Kentucky Kitchen Table: Do What You Can

November 16, 2017November 22, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Kristen

Soon after learning about the Kentucky Kitchen Table, I started to stress out. I live two and a half hours away from Bowling Green, so finding a time that would work both for myself and my guests was going to be a challenge. My initial KKT was set for the middle of October, and I had invited my immediate family, multiple aunts, my old band director, and my brother’s girlfriend. The timing was going to be perfect, everyone could make it and it seemed like I could get through this assignment with little to no setbacks. That was until I realized that the date of my sorority initiation was set in complete conflict with my original plan. So… I had to improvise. As it turned out, there wasn’t another weekend that I was free to go home for a while, and many of my original guests were unable to make it. A few weeks passed, and it was time for me to host the dinner.

I sat down at the table with my mom, dad, aunt, older brother, and my brother’s girlfriend. While I did know the majority of people at my KKT, the diversity amongst us is evident. What we lacked for in racial diversity, we made up for in age, economic, and political aspects. My parents are high school sweethearts, so they come from a similar background. Both of my parents were brought up in small, coal-mining towns in southeastern Kentucky. My father, Bill, has worked at Ford Motor Company for over twenty years on line, and was recently promoted to skilled trades. His dad served in the Korean War and worked as both a coal miner and on a rescue squad. He has pretty strong conservative leanings. My mom, Patti, is the daughter of a coal mining veteran as well. She’s worked for Toyota Motor Manufacturing for upwards of twenty years. For the majority of the time, she was on the line. A few years ago, she was promoted to Diversity Coordinator of her department. Essentially, she plans events and helps promote an environment of equality at Toyota. She, on the other hand, identifies as more of an independent politically. While both of my parents began college, neither obtained their degree. My aunt, Susie, is my mother’s sister. She has worked in the public school system in Richmond, KY for thirty years as a speech therapist. She is strongly democratic, and often argues with my father about policies and politics. My brother and I are both first generation college students, and we grew up in central Kentucky. My brother, Trey, is two years older than me. He’s attending a community college back home and looking to pursue some type of business degree. My brother’s girlfriend, Rileigh, is someone I don’t know very well. She’s 18 years old and is hoping to become a veterinarian.

It’s important to note that my family, throughout the course of our busy and chaotic lives, have become accustomed to not eating around the dinner table. For the most part, we opt to eat in front of the TV or in the kitchen. While we normally eat together, the dining room is for special occasions. So, sitting down in our slightly neglected dining room table definitely made the dinner feel more familial. There was my dad, telling jokes to my brother’s girlfriend, who is not quite comfortable with our over-the-top brand of southern hospitality just yet. My mother, who is very much a go with the flow type of person, sitting back and listening as we were about to begin. My aunt, trying to turn on the UK game to check the score. My brother, who is somehow simultaneously a carbon copy and the complete opposite of my father. They’re both very strong willed, but they possess very different political leanings. My brother’s girlfriend, sneaking off to play with our three dogs before we began. Then there was me, who was nervous enough after my first attempt had failed. I’ve experienced political conversations with my family on numerous enough occasions to know that I might’ve opened a can of worms my moderator training isn’t equipped to handle just yet.

I hosted my KKT in my hometown of Georgetown, Kentucky. Scott County is the fastest growing district in Kentucky, all because of the Toyota plant that attracts people from all over the state looking for work. That being said, it still has a small-town feel. There’s only one high school in the county, home to over 2,500 students. In contrast to the highly industrial Toyota plant, there are horse farms pretty much everywhere you look. I went to school with many of the same people from kindergarten all the way through high school.

I began by explaining what my project was actually about, then we started into discussion as we dug into the food. We started with an easy one, “Do you know your neighbors?” To my surprise, the answer wasn’t a unanimous yes. It turned out that Rileigh spends most of her weekends in Morehead, KY visiting family, which left less time to connect with her neighbors here. My aunt lives in an apartment in Richmond with her long term partner, Tommy. She said that she felt like she could probably connect better with her neighbors, but she doesn’t really feel the necessity. Something I thought was interesting is that she said she felt more connected with her neighbors when something was going wrong, like when their power went out, than on a daily basis. Both my parents and brother felt very connected to our neighbors, especially because we’ve lived in the same house with the same neighbors for 15+ years.

