(I had to be the photographer, so I am not in the picture.)

By Skyler

My Kentucky Kitchen Table meal took place at my home in Alvaton, Kentucky, a small community just outside of Bowling Green in Warren County. Overall, there were seven people at my meal, each of whom brought interesting experiences had a unique perspective on the questions we discussed while eating. I had immediate family, extended family, and an old friend from another university who I had not connected with in quite a while at my meal. My name is Skyler, and I am a sophomore at Western Kentucky University. I am majoring in biology and agriculture, with minors in land surveying and GIS. In addition to my studies, I work as a supervisor at an elementary after school program in the Bowling Green area. I also farm livestock of all sorts and raise a large garden alongside my father. Being a rather inexperienced chef, I picked up canned cranberry sauce and rolls for the meal. My father, Miles, is an auctioneer as well as a cattle farmer. He has spent his life on the farm, growing up working in his father’s slaughterhouse and raising livestock and crops, and now raising cattle himself as well as working as an auctioneer selling cattle auctions on a weekly basis and hosting other types of auctions from time to time throughout the year. We decided to have a Thanksgiving-like meal for this occasion, and Miles was responsible for cooking turkey as well as using his family recipe for dressing, something he particularly enjoys doing. My mother Tracie was also a part of the meal, and had some especially strong opinions and experiences on some of our discussions due to the 25 years she has spent as an elementary school teacher in Bowling Green. Tracie takes a lot of pride and joy in her role as a teacher. A self-proclaimed “city girl,” she does not always see eye to eye with my father and I on issues concerning our farm and other things of that nature. Tracie supplied vegetables for the meal, such as corn and green beans. Another participant in the meal out of my immediate family was Hayla, my nine-year-old little sister who is currently in fourth grade. Hayla was adopted by family out of foster care when she was a baby, and has been a perfect fit ever since. Hayla has a brilliant mind and strong views on the world for her age, and her contributions to the discussion were very valuable and interesting. She is a little actress, having been in over fifteen plays since she was five years old. This includes a recent starring role in the play adaptation of Pocahontas, where she played the lead role of Pocahontas herself. Her experiences with kids and adults of all ages and backgrounds in her theater community has led her to branch out and hold some very interesting views on life that differ quite a bit from my own. With the help of our mother, she made a cake for our dessert.

My grandparents came up all the way from Florida for this meal. They are permanent residents of the sunshine state now that they are retired, and we do not get to see them very much anymore. My grandmother, Jennifer, is my mother’s mother. She retired from WKU as an employee of the Preston Center, and worked many other jobs throughout her career. My grandfather, Bobby, is a retired electrician who worked for others and ran his own company. He is now an avid golfer and fisherman, taking advantage of the warm Florida weather. They are both strong conservatives with heavy interest in politics, which differs quite a bit from my immediate family who are much more moderate. Finally, my friend from the University of Kentucky, Kirsten, came down for the meal. Kirsten is an old friend of mine from high school, as well as a neighbor who lives somewhat close by. I have hardly talked to since going to college nearly two full years ago, as she lives year around in Lexington now. She is a sophomore and a member of the Delta Gamma sorority at UK, and is an avid football fan. She is originally from Nashville, TN, and she has traveled throughout much of the country with her dad, who works selling apparel at sporting events and many other various things. She is a business and marketing major at UK, and her experiences and views on things are quite different from anything my family has. She brought another very unique perspective to the dinner table. Her college experience has been vastly different from mine as well. Kirsten brought an excellent hashbrown casserole to the meal. I had another guest set to attend, a student of mine in the after school program who came to America from Vietnam a bit over two years ago, however he fell ill and was unable to attend.

