick to speak. Chris talked about carrying your own weight and doing your part for the community while Kaye and Melanie both hit on being respectful and helping neighbors. The golden rule was also brought up which came from them being teachers. Kaye is currently an elementary school teacher, Melanie used to be a teacher and now works for the Board of Education and even Maddie is going to school to become a teacher so there was plenty of teachers at the table. They all agreed about treating others the way you want to be treated and thought that it is an essential part of citizenship.

            After that we moved on to “What kind of community do you want to live in?” and I believe everyone would say just a nice, safe community where everybody is friendly and everyone else at the table said the same thing, but the adults took it a bit further. They discussed how community means that people work together for the good of the community and build up each other so that the everybody can live as well together as possible, which really reminded me of one of the key questions of our class “How do people live well together?” I think we all really agreed that when people come together in order to better the community and better understand others, that is when community is at its best and everyone feels content with the community, and all of that kind of ties into the next question we asked about “What is your favorite part of the community you live in?” I didn’t have much to say about this question because I am not very involved with my neighborhood and haven’t ever talked to either of my neighbors even though I have lived in my current house for almost four years, but Evan’s parents both really enjoy how safe their neighborhood is and are very close with their neighbors. They explained that Logan County has more of a family atmosphere than other places, so the community seems much closer because everybody is just so friendly and relatable and welcoming. Chris also loves the history of the area and how it has had a mix of agriculture and industry for a long time.

            “Do you see your job as serving a greater purpose?” brought us to our next topic. Kaye and Melanie, having been elementary school teachers, both felt passionately about this. They talked about how being responsible for teaching young children includes making sure they develop into good citizens by instilling good character traits such as respect, humility, and determination. Kaye said it best by saying she is building “little citizens.” I had never really seen it like that and I feel that most elementary school teachers probably don’t get a lot of respect because many people don’t see them as responsible for developing the character of kids, just teaching them how to read and write. With my job as a cook at a local pizza restaurant in my hometown, obviously I toss pizza dough and make pizzas, but I’m not just making people food. With an open kitchen, I often talk to the guests and got to know many regulars during my time there and I just wanted to help people have a good time and enjoy their meal. A simple interaction with somebody can always brighten their day and I never know what a person is going through so that’s why I always felt the need to be polite to everyone.

            We then moved onto “Do you think we have any obligations to other people in our country?” I would say everybody at the table agreed that if you are in position to help others, then you should always try to help. And this doesn’t mean you need to be financially wealthy and writing big checks to charity. You can help in so many ways, such as volunteering at a local non-profit, giving some spare change to a homeless person, or even just giving a pedestrian a ride on a cold, winter day. Often times, we are too caught up in our lives and make ourselves so busy that we feel we are too busy to ever take some time to help others and the truth is that in a community, people help each other because they care for each other.

            The last question that Evan and I asked was “What social issue is closest to your heart and why?” and after a quick joke from Chris about how healthcare is closest to his heart because it’s what takes care of his heart, we quickly got into the biggest discussion of the night, with family and marriage dominating the conversation. Joe talked about how having kids before marriage puts the children at a much higher chance of living in poverty and developing certain psychological problems, as well as picking up bad habits like smoking and drinking. Chris brought up that people leaving their families is more common now and it stems from the childhood of those who leave their families and typically, they experienced divorce between their parents, so they do not have that strong tie to a family. The adults also believed that marriage had changed from a sacred bond to just a government contract and because of the government’s part in marriage, people now have a skewed idea of it and do not take it as seriously as they should.  This led us into discussing something known as the “sexual revolution” which I had never heard of before, which kind of reminded me of the reading about how young people are losing their sense of morality. I understood what the adults were getting at, but my parents both have had multiple divorces and I still intend on making sure I have the right person in my life before starting a family and when I finally do start that family, I’m going to be totally confident that it is going to last.

I’ve always hated when adults assume things about young people but at the same time, I understand where they come from, even more so now that I was able to listen to Chris, Melanie, Joe and Kaye talk about their concerns for the direction that people are heading. I also hate when young people complain about how their parents or those of authority attempt to steer them in the right direction because kids my age or younger haven’t experienced the things that our parents have and that’s why they tell us these things. We want to succeed in our lives and perhaps our parents want us to succeed even more.

This was a fun assignment and I certainly enjoyed the home-cooked meal which are certainly a luxury now that I’m in college. This assignment taught me about how to play a part in your community, helping others, and the sexual revolution and it really is crazy how much I see “wicked problems” in our daily lives and how hard it is to really talk about these problems, let alone solve them.