We discussed the very important “What does citizenship mean to you?” question for a fairly long time. When asked, my dad immediately responded with freedom. He said that, as a son of a veteran, he felt that those sacrifices give us the ability to have our freedom, and ultimately be citizens. He launched into a bit of a rant about the NFL kneeling protests, but that’s besides the point. My dad and brother both agreed that being a citizen was the very core of being an American. When they were talking, the two words (citizen and American) almost sounded synonymous. Their freedoms and rights were what citizenship is about. It was generally agreed upon that being a citizen was about respect, about standing for the national anthem and going beyond just paying taxes and voting. Rileigh brought up an interesting idea, that citizenship is about being there for the people that need you and filing in the gaps. That simple comment launched my dad into a story about when he was younger, and his father was working long hours to put food on the table. His neighbor would let my father come over and pick peaches straight off his tree, and that was often his dinner. “It’s about those little things,” my dad said, “because you never know how much they’ll add up over time.”

That response in particular made me think about the central questions of the class, and it really relates back to multiple of our central questions. How do we solve problems? Well, it seemed to my KKT members that even the smallest of steps could lead to something great, and have a lasting impact over time. In relation to the readings, the approach is comparable to the “The Energy Diet” by Andrew Postman reading, about putting small measures in place. It’s certainly an easy, non-intimidating approach. How do we live better together? One way that was suggested by my dinner partners was to have faith in your neighbors, like the sweet man that provided my father with food. We’re more likely to understand those around us, as well as come together to tackle bigger issues, if we can trust our neighbors.

The next question I asked was “What kind of community do you want to live in?” Overwhelmingly, there was a generational gap in answers. The older of the group decided they wanted to go back in time, back to how things were when they were younger. “I want to live somewhere like home 30 years ago, where we slept with our doors unlocked and could walk down the street in the dead of night without concern,” said Susie. “Back in the stone age, before every house had A/C, we’d leave the doors open at night. Now, that just sounds ridiculous.” Whereas the gen-xers would prefer to go back to the past, the younger generation felt like society needs to take steps forward. Beyond physical safety, my brother argued that emotional safety was just as important. “We need a community of understanding, and compassion. There’s no way we’ll address any of our problems if we don’t listen to each other,” said Trey.

It was getting late, and we had long since finished our dessert (chess bars, my specialty). As I said goodbye to some of my guests and helped clear the table, the conversations of the night were still flowing through my mind. The main take away from my KKT was the great effect that just sitting down and having a real conversation can have. In the modern society we live in, it can be easy to get caught up in the chaos and general stress that is everyday life. With new technology, especially smart phones, making deeper connections with people can be difficult. It’s very easy to use technology as a scapegoat (something that my mom often points out to my brother and I) and not be present in the moment. The KKT gave me the opportunity to really learn more about those around me, even those that I thought I already knew very well. Overall, I learned that a lot of problems could be addressed in a more efficient way if we just take the time out of our day to really listen to each other: not just hear what others are saying, but really listen and understand. KKT 1 KKT 2

Not pictured: Susie

Living Better Together

November 16, 2017November 27, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

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By Chad

My brother Chase and I had made a split decision to come home to Louisville that weekend just to have an opportunity to see our family and of course our loving dog, Buddy. I face-timed my mom and told her about our plans to come home, when I suddenly had the idea to have the Kentucky Kitchen Table dinner over the weekend. She seemed very excited and said she would invite her friends from college. On the drive home, I took in the newly forming spectacular fall colors that illuminated the trees, and formulated some questions that I could possibly inquire about at dinner. I had never done or even heard about an event similar to this so I really wasn’t sure what to expect.

As I walked into my house, I felt a sense of warmth and belonging that always comforts me. The heavenly scent of the bison roast emanating from the crock pot by the stove was making my mouth water and I was immediately thrilled to have the opportunity to converse about topics that I rarely discuss or even think about over my favorite meal. The mashed potatoes had already been prepared and were cooling in the refrigerator. The green beans were melding flavor with the bacon strips that lied below them in the slow-cooker. My mom gathered the entire family in the kitchen and asked us to help her prepare the salad for the dinner. By watching her make her famous lemon salad, and practicing countless times I felt I was ready to take on this responsibility. My dad can rarely come home before dinner time because of his strict work requirements so having him in the kitchen and sharing laughs that night really emphasized the importance of family time to me.