We had some great discussion throughout our meal, beginning with one main question: “What does citizenship mean to you?” Each person at the table had an answer for this, and they all varied quite a bit. My grandparents Bobby and Jennifer felt that citizenship leaned more towards the political side of things, including exercising your rights that are granted by the Constitution in America. Bobby, a gun collector, emphasized that he felt his right to bear arms was one of many rights that played a big part in his definition of citizenship. Jennifer was also quick to mention that while these rights are a huge part of citizenship to her, they must not be abused and misused. Peace and equality were two factors that they both said should play into our rights, and while they admitted these two things were not where they felt they should be in today’s world, they did not back down from the importance they placed on their own rights. Bobby added that without the rights he has here in America, he would be rather move abroad because Constitutional rights are what makes being a citizen in this country better than others. My mother Tracie took on a different perspective, instead choosing to emphasize her role as a teacher to model her definition of citizenship. Tracie feels that being a citizen includes doing what you can to take care of others, and to be a positive role model for all and be kind to others. She mentioned how she views her role as a teacher as a way to make a positive impact on kids that could perhaps last a lifetime, and she feels she is doing her duty as a citizen by being there for her students each and every day. My father Miles, a quiet individual despite his occupation of auctioneering, did not say much, however he added that he felt sticking to your word and being honest, as well as helping out others in need is a big part of citizenship. He said that being there for our neighbors for little things like there cattle getting out while they’re on vacation as well as for the big things, like taking over their farm operations as they recover from a heart attack, is a big part of being a citizen. I personally feel the same way, and I added to his definition by emphasizing my passion for helping others as a part of what citizenship means to me. Being there for whoever needs me, and helping even strangers, makes me happy and it’s something that I try to do every day of my life. My little sister Hayla had a lot to say about this question, and while a lot of it was rambling and her wild imagination, she did say that citizenship to her meant getting along with everyone and treating them well, no matter how different they were from you. She attributed this to her acting director, who instills this value in them on a daily basis. Kirsten also had a slightly different take on the matter. She leaned more towards the political side of things as well, however she has more liberal views in comparison to my grandparents. She stated that being a citizen meant having your rights, but also having the right to feel safe. She challenged Bobby on his gun stance, and they had a peaceful and fascinating discussion on the subject. If everyone deliberated the subject the way they did, perhaps some solutions could be reached that could appeal to everyone.

While that question was the main topic of discussion, we also went into how religion plays a part in our lives. My immediate family and I are strong Christians, and this plays a huge part in how we live our daily lives and how we see our roles as citizens. Bobby, Jennifer, and Kirsten on the other hand are Christians, but they do not regularly attend church and they do not really practice the religion to a very great extent. We had a great discussion about our faiths, as well as other faiths that we encounter on a near daily basis. We came to a general conclusion that religion has always played s a big part in people’s lives, and it will for a long time to come. We also discussed many other questions related to citizenship and our own views on life in general. I learned a lot about everyone, and was surprised to learn a lot of previously unknown stuff about my own parents and little sister!

One topic we did address that had some intense conflicting views was immigration. Bobby and Jennifer, as well as my father Miles and friend Kirsten, felt that immigration is a huge problem in America that needs to be stopped. Bobby felt especially strong about tightening down on immigration. My mother Tracie and I work in a local elementary school with kids from over thirty different countries, and the experiences they’ve had are shocking and at times disturbing. We have met children who have ran from war, who have been shot at and had their homes destroyed. We have met children of all backgrounds. These experiences have given us a completely different view on immigration. I pointed to a book, Exit West by Mohsin Hamid. I detailed how these people in the book ran from such horrible terrors in their home country, only to find hostility and danger in supposed safe places as well. I have seen firsthand that this happens every day in real life, and those people are right here in my own city, in a school that I work at each and every day. At one point in the book, the characters are being threatened by military in London, after having already run from war at home. I detailed this part to the rest of the table, telling them that these people are here in our country, and instead of being hostile towards them, we should accept them and help them however we possibly can. I do this by donating food to the pantry at the elementary school I work at, and mentoring the kids who have immigrated. Tracie does the same each and every day. I told the others at the table that by accepting these people, we can live better together, just as we have discussed in Citizen and Self class. Hostility towards them does nothing in my opinion. They have already been through things we cannot imagine, so we must help them I believe. I think that may have swayed the others at my table to believe this as well, or at least I hope that I did.

Overall, this was a wonderful experience. It’s not often that you get to sit down and have these meaningful discussions in today’s world. If people could do this more, and deliberate more peacefully, I believe the world might be in much better standing today. I have learned that conflicting views can coexist peacefully, and that discussion and deliberation is perhaps the ultimate tool we have at our disposal for this.

Fort Thomas, KY – March 31, 2018

My family isn’t one that often finds itself eating around the dinner table. As a child, we would eat every dinner in the dining room, but as us kids grew up, we found ourselves less and less able to congregate each night around the dinner table. We had play practice, band rehearsal, baseball games– we were getting involved and being busy, but missing out on human connection each night.

That is why I was so excited to host Kentucky’s Kitchen Table in my hometown with not only my siblings and father, but my aunt, uncle and their children from McMinnville, TN, in town for the Easter holiday.  I invited everyone over with the primary intent to conduct this project of healthy deliberation, but secondarily to catch up. Being away at college, I had lost touch with my aunt and uncle’s family in particular,  but also didn’t get to see my family as much so this was needed.