By: Emma

I hosted a Kentucky Kitchen Table in Louisville, Kentucky on November 9, 2018. I felt like I had a pretty diverse group of people, because I covered a variety of different generations and financial backgrounds. My grandma, Michele, is one of the people who attended my KKT. She is 76 years old, has 5 kids, has been married for more than 50 years, and has a strong faith in Catholicism. Her friend, Ann, also attended the brunch. This was someone I did not know well, so having her at the table was going to bring in some abstract thinking I hadn’t heard from my own family. She is 75 years old and also defines herself as a Catholic. She has an active role in her family and treasures her grandchildren. Michele and Ann cover one generation’s perspective of the world. The next generation consisted of my mom, Rhonda, and her friend, Jennifer. Rhonda is about to be 54 years old and I am her only child. She has been married for 22 years and loves her career of being a flight attendant. Her friend, Jennifer, is someone I do not know very well. I learned that she is 47 years old, has had a nasty divorce in the past, has 2 children, and has been in an 8 year relationship with her boyfriend. She used to be a social worker, then a teacher, and is now working in an office for a construction company her boyfriend owns. The last person to attend my KKT was myself. I am 18 years old and am considering a career as an orthodontist. My views on the world tend to differ slightly from those in my immediate family, so I was very excited to learn about the views of the people I did not know very well. The brunch (which was going to be a dinner until I had to return to Bowling Green early because of the mold in Minton) started with small talk about Panera and the bagels my mom and I had brought from there. Everyone contributed something to the brunch so we also had yogurt, fruit, coffee, and milk. We slowly died down on the subject so I decided to ask the one required question. I asked, “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” At first everyone was a little quiet, but once conversation started rolling it carried on for a long time. My grandma, Michele started by saying that citizenship to her meant building a community with the people who shared the same common goals and values as yourself and then working together to improve the status of the United States. Everyone else at the table nodded and agreed with her response. On top of this, another common theme in the talking was that citizenship was showing love for the United States and not taking for granted where we live. We are given so many freedoms and blessings by being citizens of the U.S. which is an important thing to remember in your daily life. Since the theme of community was brought up, I decided to ask, “Do you know your neighbor? Why or why not?” Immediately, Michele shared that she had a very close relationship with all of the people on her street. They would have dinners and festivities on their street where they could all spend time together. Michele said that if she ever needed anything she knows her neighbors would be there to take care of her always. Ann shared a very similar statement by saying she also was very close with her neighbors. She said that even though they may not all have the chance to get together very much, she knows they’re always there for her. Jennifer, however, had a very different response. She chose who she did and did not have a relationship with in her neighborhood. Going through a divorce in a small town and small neighborhood made for a lot of gossip with her neighbors which gave her reason for not trusting all the relationships she could’ve formed with them. She usually sticks to herself and will smile or wave to neighbors when seeing them, but no true conversations are ever really had. Rhonda shared a very similar response as Jennifer in that she is cordially with her neighbors but doesn’t truly know them all that well. It was easy to see that there was a difference in how generations live now a days through this conversation. Slowly, interactions with the people living around you are dwindling and many people in my generation couldn’t tell you the names of their neighbors. This topic led into the question of if they had meals with their families or neighbors growing up. All of the people at the table had an overwhelming answer of “yes” to this question. All of them reminisced about sitting down at dinner every night with family and inviting neighbors, and there wasn’t a day they skipped this or ever really went out to eat instead. They always set time aside to spend face-to-face quality time with the people they cared about, and they think that nowadays there is a huge lack of focus on family time and building a community. This is something all of them tended to be disappointed in and the blame tended to go on kids’ year-round sports, jobs becoming more accessible for women, longer work hours, the need for a larger income, and technology. All of these things in society have taken precedent over knowing your neighbors and spending time with family, and this changed has caused a lot of people to misunderstand each other. After all of these questions addressing community, I decided to bring up a tougher question. Since they said citizenship was having a sense of community and using common values to make a change in the U.S., I wanted to address the bad things happening with in the United States. I asked, “What social issue is closest to your heart?” My grandma always gets the conversation started, and she said her social issue was abortion. She is pro-life except in the cases where the mothers’ life is in danger. Her religious background plays a huge part in this. Michele believes in taking care and loving all living things, and that even surprises can bring some of the greatest joys. The next social issue brought up was from my mother, Rhonda, and she talked about immigration. She believes that our immigration laws need to be followed by all people who want to become U.S. citizens, because she found it unfair that some people skip through the whole process while others do it correctly and wait a long time to come to the United States. Rhonda feels that if immigrants want to become U.S. citizens than they need to begin following our laws from the beginning. This led to talk about refugees and into Ann’s social issue of pure hatred. Close to Ann’s hard was the lack of compassion and understanding for people in the world. She can’t understand how you can look at someone and choose to be hateful towards them. This was something everyone at the table could agree with. And lastly, Jennifer’s social issue was within the welfare system. She thinks it needs to be revised, because she has seen first-hand through her job in social work that the system is failing the people that need it the most. She witnessed too many people cheat the system and have an abundance of kids in order to obtain more money from the system. I saw a common theme throughout all of these social issues. While we might not all have related to each other’s social issues or had the same view of them, we all had a deep need for the protection, safety, and love of those around us. This common ground was an important thing to keep in mind, because it shows that no matter what side of the political spectrum you’re on, you can relate to someone completely different from yourself. All humans tend to have an innate compassion for those within their circle, and this is what could save our world from many evils today. I learned a lot from realizing this commonality between us at the table and also that it is possible to have a calm discussion about topics that are too easy to get heated about. At the end of our brunch, we all talked for a while how more people should do things like this rather than screaming at each other, because no true understanding of others can be formed. I also learned that it is okay to have differing views from my parents, even when it might be hard at first. This Kentucky Kitchen Table provided me a safe and controlled space to talk about my views without feeling the slightest bit threatened. My KKT also reminded me of the article “The Intuitive Dog and Its Rational Tail” by Jonathan Haidt. Talking through our beliefs about community, complex social issues, and citizenship during this brunch made me see how accurate Haidt was in saying that we must appeal to people’s elephants or emotions. This is how we made progress in our conversations during the KKT, because hearing stories and personal experiences helped us relate to their views so much more rather than spitting facts that support a side. Our class runs, usually, by speaking to each other’s elephants as well so it was nice being able to carry this outside of the classroom for better, civil conversations. What was supposed to be a brunch with unfamiliar people turned into such easy conversations and newly formed relationships that lasted around 3 hours. Once we started talking about topics that are usually not brought up, people realized they had many feelings about it and were glad to open up even to strangers about it. I at first dreaded doing my KKT, but at the end it was one of the most meaningful experiences I’ve had around such complex topics. I hope I have the opportunity to do this again next time I go home.

My Kentucky Kitchen Table was very successful. It was held at my house in Bowling Green on Monday, November 5th and consisted of myself, my parents: Laura and Brain, and three other honors 251 students: Emily, Eliza, and Shayla. My mom, Laura, is a school psychologist for two elementary schools here in Bowling Green, Natcher and Lost River Elementary. She’s a very caring person who loves helping those in need like her kids at work. She mentioned at the dinner about her love for finding a cure for families who have kids they can’t yet find solutions for in their behaviors. These kids become a huge impact on her life and the way she chooses to go about her job everyday. My dad, Brian, is an accountant at WKU. He is such a happy person; he looks at life very realistically but yet still continues to have a smile on his face. He is always there to reassure me that everything isn’t as bad as it is put out to be, and then puts a smile on my face by showing me his happy and laughable nature. Emily is a student at WKU majoring in English with the hopes of becoming an English teacher in a high school or college. She has become one of my really good friends who is very optimistic about life and loves to see the best in people. During the dinner she loved to tell stories while relating them back to whatever we were discussing which allowed for each topic to reach a more personal level. Eliza is also a WKU student who is majoring in Psychological Sciences with the dream of becoming a profiler for criminals in prison. She is very laid back and loved to talk about her home life during the dinner. Shayla is a WKU student who is majoring in dance and biology with the hopes of becoming a dancer but has a fall back plan of going to medical school.

At the dinner we discussed many questions. The question that stood out to me the most was our first question: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” I believe this question was very memorable because the answers reflected each one of us so different, but yet we all came to the same theme and conclusion that being a better person can ultimately lead to a better community. I answered by saying that we as people should be accountable for each other; when someone is in need they should feel that the community they are apart of will be able to help them throughout the situation. Being a citizen starts with putting others before yourself because selflessness and kindness can bring a community and even a country more together. My mom had a very good response as well; she described a part of being a citizen as recognizing that we as people are all different and diverse with our own views and beliefs especially in Bowling Green with it being a refugee city. She said that being able to recognize one another’s beliefs would hopefully enable more acceptance in a country that has some people who only see their perspective as the correct view or belief. Shayla brought into the discussion the idea that all three of our central theme questions for the class can all play a role in how one displays citizenship. For example, the question, “How do we address shared problems?”, can go back to what my mom was saying with how we should always be aware that we will not always share the same opinion; therefore, we must not jump to the conclusion that our views are correct. We should take time and listen to the other side before making a decision. This idea is similar to what we talked about in class with the elephant and the rider; the rider being the thing that requires you to rethink or consider other opinions.

Another question that we discussed that we talked about for most of our time was: “What do you think are the best things about our world today?”  The answers to this question to me were honestly really eye-opening; it proved to me that our world isn’t always as hateful and negative as the media brings it out to be. For example, Eliza answered this question by describing the kindness that she witnessed daily in her hometown, and the fact that it’s not something that is really ever discussed in the news today. She talked about how even though we might like to think the world is always out to get us with the overwhelming negativity, there seems to always be people there to help you with whatever you’re struggling with. Even if this is mostly seen in towns like Bowling Green or the small town of Iowa where Eliza is from, it’s not an abandoned idea or concept in bigger cities like New York. There will always be people who see the bigger picture, hold empathy for one another, and even put others before themselves; to me that’s just human nature. We all have a conscience that enables us to depict morally right from wrong or good from evil, and I think that’s what makes us human. People’s good works and kindness towards others isn’t necessarily mentioned in media or the news because sadly that doesn’t grab many people’s attention. The more awful occurrences and tragedies attract viewers which then allows it to spread, and from there the negativity continues to grow larger and louder. People only really see the hurting and the broken throughout the world, and those who are trying to help the world through selflessness and humility are missed from the creation of continuous negative media.