Our guests arrived just in time to watch the sunset from our screened-in porch. The deep pink and orange lit up the sky as we all snacked on cheese and crackers talking about the latest sports news with the University of Louisville and the race that Paul, had run that morning. We moved in from the cooler night air into the kitchen where the warming scent of pumpkin and vanilla candles greeted us. We spread out the food and we all took our places around the round kitchen table. As soon as we sat down, my mom exclaimed that “This is a dinner like my mom used to have every Sunday evening.” This is a statement I would revisit in a later conversation that evening. Once everyone was settled, I inquired about the meaning of citizenship beyond paying taxes, voting, and following laws. The first to speak was my mom’s best friend and former college roommate, Karen, who sat to the left of me. She explained that contributing to one’s community, to one’s family, and one’s country was the meaning of citizenship to her. She elaborated that while society offers us so much and it is a responsibility to nurture it through social, political, educational, and economical participation. Also Karen told us how going to ball games establishes an important connection between the university and the city. After Karen answered, my dad, Nick, interjected with his thought that being a citizen means discussing ideas about politics and other important issues with friends and family. I thought his response was particularly interesting because of its simplicity. Paul mulled over the question for a while and finally said that having open businesses that provide jobs for families was what being a citizen signified. I thought that everyone’s first response very nicely addressed one of our central questions for our course which is, “How do we live well together?” All of the answers that I received were related to the interactions between the general public and the greater community as a whole whether it be universities, foundations, or directly with the government.

I then asked my guests, “What is your ideal community?” Paul, who was sitting next to Nick, said he wishes more than anything that people could trust each other but more importantly, trust our government. This trust issue was a heavy point of emphasis for Paul and the rest of the guests throughout the night. Paul then referenced his and his wife, Karen’s trip to Denmark where they frequently saw people leave their purses and wallets in plain sight at their tables in public places when they went to use the bathroom. They said that these people had no fear of anyone stealing their valuables because there was an inherent trust in each other. For me this was quite a shocking story because I can’t imagine just leaving my phone or wallet at my table while I was occupied somewhere else. Unfortunately, this fear of theft begins with people in this country not being able to trust one another and this issue manifests itself in other ways. Everyone at the table agreed that people in the United States aren’t able to place trust in their government because politicians are too concerned with personal gain and winning for their particular parties. This issue was also a recurring theme throughout our conversation. This lead into my next question which was, “What are the worst things in our current government?” Nick said that commoners and people in office should share the same benefits of laws that are passed instead of politicians receiving monetary and power gains through their own work. Karen added that our government is too partisan and politicians only desire to win for their parties and not to better their communities.

When we were discussing the best things about our country, Karen mentioned something that I believe is crucial to growth for our community. She said that even through all the fighting between parties and all the polarizing figures in politics, our country is still a family. She referenced Hurricane Harvey and said that people banded together to save their fellow humans. Her statements made me think of a reading we have done, “Occupy Sandy: A Movement Moves to Relief.” This reading talks of how the government largely failed to provide assistance to the victims of Hurricane Sandy, however; people who witnessed the tragedy worked tirelessly to get the victims food, water, and shelter. Karen’s words reinforced that we are no matter our identity, or our position in life, we are all human beings. And when we discussed if everyone knew their neighbors, Nick and Jan said that they are great friends with their neighbors because they are retired and they desire to help take care of my parents. Everyone then agreed that more gatherings just like the one we were currently having was a good way of improving the sense of community amongst people.

The theme of trust in government was revisited in our conversation about advice for politicians. Nick, without hesitation said that they need to “Tell the truth.” My mom, Jan, rather energetically exclaimed that they must stand up for what is right, and not lose sight of the goal which is the betterment of the community.

Another lesson from a reading sparked in my brain when my guests talked about if Americans had an obligation to people in other countries. Nick said that we first need to make ourselves the best we can be, then and only then can we extend a helping hand to people in dire situations in other countries. However, he made it a point to say that we don’t owe subsidies or any other forms of monetary aid to them. I think Ivan Ilich was smiling somewhere because in his speech we read by him, “To Hell with Good Intentions” he lays out the reasons that American volunteering in developing countries is simply out of self-gain and not for the improvement of the less-fortunate. Jan chimed in that we do need to stand up for basic human rights for everyone, which means stopping chemical warfare and the use of mustard gas from radical governments against their own people. This ties into the point Karen made that we are still human beings.