My two sisters are pictured next to my dad, from left to right Maria and Claudia. Maria is a senior in college at Northern Kentucky University majoring in Education– my mom is a teacher and she is following in her footsteps. She is a relatively liberal person regarding politics, but a devout Christian and loves to travel and be involved. Claudia is a sophomore in college also at Northern Kentucky University, also majoring in Education– that’s why we say Maria and Claudia are two peas in a pod. She is also liberal and Christian, but has a louder opinion on things and isn’t afraid to put it how it is. She brought steamed carrots and vegetables.

Claudia brought her friend Annalee, whom I had never met. She is also a sophomore in college at, guess where? Northern Kentucky University (seems like I’m the only one who got out of the NKY Bubble). But she, unlike Maria and Claudia, is majoring in physical therapy. She, while also devoutly Christian, is a strong conservative and a wide supporter of Trump. They collaborated on a nice pan of brownies– a college student staple, just need a box mix, eggs, oil, and water.

Then we have my father, a staunch rejecter of partisan politics who is an avid believer in person over politics, i.e. voting based on who they are, not what they stand for. He is currently a history teacher at my high school, which made for some fun AP U.S. History, but at least I passed. He made the ham and let me say, the man can cook.

My aunts and uncle, Theresa and Tom, coming from Tennessee really embody the stereotype of the American South. They are devout Baptists, staunch conservatives, and believers in a free America where the government has no intervention on their lives. Their kids, Keegan and Ellie, are 15 and 22 respectively, with Keegan being just a freshman in high school, and Ellie graduating from Vanderbilt University in May. They brought deviled eggs, a bold choice considering the 6 hour drive from Tennessee to Northern Kentucky.

To begin, after we had gotten our plates, I started with a basic question: How does everyone feel about America right now, in any capacity? This included politics, social rights, economy, and even the weather.

My sisters both agreed that the political climate wasn’t conducive to anything productive; my dad agreed that the geographical climate was not conducive to being able to go outside– how’s that for parallelism? My dad said that he tried to look at things in a positive way because of his near-death experience as a child when he got into a car crash that put him in a coma for days.

My sister’s friend Annalee spoke highly of Trump’s economic stimulation and job creation, and my aunt and uncle openly agreed. Their daughter Ellie agreed with my sisters. Keegan tried to steer clear of the conversation regarding politics altogether, the ham took up enough of his time. This conversation heightened in intensity due to both sides refusing to listen to the other.

This first question brought up an important part of this project by revealing a notion in American politics– side taking. People were quick to polarize into liberal or conservative and were not willing to meet in the middle. The only other facet of beliefs was those who didn’t want to get involved. I believe that in American politics today, this is the case with the general populace. People are either very strongly one side, or do not want to talk about it at all. This is reasoning behind why American politics is at a lag at this point in time, and reason enough for me to change the subject.

I decided to next ask a question that would foster positive deliberation. “What do you think are the best things about our world today?”This was a turning point in the night’s conversation. For once, answers generated laughs and smiles. I started by saying I loved the dedication in the world to finding solutions, whether it be a cure to cancer or ocean cleanup.

A few responses that stood out included Annalee’s, who said the best thing is people fighting for what they were passionate about, echoing movements such as #MeToo and March for Our Lives, largely ideologically liberal movements. It was surprising that she said that, especially after discussing politics passionately had just erupted a few minutes prior. But it was a step in the right direction to see someone stuck up in their own beliefs finding a bipartisan way to support positive movements.

My aunt Theresa’s answer surprised me in a way that disrupted positive conversation. She said that the best thing in the world was Trump’s administration because it was giving her community jobs after having a high unemployment rate. I was perfectly fine with  her supporting him, but we were baffled that that was really the best thing to her. This taught me that some people are polarizing not just because they are passionate, but because they believe everyone else is wrong. That mindset killed this question, but brought up a good point about how different people see politics.

My penultimate question was “Have you ever had a conversation with someone from a really different background than yourself?” I was interested to see responses, considering that my aunt and uncle stem from relatively homogeneous areas of the nation.

My sister Maria started by saying she had never met an international student until she came to college when she joined an International Student Coalition and broadened her mind to people who were different than her, both refugees, immigrants, and people working here on visas.

My cousin Keegan finally chimed in, saying he has a friend whose mom died. This was another facet in that backgrounds can be different in many ways. Like Keegan’s friend, you could have a traumatic event that not many have to experience that shapes you as a person, but you could also simply be from a foreign nation. I was really proud of Keegan for sharing this emotional information, even if it was just his friend. Both change you as a person and open up the minds of others to either how good they have it or how their life differs from others.

Lastly, I decided to close on a unique note, that could have no political repercussions: “What kind of person do you want to be?” This was purely personal and required introspection, so I was intrigued to see how this group handled it.