An additional idea we discussed with the question of what we find best in our world was the concept of empathy. This idea follows the same concepts as Eliza’s but I thought it had lots of power behind the message. Both my mom and I talked about how empathy can play a very important role in one’s life. I found that empathy was a truly amazing thing in our world today whether it be used or not; the ability to understand and share the feelings one is going through allows for a person to connect and develop strong relationships with each other. It’s such a strong and amazing tool because not only can it allow one to connect with people on a deeper level, it makes one view other people’s perspectives. For example, the reading we did in class about the girl who played a role in pretending to be a sick patient for the trainees in medical school displayed very strong traits of empathy throughout the girl’s life. During her time with this role she found herself enjoying the empathy students expressed for her pretend sickness because she felt as if she wasn’t being shown empathy in her real life. This pretend life is where she felt as if she was really being cared for, and honestly when you really begin to think about it, it is very sad. She felt as if nobody really cared or understood her circumstances, so she took that emptiness and filled it through these role plays. In our life we have to opportunity to display empathy towards others, and I believe we should never take that for granted because you never truly know how much someone might need that sense of knowing that someone else understands. That’s why I believe that empathy can be so powerful in our world today; it can truly change people’s perspectives about their own lives and the community that they live in. It can give people a hope of knowing that their not alone in a world that might seem so large yet so empty at the same time. It’s a tool that enables people to form bonds, create relationships, and heal brokeness. Empathy, I believe, can ultimately turn a life around.

Overall, our Kentucky Kitchen Table went wonderfully. I think that each one of us took away something very powerful or insightful that we hadn’t really thought of before. We were able to hear perspectives from each other on different questions that brought out every personality sitting at the table. I was honestly a little skeptical at first, but in the end I was very glad that we had the opportunity to intake on this really great experience. I was able to hear opinions from both of my parents that I had never heard before which made me look at them more as adults rather than just my parents. I was able to learn new things about each honors student, Emily, Eliza, and Shayla, and now I feel as if I know lots of their backgrounds just from the many childhood stories told throughout the dinner. The Kentucky Kitchen Table was a lot of fun, and I honestly would do another one if I was given the chance.

 

By: Megan Hesse

My Kentucky Kitchen Table took place Sunday afternoon on November 11^th in my hometown of Madison Indiana. My aunt was coming down to spend the day with my mom. My aunt Julie is 33 and lives in northern Kentucky, she offered to bring a lovely salad to the lunch. We invited my neighbors who moved into the neighborhood a few months ago to the dinner as well. Will and his daughter Laura were able to come, they brought homemade rolls that were honestly delicious. My younger sister and mom were both at the meal as well. In the group of people, there was still diversity. We had many different religions at the table, my mom sister and I are all Catholic, but my aunt just joined a nondenominational modern Christian church and my neighbors are both Mormons. There are also different age groups represented at the table, my sister Kelly and Laura are both in high school, my aunt is in her early 30’s, and my mom and neighbor Will are in their 40’s and 50’s. My aunt also had a different sexual orientation than the other members at the table.

The first question that I asked was what being a citizen is to them to them, besides the basic an. All of the answers were surprisingly very similar. They all agreed that being a citizen means that to be elevate the area in which they live. This could simply mean to be nice and kind to the people around them or volunteering for different service organizations. It was also mentioned to participate in different activities going on in the area and communication and connecting with the people living in your area as well. They believed that connecting with people around them is important to citizenship. They all believed that the most important aspect of citizenship was just being a good person to the people around them.

I then asked each of them what they personally do or how their jobs allow them to be a better citizen. At my mom’s work, they have a service group that she has previously been the president that raised money for different causes around Madison. My aunt Julie is very involved in her church and service project that they do as well. She also talked about a race deliberation group that talks about how different races are treated in the area and a possible solution to problems. Even though no real actions have come about through it, she still feels like she is becoming more aware of situations going on around her, making her a better citizen. Adam was the next to answer, he has spent many years going on service trips and felt that it was making him a better person. He also works a good job so he was money to support his family and have enough to donate to other service organizations that he cares about. Kelly and Laura both really didn’t know what they do particularly to be a citizen. They both aren’t old enough to vote. They still both do some service work and they feel like that helping them be better citizens. They also are both in government classes at school, and Will pointed out that learning about our government and how it works helps us to be more informed and aware of what is going on around us and will allow us to be better citizens. I then asked them they felt like they have an obligation to help the other people in their communities. The whole group also agreed that we should help the less fortunate in the community.

When asked what type of community they wanted to live in their answers were also very similar. They wanted to live in a place where all people were treated with respect and people are kind to others. They wanted communities to have different things where the people can be involved and feel a part of it. Julie stressed the importance of accepting and respecting all people. She said that regardless of race, sexual orientation, or anything else that may set people apart from others, everyone needs to be treated with respect. Everyone else agreed that acceptance for all was an important factor for all successful communities. My mom likes that in her community she knows many people and people still say hi even if they don’t know each other. I then asked everyone else about how knowing the people around you make you feel part of the community. Most people agreed that knowing people always make you feel more involved and have a sense of belonging. My family makes it a point to know our neighbor and my whole neighborhood is friendly and kind towards each other which makes it feel like a little community. My mom also talked and becomes friends with almost everyone she comes into contact with in her daily life.My aunt doesn’t feel that knowing people makes for feel involved in the community. Some people may prefer to stay to themselves more, but still be a member as much as everyone else. Julie doesn’t quite know her neighbors as well. She doesn’t mind it though because she is more reserved and doesn’t need close connections with the people around her. She doesn’t have any children and feel like that is something that brings people together when parents interact, and kids become good neighbor friends. Will and his family have gotten to know many of the people in the neighborhoods since their move a few months ago and agree that once they knew the neighbors better they felt like they were more of the community.

The conversation then turned to talk about their childhoods and growing up. My mom and aunts were surprisingly different. My mom had 2 sisters that were very close to her in age. She grew up with a big family feeling. Her family all ate sit down dinner together, her parents were married, and they did many things together as a family. When she was in high school her little sister Julie was born. Julie still grew up having sisters, but they were older and not in her life every day. Her family didn’t sit down for dinner together every night anymore. She said she would have really enjoyed getting to sit down and talk with her family every day. My mom still makes sure that my family sits down to eat dinner every day. We aren’t even allowed to have phones at the table because my parents think that is rude, but also because it takes away from just enjoying being in the presences of one another. My sister said that she really enjoys our daily dinners. It’s a good time to really sit down and talk to your family members. Many of her friends and their families don’t sit down and have sit-down dinners like our family does. They will sit in front of the TV together and watch their favorite show, or they will just have dinner sitting out and the kids can come by and grab it whenever they feel like it. My sister thinks that there is a connection between people’s relationships with their parents and sit-down dinners. All of my siblings, including myself, are pretty close to our parents, and she sees that her friends that don’t sit down to dinner are don’t talk to their parents as much.  It’s too easy for siblings and parents to never really have in-depth conversations and sitting down to dinner is an easy way for that not to happen. Will and his family also sit down to eat dinner together every night, and he loves knowing what is going on in his kids’ lives all the time.

There are a lot of things from the conversations that I had that can be applied to our class. Being a citizen and our duties is a central topic for discussion in class and that is what we discussed for a long amount of time. We also discussed how being involved in your communities can make you a better citizen and the different ways that they make the world around them a better place. When talking about sitting around at family dinner tables I felt connected to the class a lot. We talk about how many people (especially our age) aren’t thinking about deep issues or taking time to have in-depth discussions at all. Laura even commented that she doesn’t usually talk about these types of things with people. I was surprised, but pleased, to see that my aunt is involved in a deliberation group and participates in these types of discussions in her everyday life. When I told my parents about this project they didn’t seem too excited about it.  They thought it was a strange project to require us to do. After we sat down and started discussing my mom seemed to be really interested in the discussion. She saw the value of us sitting down to discuss these topics. I was surprised that so many of the answers were so similar for the group of people that were at the table. There were different ages and religions, but everyone seemed to place value on the same things.