When the guests were asked what issue was closest to their hearts, they had varying answers. Paul said that society should stop glorifying sports stars. He was frustrated with the fact that professional sports stars earned salaries higher than our doctors and educators. He referenced the fact that in South Korea, “the scientists are the rockstars.” Other cultures make education/family a priority. Karen was more concerned of the dangers of social media and how that people treat each other nowadays. She mentioned that kids don’t respect their parents, and this translates into them not respecting their teachers and elders, and therefore not respecting the president. The degradation of the family unit once again was highlighted as Jan said that parents need to raise their child in such a way that enforces the importance of going to school and receiving a quality education. Also, she said that we can’t blame others for our children’s failures. At the end of this debate, everyone came to the conclusion that trust in society is crucial and the family unit needs to be emphasized and revitalized.

By the end of the night, all my guests had shared thoughts which they probably don’t have the opportunity to express very often. I could tell there was an enhanced feeling of community among our group because we all revealed our true feelings about serious topics. It was clear to me that unfortunately people in this country don’t have a large amount of respect or trust in each other or our government. Also, the quality time spent with family has decreased and the family unit as a whole has diminished into a shell of what it used to be. I believe that having meals with one’s family is one of the most important steps one can take in improving these issues. Simply by eating with family, you can discuss topics and have a better understanding of another’s perspectives while having a better respect for your family members. In my opinion, stressing the importance of family and education to young children is the best way to combat the aforementioned problems. I thoroughly enjoyed the Kentucky Kitchen Table experience and I firmly believe that more events like this need to occur.

Kentucky Kitchen Table

November 16, 2017December 5, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Harlee Pennington

My Kentucky Kitchen Table project took place in my hometown- Paintsville, Kentucky. Even though it is a long drive back home (5 hours at the least), I knew I wanted to involve my family in this project from the very beginning. I don’t go home much, so I knew finding a time that would work for both myself and the people I wanted to include would be difficult. I went home a total of two times before I actually got the dinner to happen. I was sort of worried and stressed out at the time of the dinner, but as soon as we settled down into conversation I knew I had made the right choice of choosing to do this with my family.

There were five people in attendance, myself included. My mom, Julie, is a very conservative veterinarian who is not afraid to voice her opinion in any way, so you can imagine how interesting she made the conversation. One of my mother’s friends, Ruth and her husband, Jim, also attended. We went to church with them for years, but when we moved to Paintsville that all changed. They have quite similar, yet very different views on most things, so I thought they would make an interesting addition to our dinner. Ruth is a friendly phlebotomist who has an insane amount of compassion for others. Jim is a retired school bus driver turned farmer, who values church above most things. The last person that joined us, besides myself, was one of my childhood friends, Brittany. Brittany is a social worker that loves children in a way only someone with a special heart can; she is very quiet and open-minded, which is quite different from the other personalities we had at our table.

In true Pennington fashion, my mother refused to let anyone bring anything for dinner. She said that if we were the ones hosting that we should be the ones to provide the food; I didn’t argue. We had chicken, with a choice of fries or onion rings. By the end of the dinner, there was not a piece of food left, so I would say we had a pretty good time. Before diving straight into the questions, I wanted to just talk with them. I didn’t want our dinner to feel like a project, so I just started off the conversation with some light-hearted questions. We mainly talked about college, which is when I started asking the questions that will form this blogpost.

Like I expected, we all shared similar beliefs in what citizenship meant to us besides voting and paying taxes. Most of the responses I heard were along the lines of enjoying the freedom we have the privilege of having and honoring our country in ways like volunteer services and taking care of the land that we live in. Some of the questions I asked had little diversity, but the most interesting conversation we had was regarding the question of whether we have an obligation to help people in our country and our community. For a little while everyone was quiet. Julie, the outspoken person she is, decided to speak up. Since she is my mom and I know her pretty well, I had a good idea of what she was going to say, which I also knew would stir up some conversation with Ruth. Julie said that it was not an obligation, but more of a choice. She doesn’t think that people are entitled to help others, but that it is a choice we have to make. Ruth was quick to respond after this. Ruth, dislike my mother, was very adamant that we do have an obligation to help others- it says so in the bible, was her argument. Although there was a disagreement, they were able to see each other’s points and respectfully disagree after I explained to them that bickering was never going to come up with a solution- something I had come to learn very well throughout my Citizen and Self class. They appreciated me stepping in and telling them that it was okay to have different opinions while still respecting someone else’s views. After this conversation, when there was disagreement, it was resolved pretty fast.