My dad joked that it was too late for him to aspire to be someone, he was who he was. I liked that he was open about it, but I spoke up that we can always improve ourselves as our lives shape us in new ways, and he seemed to agree. Ellie’s response was something that summed up the night well. She said not just a good person, but a person who loves deeply and puts her relationships as a priority. This was truly what we all wanted– to put aside our differences and love each other as a sister, brother, mother, father, or cousin.

Overall, I learned that everyone’s lives are colored differently, based on experience. Theresa loved Trump because it had a direct impact on her in a positive way, my dad handled situations in a funny manner because he has a true zest for life after almost losing it. All opinions were valid because they weren’t just stances, they were personal. I learned to see everyone as human and their beliefs as legitimate (even when I disagreed).

As it relates to Honors 251: Citizen and Self, this project showed the value in healthy deliberation, and getting deliberation back on track when it derails. As Kevin Melville noted, when we engage in aggressive, unhealthy discussion, we undermine democracy and do not stimulate new ideas. This project was a prime example of both good and bad deliberation, the bad being political feigning and the good being digging into our morals and recovering. Deliberation is the key to opening minds and when we introspect, we find that our beliefs are personal to us, but can be changed with empathetic conversation that encourages disagreement. We all broadened our minds and became closer as not only people with political beliefs, but family (yes, even Annalee who was a stranger before).

By Liz

The Setting + People:

My “Kentucky Kitchen Table” dinner took place on March 31, 2018, in my paternal grandmother’s home just outside of Lexington, KY. The meal was mostly graciously prepared by my grandmother, who insisted upon cooking as it is one of her most favorite hobbies and she has always loved having people over. She prepared chili, pimiento sandwiches, and provided many clementines. To help out, I roasted sweet potatoes and Brussel sprouts and baked cupcakes (which I unfortunately forgot to take a picture of). Including myself, our dinner party had eight attendees. To open the recap of the conversations that took place at the meal, I will first introduce each one of the attendees.

My name is Liz and I am currently a junior mathematical economics major at Western Kentucky University with minors in finance and business administration.

My grandmother, Sue, is 72 years old and is from Paris, KY. She ran farms for most of her life, both in Paris and in Syracuse, New York. She retired 15 years ago from a Butternut bakery in Winchester and now lives in a house right across the street with my wonderful step-grandfather.

My grandfather, Gary, is 81 years old and he is from Indiana where he was one of 12 siblings. He is retired now as well, but he managed bread delivery routes when he was still working and met my grandmother when he was briefly my father’s boss, and they hit it off. They’ve been married since about five years before I was born and have always been very involved in mine and my sister’s lives; we honestly couldn’t have asked for better grandparents. Also, before moving on, I must mention that both of my grandparents in attendance are very religious and involved in a local church and their faith is very important to them.

My little sister, Shannon, is 18 years old and will be graduating high school this year. She has played soccer her whole life as I did, but unlike me she will be playing college soccer for Campbellsville University starting in the fall. She is very sarcastic, but she is smart and has a very good heart.

My mother, Anita, is 49 years old and is from Bath County, Kentucky. She grew up in a low-income home for most of her life and was put out by her divorced parents once she graduated high school and has had to essentially fend for herself ever since. This adversity has made her strong, and she can be very fierce and set in her ways. She currently works very hard alongside my dad in the bread distribution business to meet and exceed our family’s needs and wants.

My father, Bill, just turned 52 and is a very kind-hearted man who has worked in the bread distribution industry his whole life. He went to college for a while when he was younger, as all of his siblings and step siblings did, but had to drop out during his second semester due to a tragic car accident that left in the hospital for over a month. He is often the calm voice of reason to my mother and is very thoughtful and caring.

My boyfriend, Andrew, is 27 years old and was born and raised in Winchester. His father is a preacher and his family is very religious. He always went to private Christian schools growing up, and played baseball for Asbury University in college, where he studied business. He now works full-time at a warehouse selling various electronic equipment as a desk sales representative in the office. He is a very warm and kindhearted guy, and always looks for the best in people and things around him.

Finally, my neighbor Mackenzie also attended the dinner. Although she has been my neighbor for as long as I can remember, I have never really gotten to know her very well due to the gap in our ages. She is sixteen years old and attends my old high school, where she is a competitive swimmer. She got into swimming about 8 years ago and it has consumed her life ever since. She loves the water and even got her first primary job as a lifeguard so she could be near the pool even when she wasn’t at practice. She had many interesting insights that I never would have seen coming from her throughout this dinner. I am grateful that this experience has helped me see more of who she really is.