 

Starting from left clockwise: Betty, Joe, Vannah, Sheila, Logan, Nate (he was not apart of my KKT but he wanted in the picture), Gabe, and Larry

By Logan

My Kentucky Kitchen Table meal took place on Friday, November 9, 2018. I hosted the dinner at my own house in Williamsburg, Kentucky. Williamsburg is a small city in southeastern Kentucky. I hosted a dinner of seven guests. My first attendee was Betty. She was a member of my local church, Mountain Ash Baptist Church, who has lived most of her life in Williamsburg. She is the mother of three boys and was employed in food services at Pleasant View Elementary School before she was injured and had to retire. She now lives less than a mile from my house where she enjoys talking on the phone and cooking for her husband. Her husband, Joe, is actually my second guest. Joe was a maintenance supervisor for Roper Corporation for over 25 years while also being the father of three boys. Joe served in the United States Army for four years. Joe has long been retired and now enjoys his free time fishing and working on his farm, raising cattle. Joe is the oldest guest at my dinner and has had the most life experiences. He, as well as his wife Betty, have lived throughout many important political, cultural, and economic differences in American history.  My third guest was Vannah. Vannah is a pharmacy technician at Windham Drug, a local pharmacy. Vannah is in her twenties and has lived her entire life in Williamsburg. She enjoys traveling and had recently returned to Williamsburg from a trip to Las Vegas. Next on my guest list was my own mother, Sheila. Sheila is not from Williamsburg. She was born and raised in London, Kentucky. She grew up on a small tobacco farm and received her undergraduate degree at Somerset Community College. She worked 14 years as a registered nurse until she re-enrolled at Eastern Kentucky University and became a certified family nurse practitioner. She is the mother of two and feels very proud of her family. My next attendee was Gabe. Gabe is the son of my mother’s co-worker. He is the youngest of all the guests being sixteen and attends the same high school I went to last year. Gabe really enjoys cars and wants to be a mechanic who creates custom body jobs for vehicles. Being so young, I felt like Gabe would bring a younger perspective to my dinner. My final guest was my father Larry. Larry has lived most of his life in Williamsburg and attended the University of the Cumberlands where he received a bachelor’s degree in accounting. He is a financial advisor for Booth Energy. He also owns a cattle farm where he spends most of his free time. I, Logan, was the last attendee. I am freshman Biology major at Western Kentucky University.

The diversity around my table was easily visible. First of all, the generation gap could be seen with my guest’s age ranging from sixteen to almost eighty. Age is not just a number, instead, it comes with experiences. The world around us is constantly changing and people who are older have lived through those changes. Joe and Betty have experienced a world that no one else at this table will experience, even when the rest of the guests and I reach their age. From these different experiences, I expected diverse responses to my questions. However most if not all of my guests attended church and held close to the same political views. Despite these similarities, their responses were generally more different than I expected.

I began with the only required question: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” Vannah responded first with, “community.” She went on to explain how being community-based is very important and how helping others is at the top of her priority list. To my surprise, Gabe was quick to join in agreeing with Vannah. He compared citizenship to a football team. I asked for him to further explain and he talked about how a football team is composed of eleven players, each one having their own job. When all the players work together, the team wins. This really made me think about how something as complicated as citizenship, with so many different ideas, could be so easily comparable to a team sport. Each person having their own “job” or ideas, but all working towards victory. Larry also provided his input on the question with a more individualized approach. He said that citizenship is the ability to have the “American dream.” A place where a citizen can work hard, better his or herself and provide for his or her family. However, he also said helping others is just as important. My father did not believe in handouts of giving people money, but instead, he helps out the community with opportunities. Many times, he has offered jobs as farmhands to local citizens. Joe was very quiet and did not speak much throughout the entire dinner. His wife, Betty, offered most of the responses, which Joe would agree with. Betty agreed with Larry and really emphasized helping others. Sheila also contributed to the conversation with the idea of helping others. She had just recently participated in a suicide prevention walk in our local hometown in order to help educate others of local resources that are available for those that are suffering with depression or suicidal ideations. This established within my dinner table that no matter the age, we all agreed that helping others in our community was a very important part of being a citizen.

After learning this information about my guests, we discussed work and how each of the guests viewed his or her self as serving a bigger role in the community. Sheila was the first to respond. As an obstetrics nurse, she assisted in delivering babies at our local hospital for ten years and explained how she helped bring new life into the world. Now that she is a nurse practitioner, she often sees the families and children she helped deliver. Sheila feels like she is a part of that person’s life journey to keep them healthy to grow into new citizens of the community. Vannah was also quick to agree because she works in the medical field as well. As a pharmacy technician, she helps the citizens stay healthy by providing them the certain medications they need. Larry also pitched in and talked about how he provided energy to homes across Kentucky and was very proud of doing so. Being retired, Joe and Betty didn’t see their jobs as serving a greater purpose, but we all agreed that providing any good or service helps the community. Gabe being sixteen did not have a job yet, but he said that by being a mechanic he could help people by fixing their cars, so they could get to work. After hearing all this I made a connection that everyone’s job can be connected. It goes back to the idea of a team we discussed earlier. Each person provides a good or service to another citizen who can further go on to provide more services. It’s like a cycle.

The last thought that was established during my dinner was brought up on accident. I did not ask a question, but rather Sheila was talking to Larry about how a woman’s idea of a future has changed over time. It really sparked a conversation throughout my guests. It was the idea that a culture changed had happened throughout generations and how women did not have the same ideas in the past. For example, Betty explained that when she was younger that she was taught by her mother that she needed to “find a good man who would provide for the family.” So instead of being influenced by her mother to go to college and get a degree, she was taught how to do certain household chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and taking care of the children. Sheila explained that she was also taught those things but was taught the importance of education as well. Sheila was raised to be more independent, in order to provide for herself. Sheila has also implemented those same values into her daughter, that is now employed as a registered nurse, owns her own home at the age of twenty-three, and lives independently. Vannah also agreed that she has never felt like she should have to depend on a significant other to provide for her. She was taught by her mother to always work hard and be able to work independently, even though her mother was raised with the same values as my guest Betty. The men at the table didn’t have much input but Larry agreed that people, no matter the sex, should be able to work hard and provide for his or herself and not be dependent on others.

When I first read the requirements of the Kentucky Kitchen Table, I was not looking forward to it; however, after completing it, I was very happy with the outcome. First of all, when you are in college, you do not get the opportunity to sit down and have a nice dinner very often. Furthermore, this dinner allowed me to not only gain knowledge on how people around my community think but also how my own parents feel about certain topics and citizenship. One thing I learned that Betty brought to my awareness was the dying age of male chivalry in today’s younger generation. She grew up in an age where men were expected to open doors or give up his seat to a lady. After pondering this thought, I feel that through the evolution of women’s independence, some women view these gestures as a sign of weakness and would prefer to open the door themselves. It’s very obvious that generations have changed over the years and will continue to change.

This dinner relates to what I learned in our class by learning about living together better and how we have more say over our lives. During the beginning of the dinner, my guests and I discussed how we can help our community by being good citizens which goes hand in hand with living together better. Something that was interesting was when Sheila brought up the culture change and how women are taught to become more independent. This goes with our class’s third question: “How can we have more of a say over our lives – and contribute to others to having more of a say over their lives?” By having more control over one’s life, you can choose to become more independent. One thing I noticed from the observation is how people answered based on moral aspects of being raised in a southern Christian community. A reading that goes along with this “The Irrational Dog and Its Intuitive Tail” by Jonathan Haidt. He explains how moral judgment is a cognitive process and usually peoples’ first responses to certain questions or actions. He further explains how a person’s reasoning justifies their moral or emotional response.

The Kentucky Kitchen Table has taught me that no matter how small a community is, that there is diversity within it. With this diversity, you can learn a whole new perspective or ideas through simple conversations. You may learn something new if you just take the time to ask and listen.