Although there were many disagreements about things like what advice should be given to people running for office and what social issues were important, there were some really common themes I noticed that we all continued to point out. Everyone at the table really thought that fellowshipping with others was a good way to kick start problem solving. We all agreed that there was no way that anything, even small problems with easy solutions, could be solved if we didn’t know how to talk and interact kindly with one another. This conversation kick started our conversation about the type of people we wanted to be. My response was open. My mom laughed at this (I wasn’t surprised), but I quickly reminded her that we had just talked about fellowship; she apologized. My mom said she wanted to be authentic. Everyone agreed. We discussed how being true to yourself and your beliefs was an important thing to learn before trying to respect other people’s ideas. I brought up the idea that people tend to be defensive instead of receptive when they aren’t secure in themselves and their beliefs. Another interesting point that was brought up was the dinners around a table concept. Since I was little, I have had very few dinners around a table. My mom agreed; Ruth, Jim, and Brittany were shocked. They explained how much they valued the time they got to spend with their families around the dinner table. Since I rarely had the experience, it was fun listening to their stories about how they believed it had brought their family closer together. It almost made me wish that my mom and I had more chances to sit down and eat together, but I also knew there were specific reasons why that couldn’t happen. Overall, I was really happy with not only the diversity in our answers, but also the things we could come together and agree on. Part of me was scared that our opinions would be so different that it would be hard to find common ground, but after explaining the things and giving tips on how to talk with someone who has different opinions than yourself, we were able to come together and talk about common themes and ideas.

Surprisingly I learned a lot from our conversations. Honestly, coming into this dinner I thought it was just going to be mass chaos of voices with no real substance, but I was pleasantly surprised at how wrong they proved me. Not only did I learn new things about people that I have loved my whole life, I learned new things about myself and new ways to view the world. I told them about my favorite reading from the class, “The Snare of Preparation,” by Jane Adaams and asked them what they thought of it before telling them that it was my favorite. They had mixed ideas, but overall, they agreed with the idea that we can become too prepared to know what to actually do when a situation arises. My mom used the example of war to explain her point that we can think we know what to do when a situation arises, but you never really know until you are put into that position, and even then, it is often too late to be wrong. I learned that you can wrong about people, and that you should never judge someone without getting to know them and their intentions first. I loved sitting around with these people and learning more about them in a deliberative way.

In conclusion, I really enjoyed this project. Spending time with people I love is already fun, but when you add debate AND food to the mix, there’s really no room for disappointment. If the situation ever arises for me to have a deliberative engagement over dinner with my family, or with people I don’t know, I would definitely do this again. It’s a really interesting way to get to know people, and a good way to further develop your knowledge on issues you may not be familiar with. Not only was it an awesome opportunity to spend time with my family, but it also gave me a chance to work on my deliberation skills. After this dinner, I feel way more comfortable sharing my ideas with people who may not agree. I also learned a great deal about how to help people see other people’s points of view, and also how to help other people respect others to keep peace in a tense situation. In all honestly, I really did not think this project would turn out as well as it did, so I am extremely glad that I learned something and that I could pass along the helpful knowledge I have learned in class to people I love.

Kentucky Kitchen Table: Clarksville, TN

November 16, 2017November 27, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Thomas

(People Starting from left: Rob, Me, Brad, Cheyenne, Daniel, Rachel. Jennifer took the Photo.)

My Dinner took place in Clarksville, Tennessee. Clarksville is a place that borders Kentucky and is very close to Fort Campbell. Fort Campbell has a strong influence on Clarksville in terms of military service. The city itself consists of many soldiers. I thought of this when I was going to my host family. I wondered if a military presence in a city had an effect on what citizenship means to the citizens living there. Along with the military presence, Clarksville is a prevalent city in Tennessee, not as big as Memphis or Nashville though. Clarksville is basically one giant suburb with Austin Pay State University as the main attraction.