Our Conversation:

I opened our dinner conversation by asking the required question, “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?”. My father answered by saying that it meant he had the opportunity to be whatever he wants to be, and everyone agreed. I asked my grandfather what citizenship meant to him next, and he described it as “the hottest commodity America has to offer” due to the fact that so many people attempt to immigrate into our country on a daily basis. This struck a nerve within the group, and began a fierce discussion (or, better put, a rant) about immigration, the right and wrong ways to go about it, and moral and ethical issues with treating illegal immigrants leniently. My mother especially tried to dominate this topic. She had to deal with them a lot while managing a local greenhouse; with all of the frustrations that arose with background checks failing, false social security I.D.s, and troubles that occasionally arose with legal liabilities, my mom has become rather bitter towards immigrants who do not achieve legalization. My neighbor stayed quiet throughout this discussion; I had the idea that she was more sympathetic towards immigrants and was afraid to express her dissent to my older family members. My grandparents and parents then began talking about how they felt that Americans have become really and abnormally patriotic and protective over their citizenship since 9/11, and that they agreed with the movement and they were all proud to be an American.

The next question I asked once the previous discussion had lulled a bit was whether or not my fellow attendees believed we have obligations to other people in our country and/or in our community. I phrased this as “do we owe our neighbors anything?” at a point which got a laugh out of the group as we looked at Mackenzie and Shannon shot a joking “no” at her as Mackenzie blushed. Moving to a serious note, my parents quickly asserted that we do not owe anything to anyone, per se. Everyone agreed that it should be a “goodness of heart” thing, as my father put it, as opposed to something that is required of you. However, everyone at the table agreed that you should morally help as many people as you can, especially if they have helped you, but once again the decision to do so should be left entirely up to the individual. I then brought up the video we watched in class about the Chinese toddler getting hit by two large vehicles and people passing by her and not helping. This drew a strong reaction as everyone was horrified at the thought of the event. Shannon and Mackenzie did not even believe me that it had really occurred, at first. The attendees then, essentially as a group, backtracked a little and agreed that in certain extreme circumstances such as this one, you really should be obliged to help. My grandfather then interjected and concluded that America is by far one of the most charitable countries and that we should work to maintain that reputation as being a good and moral country, whether we are technically obliged to or not.

I then prompted the dinner’s attendees to reflect on a time when they’ve had a conversation with someone from a different background. Andrew was the first to pipe up, talking about how he took a chance and moved in with a guy from work that he didn’t know very well named Zach. Zach was a marine and has had vastly different life experiences than Andrew, but somehow, they have been able to make it work and have grown very close since moving in together. My grandpa then began talking about a time when he was still supervising bread routes and was tasked with training African American individuals in a ghetto area in Cincinnati. He said there were many difficulties at first because many of them couldn’t add very well and they had a very different vernacular language from what he was used to. By working with them for years, however, my grandpa learned to work with them much better and said they learned a lot from each other. My grandma brought up a story about when she moved to New Jersey and people would follow her and make appointments specifically with her so that they could hear her Southern accent. My mom finally concluded with a humorous story about her interactions with my step-aunt Debbie, who is a licensed and well-renowned psychologist who cried when she first met my mom due to being distressed about my mother’s “obvious emotional baggage”.

The response to the final prompt was intriguing. When I asked the group what they thought the best thing about the world today is, I was answered with a long pause. The pause was finally broken when my father said “oh, that’s a hard one.” As sad as it is, no one had anyone to say right off and this prompt really seemed to stump them. My father then answered “freedom”, and Mackenzie soon after added about how amazing it is that countries more easily work together to do amazing things, such as search for cures for cancer and provide humanitarian relief to those in need. My grandfather then acknowledged missionaries’ great work spreading love and the word of God to people around the world. My father believed the best thing to be that he has his own little world, gesturing to everyone at the table, and that was enough for him. My favorite answer, however, was my grandmother’s. She stated simply that the greatest thing about the world was that beautiful things are free. This started a warm conversation about the little things we experience every day that are so beautiful and don’t cost us anything, such as hearing the laugh of a friend or watching the sun set. Andrew then concluded that we all have so much living in the circumstances we do, but we take it all for granted and we should all focus on being thankful more.

Reflection:

This conversation undoubtedly relates to the themes we have discussed in HON 251 this semester, especially to our theme of “how do we live better (or, at the least, less badly) together?”. I think it very important to hear from a variety of perspectives when considering an issue, whether that variety is coming from differing experiences, age, socioeconomic statuses, etc. There are many things I learned from this conversation that I would not have been aware of previously, such as the notion that patriotism has increased and shaped American thought since 9/11 (which, being so young when it happened, I had no real way of comparing the way things were before to how they are now) without the insights of my older family members.