By Carlee

Left to Right: Caity, Kristy, Steve, Jason, and Pam

My Kentucky Kitchen Table took place at my home in Cave City on November 4, 2018. There were 5 people present at the dinner, not including myself. I invited my parents, my sister, and friends of my parents. Caity, 16 years old, works at a local shoe store after school and is an honors student. Kristy, 46 years old, is my mom, a nurse, and Sunday school teacher. Steve, 51 years old, is my dad and owns and operates a bread business and teaches Sunday school. Jason, 47 years old, is a grandpa and works two jobs in a factory and on his farm. Pam, 53 years old, is a grandma and nurse. Kristy and Pam both have college degrees. Kristy is currently a student at the University of the Cumberlands working on her bachelor’s degree. Steve and Jason both only have high school diplomas.

I started the conversation with the question “beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” It took a minute for conversation to really get going. My sister jokingly answered “nothing” after I asked the question, but immediately took it back. We then entered a discussion of American citizenship specifically. Jason was eager to say that citizenship was about freedom. As a group, we talked about how we should be intentional to use our freedom wisely and to help others. Jason and Steve talked about how being a good citizen is being a good neighbor – being there for others and willing to help them. This led to the topic of politics. Everyone concluded that the problem with politics today is people simply aren’t good citizens. It’s rare people actually consider others’ opinions or sides of the story different than their own. All anyone cares about is their political party winning, not who would make the best leader. I then asked, “how can we steer clear from this selfishness in politics?” The elimination of political parties on ballots was suggested by Kristy, but we all were aware that it’s rare this would ever happen. But it was discussed how helpful this would be in making thoughtful decisions – citizens would be forced to vote for candidates based on who they are as people, not on the political party they identify with.

Next, I asked what my guests thought the best things were about our world today. There were some mumbled responses about how that was a tough question. I encouraged the group to take time to really think about what is good in the world despite their instinctive thoughts that the world is bad. Kristy and Pam, both nurses, discussed how the advances in medicine are remarkable and how thankful they are for them. Then, all the adults talked about how technology is good. This quickly turned into a nostalgic conversation as they brought up how calls across the state used to be considered long distance. They all began to share stories from their childhoods – how they would have to wait for their neighbors to get off the phone line when they wanted to call their friends and how their parents never knew their location once they left the house. It was fun for Caity and I to get to hear these stories since we’ve never had to have patience like that with technology at the end of our fingertips.

The next few questions I asked were about neighbors. Jason and Pam have gotten to know their neighbors in every house they’ve ever lived in. My family knows our neighbors but not personally. When I asked what everyone could do to make things better for their neighbors, Jason immediately said “just talk to them. Encourage them.” He then talked about how you never know if other people are going through a hard time and how an encouraging word can go a long way. Pam then talked about doing little nice things. She mentioned that she loves to bake pies or pick flowers from her garden to take her to neighbors. After she told us that, I couldn’t help but encourage Pam to keep doing what she was doing because I thought those little acts of kindness were so awesome. Steve then mentioned that we had good neighbors. He told us that a couple weeks ago, he got a text from one of our neighbors that our pear tree had fallen into the road. Steve was on his way home at the moment and told our neighbor that he would be there shortly to take care of it, but when he got home, the tree was already moved out of the road and into our yard. He then told us that the way he thinks we can make things better for our neighbors is to “be present.” Steve and Kristy then talked about how they needed to do better and be more intentional to build relationships with our neighbors. Caity and I then talked about how our interactions with our neighbors have changed over the years. We used to go outside and play with the kids that lived next door, but once we entered middle school, we stopped talking to them altogether. There was a significant age difference between us, but we talked about how sad it is that they probably don’t even remember our names. Overall, everyone at the table agreed that you can’t say you’re there for your neighbors if you don’t know them.

One of the last questions I asked related to everyone’s jobs. Everyone assumed that their jobs related to their roles as citizens in that they help people. Kristy and Pam help patients get ready for surgery, Jason helps his company make checkout lanes, Steve helps stores and schools sell and serve bread, and Caity helps people buy shoes. However, when I asked if their jobs serve a greater purpose, responses were more hesitant. Altogether, they eventually all said that they did. Steve seemed to struggle with the question the most. He laughed when I first asked it but talked himself into thinking he does serve a greater purpose. “Well, people have got to eat,” he finally said.

I learned a lot during this meal, but the one thing that stood out to me most was that when people talk through it, they see that there’s more good in the world than they first thought. I assumed that as I asked these questions that I would get consistently negative responses about the state of our world today, specifically from Steve and Jason. I was shocked to hear all the positive things they had to say about citizenship, neighbors, and the state of our world in general. Another thing that stood out to me was everyone at the table, at some point in the dinner, mentioned something about needing to better – whether that’s being more positive at work, getting to know their neighbors, or making more informed decisions when voting. This didn’t necessarily surprise me. I fully expected for our conversations to somehow result in feeling like we need to change the way we live. I think that’s just what happens when people talk about the condition of our world today. We’re all aware of the problems, but when we come together and discuss how to change them, we realize that we can make change ourselves.

I walked away from my KKT with “The Snare of Preparation” by Jane Addams on my mind. Based on all the responses I got from my guests, I felt like they had the same mindset as Addams: they just need to do something. And I think that’s totally awesome. It’s one thing to sit in a classroom and talk about how we should talk about things to make change happen. It’s another thing to actually talk about making change happen. This dinner was a really unique opportunity and I appreciated my time with my guests and their vulnerability to share how they’ve been bad citizens. I think asking these questions impacted them far more than they thought it would. They began to seriously consider what they need to change so they can live well with their fellow citizens. I think that now, whether at the hospital or the shoe store or the farm or the grocery store, these workers are going to keep in mind that they are serving a greater purpose of helping people. I think that now these neighbors are going to be intentional to start (or continue) being present and encouraging those they live beside. I think that now these citizens are going to consider the character of the candidates they’re voting for, not just the political parties. I think that part of the answer to the question “how can we live well together?” is talking about how we can live well together – my KKT is evidence of that. What’s the most exciting thing about this dinner is the possibility that this spark in my guests could impact those they come in contact with every day, like Michael Pollan talks about in “Why Bother?” If everyone present at my KKT begins having citizen conversations with those around them, I may soon be living in a community of world changers.

 

By Gavin

On November 8^th 2018, I conducted my Kentucky Kitchen Table project. I chose to do this in my hometown which is a small city that consists of about two thousand people in its city’s limits located about an hour away from Bowling Green called Tompkinsville.

My dinner consisted of five people including myself. These people were Sara, Callie, Tommy and Glenna.

Tommy is my father whom has resided his entire life in Tompkinsville. He received his bachelor’s degree with a major in English from Western Kentucky University. He taught seventh grade English at Monroe County Middle School, was a principal at Gamaliel Elementary School, and now works at the Monroe County Board of Education. Tommy loves to spend time with his two sons and wife. Whether it be through raising tobacco, watching the kids play sports, or going to church, he likes to have fun in any activity that his family takes on.

Glenna is Tommy’s wife. Glenna is from Leitchfield, Kentucky and met Tommy while attending Western Kentucky University. She currently is the Family Resource Coordinator for two elementary schools and has been in this position for over fifteen years now. Like her husband, she too has been around the farm lifestyle her entire life and loves doing anything that involves spending time with her family.

Sara is a much younger and is the mother of a 4-month-old. She is a nearby neighbor who grew up in the urban area of Lexington, Kentucky and married a man from Tompkinsville. She graduated from the University of Kentucky and is currently a stay-at-home mom.

Callie is a relative of Sara who was staying at her house for the weekend. She is from Livingston, Tennessee and is still in high school. She is her senior class president and loves to go to the lake and spend time with her family and friends.

To get our meal started off, I asked the question “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” The responses were along the lines of the following:

Tommy- “I am a part that makes a community function, or part of a whole,”

Glenna- “Belonging to a community.”