I also saw our class reading, “If It Feels Right,” come into play in this conversation. Although many of the people in attendance had differing views on some issues, they all ultimately agreed that what mattered the most to them was their “own little world” and they felt that the best thing they could do in life would be to take decisions day-by-day and to just do whatever feels right and makes them feel like they’re bettering the world a little bit whenever possible.

by Claire Smith

The Landscape

Pulling up this semi-circular, pebbled driveway was not a new experience. The group of people chittering within the average house, on an average street, in an average little city named Bowling Green, Kentucky were not people unfamiliar to me. In some aspects, I attend a Kentucky Kitchen Table once a week. I eat a meal with these people once a week, if not more, to discuss life, and what we believe, and how we can believe it better by living it out, hopefully making the world look a bit more like heaven in the process. In many ways, this is exactly the purpose of Kentucky Kitchen Table, and is strangely parallel to the central questions of Honors 251.

The People

The individuals around my table are my church community group. We range from 18 (me, the youngest), to a couple with deeply graying hair, who chose not to disclose their age. Their names are Mike and Karen (Karen is only pictured in the annoyingly close selfie I took at the bottom of the article). They are kind and quiet; conservative, and always generous, with time, with their home, and with their resources. They sweetly offered to host for the project, just as they host us every week for dinner, coffee, and dessert. Sherry is our ray of sunshine; she is an accountant, and generally wants everyone to love everyone else, rarely stating strong opinions. She often tries to smooth things over when our resident feminist, Casey, gets riled up. Casey is delightfully passionate. She in her twenties, and is a certified doula, or midwife. Katie U. is a short, muscular person who works as a dietitian. You can tell from her appearance that she knows what she is talking about; she is her own proof and pathos. Joe and Katie S. are newly-ish-weds in their mid-twenties. Joe does something no one really understands called information security auditing reports, and Katie S. is a freelance photographer, though their desire is to one day work internationally within our church community. Sarah helps lead the WKU campus ministry CRU, and is the most personable human I have ever met, and one of the best storytellers. Paige, our final member, manages Vertical eXcape, the climbing gym off of Nashville Road. She is quiet, always planning out what she wants to convey before sharing.

The Vittles

Instead of attempting to coordinate the food or coming up with a theme, I just asked everyone to bring something. We ate homemade guac and beans, some cold pasta with peas in it, sweet tea, catalina taco salad, and rose-banana muffins, which was just as eclectic as I was hoping for. The food worked, in a weird way.

The Conversation (IE, Deliberation in Disguise)

I began with the required question, asking what citizenship meant to each individual, and mostly received blank stares. After some prompting, several were candid, saying they were not in the habit of pondering citizenship. Joe argued on the relativity of citizenship for awhile, and we eventually reached the conclusion of freedom, but the topic did not quite take off as I had hoped. People skittered off into tangents all around me, and I attempted to reign the conversation in. I asked what the best part of the world today was, and not a single answer was given in response. When that question also floundered, I went around the table and asked what each individual was most passionate about with regards to a social issue. Katie U. and Paige both discussed the environment, especially state parks. Paige wanted nature to be preserved for citizens to enjoy, and there has been some discussion on whether state parks should be maintained or downsized. It was important to maintain the parks because of quality of life, which can fall under the category of “living better together.”

Casey immediately began informing me about something we have discussed in Honors 251, but only briefly. She talked about how in Kentucky, doulas, or midwives, were often unable to find jobs, despite certification. It is preferable for expectant mothers to have a nurse who calls herself a midwife, certified or not. What Casey expressed frustration with was the American obsession with professionalism, a social issue I had not even known was a problem before 251. Despite being entirely competent, many like Casey in various fields cannot get a job without a degree, regardless of their experience.

Joe, Katie S., and Sarah all talked about fostering and adoption. Joe brought up the need for internal adoption. He gave the disclaimer that international adoption is still important, but also pointed out that there is a vast government ward, full of children who desperately need stability. His wife elaborated, and put forth options such as adopting through fostering. Fostering and adopting ties into 251 by giving others more of a say in their own lives, by providing stability and love in situations where neither would normally be provided.

When I came to Mike, Karen, and Sherry, I was not sure I was going to have much of a conversation, due to their political stance (conservative) and their age. They ended up sharing lots of insights, especially Mike. Mike’s social issue was, surprisingly, the accessibility of pornography. He rattled off statistics, and then struggled to come up options to protect children from viewing and becoming addicted. I noticed Mike wanted governmental action on this front, and when I brought up the freedom of speech, which implies freedom of media, he was frustrated, because he brought up “lazy parenting.” I liked that Mike brought this subject up, because it is an under-addressed problem, and in comparison to what legislature is coming up with now for children, such as cafeteria cup sizes, child addiction seems much more pressing, and helping children avoid or escape such a situation helps them have more of a say in their own lives.

I then asked if the state of freedom in America had changed since they were younger. We had a wonderful conversation; Karen and Sherry talked about how as time had gone on, the term tolerance had become prevalent, and how its principles had severely impacted their freedom. Their convictions were frowned upon, and often they felt that being a conservative was wrong somehow because of the backlash they received from individuals on the liberal end of the spectrum. We talked about how tolerance had evolved from unwilling acceptance to mandatory celebration of an issue one may not support. I think that this could potentially be argued as an encroachment on people’s say in their own lives, but it is a tangly topic.

The Results

One thing I learned from KKT was that I constantly am having informal deliberations, in the disguise of conversations. People have opinions, and they have fierce devotions and convictions.

Things got a little bit indignant and heated at one point in the conversation, and I did not attempt to moderate it. I think it was good for this individual to just have at it; sometimes, as citizens, we do not realize that we have a platform- (or we do… Facebook abuse). Those around us, friends, family, are our platform. Sometimes, we do not realize that we can go beyond being passionate or having opinions because we do not have any power, any special training for that kind of thing. But democracy is not about professionalism! Several of our first presidents did not even attend college, for crying out loud. It is a deception that citizens have to deal with if they want to have a say in how their country is run, one that is widespread and that has lead to a plague of complaining and online tirades. The person who exploded a little bit was like a real life Facebook tirade, unaware that they could DO something to change what they wanted to change.

Though much of the things I was able to discuss with these individuals was not new to me, I liked getting to talk to Casey about midwifery. It was fascinating to hear about her passion for natural birth and how it could help both the mother and children. I loved getting to hear Mike verbally fighting for kids whose parents may not always protect their “little eyes,” and challenging him on how he, not the government could help. That was certainly not something I would have done outside of the context of this project; I felt as the “administrator” or “proctor” that I was able to ask deep questions, questions that people wouldn’t normally answer. The veneer of the term project really opened people up to discussion. This makes me wonder; if deliberation, as discussed in “How We Talk Matters” became a part of this country, the way jury duty or voting was, as a civic responsibility, how many avenues of communication would open? How many solutions would meld from different minds? Especially when placed in a context grander than “project’- now the title is “democracy.”

Though the night took place in an average house, on an average street, in an average little city named Bowling Green, I have no doubt that this “average” has the power within itself to leverage beams and bricks and ideas and legislature and education and deliberation and voting into a bridge; perhaps we will reach the other side one day.

By Hope

After hearing about the Kentucky Kitchen Table assignment all semester, I was excited to try this with my own family and friends, and to see what conversations and ideas would surface. I held my Kentucky Kitchen Table last Sunday (March 25^th) at my home in Muhlenberg County, Kentucky. In attendance were my mom (Beth), my mom’s friend from work (George), my great-uncle (Richard), my great-aunt (Becky), a member of my church (Hilda), my grandmother (Connie), and myself (Hope). Although the meal was held at my home, everyone contributed to the meal. Beth fixed BBQ, Connie fixed most of the side items, and everyone brought a small plate or dessert to make a nice potluck meal.

I was a little bit nervous about how this meal would progress because I knew coming into it that I would have opposing views around the table. For instance, Beth has been involved in elementary education for 30 years and is more liberal-minded, while also being very religious. Connie is a retired elementary school librarian, and is more conservative-thinking and very religious. Becky and Richard both work in art, are very liberal-minded, and are not religious. I did not know George and Hilda very well before this dinner, but through conversation, I learned that Hilda is a world-traveler, sees herself as “middle-of-the-road” politically, and is religious. In addition, George worked in legislation and higher education, sees himself as a progressive liberal, and believes in a higher power while not attending a formal church. Lastly, I am a college student pursuing an arts degree, and I consider myself to be more liberal-minded and religious. Before the meal began, Connie led us in prayer. Although we all held hands and remained quiet during Connie’s words, I observed that Becky and Richard did not bow their heads and kept their eyes open during the prayer.

I began the conversation by encouraging everyone to be open and honest with their discussion and beliefs, and saying that it was okay if we didn’t agree on a certain topic. I started with the question about what citizenship meant to everyone beyond voting, paying taxes, etc. Beth began the talkback by answering that she felt citizenship was about “leaving the world a better place than the way she found it”. Everyone seemed to think this was a good way of putting it. Connie said that she agreed, and she felt that being a good citizen meant helping others and just being a good person. I noticed a lot of nodding. As we went around the table, everyone had pretty similar answers to this question.