Sara- “Being legally a part of something.”

Callie: “Being free in the land of America.”

From here we started to discuss how generally, people from a bigger city tend to have more liberal views on social issues. Sara has lived her entire life in a large, urban area and has much different political views than Tommy, Glenna, Callie, and me. We then moved into the conversation of Donald Trump and his tactics leading this country and even brought up our ideas on gay marriage and abortion. I believe this came up because we were also discussing our religious beliefs a tad and the two seem to be intertwined a lot in today’s society. Callie is younger than all of us and is very vocal about her political views and adores Donald Trump. Sara, on the other hand, cannot stand the presence of his name in a room.

This led me to ask another question, which was “In general, what type of person would you like to be?” Again, the answers are not exact, but somewhat along these lines:

Tommy- “An honest and thoughtful person.”

Glenna- “Kind and caring.”

Sara- “Neighborly.”

Callie- “A good Christian lady.”

Callie’s answers always seemed to amuse me. She is a very flamboyant person and makes sure everyone knows her views on everything. She is a very funny person and definitely an open book.

Through the entire dinner of our conversations, there were many topics that you could see the differences among everyone. When it came to anything political related, Sara was had many different views than the rest. Even though I may hate to admit this, I noticed that myself and Callie were the only two at the table that ever looked at our phones during the dinner. I thought this was relevant considering we were the only two teenagers at the table.

When I was scrolling through some conversation starters before the dinner, one that stuck out to me was the question that if the people at the table knew their neighbors. Tommy and Glenna have neighbors around but not directly beside them on either side of their property, so they have never made it a huge priority to get to know them. When Sara lived in Lexington, she resided in a subdivision where she knew most all of her nearby neighbors. They would jog together and come over for dinner sometimes. Callie does not have any close neighbors that she would trust to talk to, she concluded that most of them appeared to be on some type of drugs and were not people she would want to associate with. I thought this was interesting because people often stereotype those in large cities of just staying inside and not making an effort to know those around them. It stood out to me that Sara was actually the only one that had interacted with her neighbors on a personal level.

I never knew I could learn so much from a dinner at a kitchen table. I learned a lot from people I did not know before not only from hearing their thoughts on sensitive topics that they were open to willingly share, but I also learned a lot from paying attention to detail. Listening to thoughts from Sara that I barely knew before this conversation, and Callie whom I did not know at all, really opened up my eyes on how different people can be and view things. This may be related to where all of us grew up in our geographical location, but it is interesting to learn that we all live relatively within the same area and can still have very different views on so many things. I think this is one of the many beauties of living in the United States of America, things like this give us a chance to show our individuality and that most citizens can agree that we are blessed to live in this country.

During Honors 251 throughout this semester, I have learned many things about being a citizen in a community. Before this class, if someone were to ask me what being a citizen meant to me, I would have more than likely given the cliché answers like any other person would say. For example: voting, paying taxes, and all of the others that we often hear. Now, if someone were to ask me what my thoughts on being a citizen were, my answers would have much more of a broad range. One thing I have learned from this course is how to correctly have a conversation about sensitive issues without starting conflict. In class, we have discussed things that people have different views on and at the end of the day, everything is fine. I believe this has taught me skills about deliberating and even at the kitchen table, I had different views than some of those, but we still did not let this interfere with our composure we had with each other.

I can also see the conversations at the table relating to many readings we have read throughout this semester. When I think of a democracy or even just the government in general, I think of how I have responsibilities and a possibility of an impact on things. Many people do not fulfill their civic duties because they have the misconception that one person does not make much of a difference in issues that are so broad. I saw the resemblance of this while conducting my Kentucky Kitchen Table project. Coming to this realization reminded me of the article that we were assigned to read and discussed in class, The Energy Diet by Andrew Postman. In a quick summary, this article illustrates the idea that we must start small. One person may not have a relatively huge impact on being a citizen, but if multiple people come together in an act or anything of that matter, then the possibilities are limitless of what people can accomplish.

The question that arose to myself making this correlation was “Is there anything you can think to do that might make things better for you or your neighbors where you live?” I really did not know what type of answers to expect, but this was actually one act that everyone agreed on. Tommy, Glenna, Callie, and Sara all concluded that knowing people is power. The more people you know and the more connections you make, the more you will succeed. This is a group effort that relates to the topic of working together. They said that introverts typically do not succeed as much as extroverts, so it is important to know those around you. The Energy Diet says to start small. This may be one person having an idea and enticing others after that. Drawing more people in will get the movement or action more attention. You must start small, like changing a lightbulb in the article, then the end-product will be amazing because everyone has come together to accomplish one common goal.

This project was one that really opened up my eyes. It gave me a new perspective on ideas that I had never really considered and showed me that people can be very diverse and still have a common ground on certain things. From this project, I gained a tasty meal and a new viewpoint for many things.