Seeing how the concept of treating others well kept coming up, I decided to ask how one’s religious or spiritual identity relates to how we should treat others and how that ties back to citizenship. Hilda answered that she felt a majority of her actions were influenced by God. She said she felt like God is the one who “taps on her conscience” and tells her how to treat others. Becky said that she disagreed, and she felt that you don’t have to necessarily believe in God to know when to do the right and wrong thing. She explained that just because she isn’t religious, does not mean that she treats people badly. Richard followed up by explaining that he agreed with Becky, and he does things just because he thinks they are right or wrong. As tensions were rising around the table, George said that he could see truth in both sides, and while he thinks one can know the right or wrong thing without believing in God, God can work in a person’s life and influence them to do things that they wouldn’t normally do.

As George said this, I couldn’t help but think about the Jonathan Haidt reading. As George answered the question, he acknowledged that he could see truth in both sides and then gave his opinion. I thought this was a good way of “talking to the elephant,” even though he may not have been consciously aware of it. By saying this, he used the other’s intuition to keep the peace and avoid an argument.

After this question, I tried to lighten the mood and ask about what they loved most about living in Muhlenberg County, Kentucky. George began the conversation by saying that he grew up in Detroit where he noted that segregation and discrimination against African Americans was very noticeable. However, he now lives beside an African American family and feels that his neighborhood is quite diverse and accepting. Beth chimed in by saying she loved the fact that this area is rural and everyone knew her name, or at least her family. In addition, if she were to have a flat tire on the side of the road, she knew someone would stop and help her.

Furthering this topic, I asked what they liked most about the world today. Richard said that he felt new generations were very accepting and he loves seeing the progress we’re making in terms of equality and tolerance. I explained that I loved the advancements we’re making with technology, and I feel that much of this tolerance is coming from the world being connected and people gaining familiarity with people different than themselves. Connie said that she was very happy about the advancements of medicine and science. She said that she wished she had the opportunities growing up that I do now to make a difference in the world through technology and more general open-mindedness.

After this, I decided I wanted to see how different the people around my table really were and ask them about what social issues were closest to their heart. Some answers included equality, gun reform, the feminist movement, job creation, the LGBTQ movement, etc. We elaborated on each of these issues and somehow the topic of gun-control kept coming up over and over again. The March for Our Lives was the day prior, and I think it was just on everyone’s minds. Beth and I had attended a protest the day before, so I decided to ask everyone what they thought about the issue and the protests. Similar to our class deliberation, there were some opposing viewpoints. Becky, Richard, George, and Beth were very anti-guns and were very much in support for heavy restrictions of almost every kind. On the other hand, Connie and Hilda grew up with guns in their households and were supportive of light to moderate restrictions. However, much like our class deliberation, everyone around the table could agree that our country needs more background checks, mental-health screenings, and a ban on assault weapons.

While I was observing this conversation, I noticed that no one could come up with a “right” answer that would solve everyone’s problems or concerns with the issue; however, we could all at least agree on a few things. This reminded me of our class discussions on various wicked problems and how deliberating these issues is less about finding “right” or “wrong” answers, and more about weighing values and costs.

As the dinner neared its end, I talked a little bit about the bridge metaphor we talk about in class so often. I explained that for many of the social issues we discussed, people often see themselves at one end of the bridge and they have to take steps or actions to get to the other side of where they want to end up with the issue. In discussing this, Connie told Beth and me that she commended us for protesting the day before because it was taking an active step to the other side of the bridge. After learning that she was more hesitant to the idea of gun-control, this meant a lot to me. I appreciated that she could separate herself from her personal beliefs to respect my own.

After the dinner was over, I reflected on what I had observed. Although there were several different viewpoints present at the table, we were able to reach some agreement and compromise through peaceful discussion. I learned that it is okay not to have a “right” answer to every solution because often times, there isn’t one. However, simply talking to others and sharing opinions can help immensely. I feel that this dinner should be a metaphor for how we discuss and deal with problems in day-to-day life. Although no one is expected to prepare a homemade meal and talk around a table every time a problem arises, it is good to know that openly talking about an issue can help people think about things in new ways that they never have before. In addition, if one continuously surrounds themselves with people who are likeminded, he or she will never be able to have informative conversations like these to see how and why people think a certain way, and how a consensus can be reached. As I leave this meal and discussion behind me and continue on with my life, I will be reminded of the benefits of talking, discussing, and deliberating.