By Mya

     My Kentucky Kitchen Table was at my mom’s house around our dining room table in my hometown of Murfreesboro, Tennessee on Friday November 2. Murfreesboro is the suburb of Nashville and therefore has an interesting mix of small town values and big city opinions. The area has changed dramatically in the past ten to twenty years, which has led to some changes in opinions or led to opinions even being held more dearly. My mother, Melinda, her friend and former co-worker, Monte, and my grandmother, Debra (who is not pictured as she arrived quite later – just how timing worked out) were at the dinner along with myself, Mya (who was taking the picture).
     Melinda is a middle school teacher mainly working with special needs and behavior cases and is a part time college professor. She has raised me as a single mother; we have a very strong relationship. My mother is more private with politics and political opinions; we only have conversations if I am asking questions or need help understanding something. She believes that while it is important to be informed, politics does not need to be an every day discussion with everyone. She loves helping students especially those who need it most. Melinda has her doctorate degree, and has done multiple grants including those that involved research.
     Monte used to work at the same school my mother does. Even though do not work in the same school anymore, they have continued their friendship. I have only met Monte a couple times and very briefly, so this was a great way to get to know her apart from her name and how she knew my mother. While currently teaching at another middle school, Monte is going to school to get her Masters degree. She also is an African-American woman, and thus has had different experiences compared to the rest of us at the dinner.
     Debra is my maternal grandmother. She grew up and still lives in Shelbyville, Tennessee, which is a small town just south of Murfreesboro. She is a retired school teacher; she mainly taught with elementary school students and English as a Second Language (ESL). She is very vocal politically. We have previously had multiple conversations about politics and the world we live in today, but this was the first time I entered a conversation with a specific question in mind.
     Besides the question dealing with class (which I will discuss later), one of the things we talked about how college was for me and how my mother’s and Monte’s jobs were going. Everyone at the table was somehow involved or formerly involved with the education system. Education is an important aspect in all of our lives. I went to a more privileged middle school and high school because it was a magnet school, yet the rest of the women at the table have taught or do teach at lower income schools. There is a vast difference in hearing the stories from their experiences. At the middle schools my mother and Monte teach at, it is common for students to have more behavioral and academic problems. It is not a matter of the students at my school being better, and the students at other school being worse. That is not the case. In hearing the stories, there is typically a recurring theme. The students in lower income schools generally have more difficult home lives such as parents are not often home because of work, lack of help with school in the home, and other responsibilities that can put school on the back burner. Some of these issues can also cause students to act out. While some parents try to excuse their child’s issues, many parents want to work with the school and the teachers to help the student succeed. There is also a greater amount of special needs students in the schools my mother and Monte work at. These students need unique care that is sometimes difficult to give them in a typical school setting and with the availability of resources (or lack thereof). My mother, my grandmother, and Monte all formerly or currently work everyday to help these students succeed in their academics and in their lives and overcome the difficulties they face. Talking to them at dinner gives me a new perspective each time I hear such stories because I am not only able to see how blessed I was and am but also am opened to the many different experiences and backgrounds that affect other people especially now since I am in college where the students and their backgrounds are diverse.
     At the table, we also discussed things we have been doing or are planning on doing outside of work and school. I enjoyed discussing about my experiences at football games, with friends, and in my sorority. My grandmother has taken trips, gone to do many things with her friends, and has done many house projects given she has the time since being retired. For my mother, she has been enjoying living on her own and taking time for herself. Monte and my mom have even gone to the farmers’ market in Nashville and to see plays in Nashville. Despite everyone having busy lives, we all agreed that having things to do that are relaxing and fun helps us better ourselves by creating an outlet for happiness.
     While the purpose of the Kentucky Kitchen Table is beyond the scope of one question, there was a required question – “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” – that had to be discussed. As someone who just turned eighteen this year and had not experienced paying taxes or voting, citizenship to me was already more than those. I explained how to me citizenship was supporting and acting towards bettering yourself, your community, and your country even if and when it is not always easy or when it is not something I agreed or approved of. Supporting to me does not mean just going along with every decision, but standing with people and having their backs even while trying to promote change. Citizenship to me also means if you see something going in the wrong direction to speak up and be a voice for change in whatever way (legally) that means for you.
     For my mother, citizenship meant actively participating in her community and being a part of something to make it better. Citizenship is having a role in society that leaves a mark even if that means just helping one individual; you help and you care. My mother believes one should be education on the topics that affect his or her life and should know beyond what the news or social media says before he or she forms a belief. She continually tells me that I can think and believe what I want, but I need to be able to know why I do. The skills and values she raised me with help me be an active citizen.
     Citizenship to Monte means being a part of your country in such a way that you give your opinions and your support. Citizenship involves being concerned enough about what’s going on in the country that you are willing and try to make changes when necessary whether that is through voting, petitions, or just individual actions. To Monte, citizenship on an individual level means being a good representation of your community and of your country. Citizenship also means actively helping fellow citizens; a theme that kept meaning mentioned during the dinner.
     For my grandmother, citizenship means having freedoms that she is able to enjoy in America such as the ability to vote, free speech, and freedom of religion. In America, we are able to be a part of a community that is able to live in each individual’s uniqueness. Citizenship is respecting and honoring the ability to have that freedom. A part of that means honoring the military and the flag. Citizenship also means appreciating the sacrifices that the men and women fighting for our freedoms have made. This is not because of agreement but out of respect. Citizenship and communities are built out of mutual respect for each other and the values we hold dear.
     This Kentucky Kitchen Table taught me how even people from different background and different generations can all connect through our citizenship. Each person believed that citizenship is one of the core values of America that brings us all together. We each demonstrate our citizenship in unique ways and hold different opinions, but at the end of the day we are Americans. We want to help improve our country and the lives of those in it. We want to be proud of our country and who we are. While our everyday lives focus more on who we individually affect and interact with, we take the time and actions to be involved in our communities and our country. During the dinner, as I tried to think how the conversation could relate to our readings, I remembered the stories “The Power of Patience” and “Why Bother”. The women at the table with me are helping teach and grow the children that will be deciding the future of our world. Each day they struggle trying to help these kids and sometimes it takes a toll, but every morning they get up and go to work. They bother to help and teach again and again. They have patience with the students and try to teach the students the skills they need to succeed such as patience and work ethic. Teachers and schools are some of the essential building blocks in making an individual into a citizen through skills, values, and education not only about academics but also about the world. Citizenship is more than just voting, paying taxes, and following laws; citizenship is built of what people do everyday to improve and help their lives, the lives they affect, and the communities they are a part of.

By Lily

My Kentucky Kitchen Table was hosted in Bowling Green Kentucky, on November 5th. A couple girls from my class, five sorority girls with some others popping into the conversation, and I all had a unique dinner squished around a small black table. We had to grab stools from another table in the house to fit all of us. Even though we were a group of college girls we came from different backgrounds and all have different thoughts and opinions. Our majors ranged from sciences to the arts. We came together from all over Kentucky and even from Nashville and our parents did different things while teaching us different values.

I am not in a sorority and never considered being in one because I felt like I wouldn’t fit in or I would be judged by them. My image of a typical sorority girl was a girl who judged people, was unkind and only cared about herself or her sorority sisters. However, the girls I talked to were all very sweet and happy to have me over. I am ashamed of myself for stereotyping all these nice girls. At the end of the night we all got to know each other, and I had a lot more fun than I thought I would. Although I still don’t think I’ll join the sisterhood, I will rethink the way I see their members.

It was a cold, windy night and the rain was pouring, so I was already uncomfortable and nervous. I was relieved to be out of the rain, but once I walked into the sorority house and saw all the girls gathered in the kitchen making spaghetti, I started to feel more relaxed. The dinner actually started before we even started eating. We were talking with each other while we were cooking and asking questions about each other’s days and what we were doing. While I was cooking we were all laughing and talking about the most random things. It was a great way to get the night started and break the ice.

Our dinner was not what you would call fancy. My classmates cooked spaghetti and meatballs, which is a great entrée, but the sides was where it got interesting. One girl brought garden grown green beans in a mason jar, and I made macaroni and cheese with a recipe from my mom. So our plates were made up of two pasta dishes and green beans, which was an interesting sight. There were also freshly baked brownies to close our meal. Even though the meal sounds strange everything was very good and was super fun to make.

The hardest part of the dinner was getting a good conversation started. The beginning of the dinner was more about getting to know everyone. When we first started asking questions we got short answers followed by some awkward silence. When we started eating however, people became more comfortable and open to the idea of talking more. This shows how the power of sharing a meal. It helps bring everyone together and you can’t argue and scream at each other with food in your mouth.

We asked everyone what citizenship means to you and we had answers from being a good neighbor to being a good person in general. A common theme going through the dinner was that no one had super strong opinions on politics in general. There were opinions for sure, they just weren’t very passionate about it. In today’s world it seems like everyone will be at each other’s throats about politics and every mention of the word turns into a heated argument, it was nice to have a calm chat about voting and running for office.

Social issues were a big topic at the dinner table. With the Me Too movement and lgbtq+ at the forefront. When politics did not get us invested, the problems that our loved one’s faced got the real conversation started. In order to solve a social problem you have to approach it from different angels. All of us agreed that there are many problems in America that need to be solved and they all cannot be solved by just politics. However, with the elections being the next day we were hopeful that we could start to make a change. In America, there are many ways to change the way people think for the better. There is never a time where you should give up hope. I think a great lesson to learn is that even if times are hard and problems cannot be solved, being positive and having  hope will get you through it.

One of the girls began talking about her trip to the English Isles and what a great experience it was. She learned about different cultures by actually visiting them. The people she talked about ranged from polite British people to a rude Scotsman. We then began talking about other places all of us wanted to go. We all wanted to go to different places for different reasons. Some wanted to go on vacation, while others wanted to know the culture. I’m so glad that all of us wanted to travel at least some part of the world. We began a very insightful chat about weather America was a blend of cultures or if we even have a proper culture. I believe that traveling is one of if not the best way to learn about the world. You can look things up and learn some things but once you experience it you know. Others agreed with this idea and thought that they learned a lot from their trip.

I learned that there is always new things to learn and new ways to grow. Most of the sorority girls were all upperclassmen and they seemed to know a lot about Bowling Green and Western Kentucky University. There was even a joke about how Bowling Green has so many restaurants. These girls were older and somewhat more mature, but they still were having fun eating ungodly amounts of mac and cheese. Their opinions on things were still looked at in a more mature way, with focusing on how people were effected rather than based on emotions. Some of these girls will be going into the workplace soon and I couldn’t be happier that there are good people who are going to be successful and make their mark on the world.

Family was brought up a lot at the dinner. Some of the girl’s families would always get together for a family dinner, while others only did it on occasion. It was clear that everyone at that table loved their family. We had stories of grandmothers fawning over their perfect granddaughters and mothers being strict yet kind. We had a couple of girls that believed they were put on this earth to be a mother. They wanted up to five kids and have a large, loving family to mother. While I get the sentiment, I don’t think I could handle more than two kids let alone five. It was interesting hearing why these girls wanted to start a family later in life. I learned why some people would want to have a large family.

Love and kindness to everyone was a popular discussion as well. With people saying to give food to the homeless and donating money to charities. We all agreed that everyone deserved some love and kindness no matter who or where they are. People having equal opportunities regardless of race, religion, gender, and sexual preference was very important to all of us. We talked briefly about money and how greed is something common yet very dangerous. We wanted jobs that are open to everyone and making sure people had at least what they needed to survive.

On the subject of economy most of us said that we would rather be happy than rich and some even said they could just be scraping by, but if they were happy, their life would be a success. We understood that money was very important, we also knew we didn’t need it to be happy. Including that greed can be detrimental to the enjoyment of your life. I the purpose of your life is to make money you are not actually living your life. Of course, our opinion can still change once we actually begin having to earn money and pay for things we need. However, the values we have about money are something we should think about.

All in all I learned a lot from this experience and made some new friends that I wouldn’t have talked to without having to do this project. I was taught by others how to have hope and to learn more about your environment. I also learned again to not judge a book by its cover. People throughout history have shared food as a way to bond, and I now know the power of cooking and sharing a meal. It’s an easy way to get people relaxed and open to sharing stories. I’m so glad this all happened over one simple meal together.

 

 

From left going clockwise: Brian, Emily, Kelsey, Laura, Eliza, and me. 

On Monday, November 5th, I went to a classmates home in Bowling Green for my Kentucky Kitchen Table Project. The dinner took place at Kelsey’s dining table in the kitchen, where we all ate chicken and dumplings, green beans, mashed potatoes, and rolls. In attendance were me, Kelsey, her parents, Brian and Laura, Eliza, and Emily. Each of us are honors students, but I had either never met or was not well acquainted with any of them. Kelsey attends Western Kentucky University and is majoring in Psychology. Her mother, Laura, is a psychologist at a local elementary school. Her father, Brian, works at Western Kentucky University. Eliza is in my Honors 251 section, but we were not well-acquainted prior to the dinner. She is from Duncombe, Iowa and is majoring in Psychological Science. Emily is from Evansville, Indiana, also attends Western Kentucky University, and is double majoring in English Literature and Spanish. The last guest was me, Shayla, also a freshman at Western Kentucky University who is double majoring in Dance and Biology.

The conversation began with the required question: Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you? Kelsey was the first to answer, saying that to her, citizenship is helping people around you and being kind. It involves lending help to others when they need it.  Laura said that citizenship to her was caring for each other and making a difference in people’s lives, to which Eliza added that it means going above what is expected and making an effort to help those that are struggling. Emily said that to her, citizenship is doing what we can to make our world a better place to live in through acts of service. Brian agreed, saying that citizenship to him was being an overall good person whois kind, caring, and generous. I added that citizenship to me relates to the central questions of the class, as it is about trying to live better with each other, helping to solve problems faced by society, and helping ourselves and others have as much say over our lives as possible.

The next question Kelsey brought up was: What do you think are the best things about our world today? Eliza said she liked how people in today’s world have a greater sense of community, or at least the people from her hometown. She then told a story of one of her best friends that had a rough family life. One night they were texting and she brought up how cold she was because her mom did not pay the bills and they had no heat. Eliza made her stay at her house that night, and she stayed for several days. Eliza said it was her first experience of a typical family life. Since then, her friends created a network of places she can stay at whenever she feels like. They give her a place to sleep, food to eat, and a sense of familial connection that she was lacking in all of her life. I added that I liked how far today’s world has come in the acceptance of other people’s differences despite still having a long way to go. While there is definitely still room for improvement when it comes to accepting all people, we have made big strides forward compared to even a decade ago. Emily liked how people today are kind to each other. She believes it is important to be that little bit of kindness in people’s lives because it can make a huge impact. Brian added that he liked how close-knit his community is and how they go out of their way to help each other out when needed. Kelsey chimed in that she likes how today’s world possesses faith and a hope for the future. She explained what she sees as the difference in faith and hope; faith to her is the belief in a higher power. She told us that she isa Christian and that it plays a large role in her life and the decisions she makes. To her, hope is assurance of the future or an expectation of how it will go. She believes that today, we have a hope for a better future and there are many people that are taking actions towards that expectation.

Kelsey then asked how we think our jobs/majors relate to our role as citizens. Kelsey was the first to answer, saying that her major was important to her role as a citizen because it involves helping others to be happier and more productive citizens. Eliza agreed, saying that her major also involves helping people better their mental health. She is very passionate about mental health and mental health awareness and wants to make a difference in people’s lives in that respect. Although she claimed to dislike science, so far she has been really enjoying all of her major-focused classes. Emily added in that her education major will contribute to educating the younger generation. She said that she has always loved English and Literature and knew this is what she wanted to study in college and have a career in. She told us about her old high school and how tough the curriculum was. Whenever she and her classmates would be having a difficult time, they could always confide in the teachers, and she wants to provide that for others in the future. When recently visiting her old school, she entered her old English classroom and immediately knew that is where she wanted to be. Laura answered next, telling us that her job as a school psychologist was all about improving the mental health of children in the community, which contributes to bettering the community both now and later. She then explained some of the hardships the children she works with go through, such as abuse and being aware of financial hardship.

The conversation then shifted to the privileges most of us have that we are unaware of and the hardships faced by a significant number of people even within our own community that we are, for the most part, oblivious to. The recent reading of “Seven Days of Heroin: This is What an Epidemic Looks Like” was brought up, and we briefly summarized it for Laura and Brian. Laura added that she works with many children that share a similar life, including a GAT student in the fourth grade who’s parent is in jail for drugs. He has started to have outbursts in class and can’t control his anger. We talked about how drug addiction not only affects the sufferer, but also the spouses, parents, children, siblings, family, and friends as well. Everyone agreed that the opioid epidemic is a huge issue, especially considering the number of deaths and overdoses recorded for the week were for only one city out of the entire country. The most shocking part of the reading to all of us was the mother who decided to recover when she found out she was pregnant. She was at a follow-up appointment for her baby, and they both seemed healthy and happy. However, only ten days after the appointment, the mother was dead from an overdose.  This only further validates the magnitude and urgency of the issue.

At one point, the conversation took a turn and Eliza somehow ended up discussing how she and her roommate bought hummus and pretzels, but they ran out of pretzels to eat the rest of the hummus with. In a perfect display of how to be a model citizen, Laura went to the pantry and came back with a bag of pretzels for Eliza, who was very grateful and happy.

My experience of attending a Kentucky Kitchen Table was nothing but positive. I got to know fellow classmates who, despite being very different, share many of the same interests as I do. The assignment related to what he have learned in Honors 251 because the questions asked could all be applied to the central questions and themes of the class, which are: How do we live better (or, at the least, less badly) together? How do we solve problems? How do we have more of a say over our lives? How do we help other have more of a say over their lives? We also mentioned topics pertaining to some of the readings from the class, such as the opioid epidemic readings and empathy readings. The conversation revolved around being a better citizen, which is the basis of the class. It was also great practice in deliberating, an important step in solving societal issues that we learned in class. I learned that sitting down with a group of people discussing things makes people more aware and open to other ideas, opinions, and experiences, even if they are conflicting. It proves that we could potentially make the world a much better place if more people took the time to listen and empathize with others. This assignment led me to a better understanding of what it means to be a model citizen.