The folks I had dinner were Cheyenne, Jennifer, Rob, Rachel, Daniel, and Brad. Cheyenne is 20 years old and is a current college student at Nashville State Community College; she looks to be a little shy. Jennifer is a 40 year old who went back to school for social work, she currently works at a mental health clinic. Rob is a 52 year old painter who is also in college for art. All of the people I talked to are currently in college. Rachel and Daniel are married and are both in the Air Force visiting Jennifer and Rob. Brad is Cheyenne’s boyfriend who works at an Auto Zone. I talked to them about school and they said they were a bit stressed since the semester started to pick up, but they are muddling through it. Rachel and Daniel talked about Air Force promotion board and getting ready for that. Brad told me he is enjoying his life. They told me they all get home at weird times throughout the day because of their jobs.

I began the actual Kentucky Kitchen Table with the required question, “What does a being a citizen mean to you aside from following laws, voting, and paying taxes.” This was an interesting question to start off with since the other three were not expecting to go this deep into conversation. Rob remarked when I asked this “Well this is going to be a long dinner.” I got some weird looks from the table. When I asked about the awkward silence Jennifer answered “We don’t like to talk about this kind of thing since we all have much different meanings of citizenship.” I asked the group to further elaborate and Cheyenne started off by talking about social change and how true citizens should always look out for one another from the government we live in. She continued with how a citizen is always involved within their government and always stands up for what’s right. Jennifer and Rob were a bit uneasy from this response so I asked them to share their thought on citizenry. Rob reflected how a citizen is a good worker and stays to himself most of the time unless someone needs help. “If someone has a flat tire on the road downtown, I’ll pull over to help them,” he said. “I just don’t think a citizen should be helping all the time and being involved all the time, only when it matters like if a company lays outsources a bunch of workers and stuff like that.” Jennifer seemed a bit heated but she answered in a calm fashion. “I only think a citizen should follow laws, vote for what they want, and pay taxes. People shouldn’t urge others to get involved because they don’t know about their lives and what they deal with. I think getting involved is for people who want to get into politics, I’m not a huge fan of politics.”

I noticed that Rob and Cheyenne had similar answers so I pointed that out. They found that odd between each other since they told me they were on opposite sides of the political spectrum. I followed up with a question: “Does political leaning make a different kind of citizen in your eyes?” Jennifer answered first with a solid “Yes, I do. When people take a political stance on something they probably do it to make them look more involved. I find it to be dumb since they seek out people with different opinions and bicker about why their side is right and call the others names. It seems counter-productive to me since I think people should see all sides of an argument.” Rachel and Daniel seemed to disagree with Cheyenne and Rob, leaning towards Jennifer’s side. Rachel and Daniel explained that people just have to do their jobs and don’t do stupid things like go 50 in a 20 miles per hour zone. They talked about courtesy, loyalty, and honor. It was almost similar to the values the military holds its soldiers to. Brad did not know how to answer the question since he never thought of citizenship, he said he didn’t even vote.

Cheyenne took a different stance on this question. “I agree with Jennifer to an extent.” She started talking about how political leaning does make her see people in different ways, she’s sees the bickering as debating and a healthy way of how people share ideas nowadays. When I asked Rob, he agreed with Cheyenne. Rachel, Daniel and Brad seemed to duck out of this, they seemed a bit uncomfortable about talking about political matters. I felt a need to move on.

I asked if any of them had dinner like this around the table when they were growing up. Cheyenne said a little bit but she was really busy with after school activities and homework to actually have a conversation, she mostly just took a plate to her room. Jennifer said she did have dinner together as a family when she was growing up, but they really didn’t talk much. Rob on the other hand went into full story-teller mode and told the table about he had dinner as a family every day. “Even though I had a big family, we shared our time together at the dinner table and we talked about school, sports, anything really.” Rob seemed to appreciate the nostalgia of the question. He ultimately had a good time with his family dinner experience because he had talked with his family. Rachel, Daniel, and Brad all had similar experiences like Rob’s but a little more “vulgar.” The three started cracking jokes at the table, and it lightened the mood of the table, thus the picture for this project was taken. Jennifer just had dinner and didn’t talk. Jennifer said she wished her family had talked at the dinner table. I had dinner as a family at the table and we did talk but it was mainly about how school went and future scheduling events and planning stuff for the future, I found it quite boring. I also wish that I had Rob’s dinner table experience.

The next question I asked was what the best things in the world are today. Everyone said the Internet and smartphones, this took me by surprise so I asked them all why. Cheyenne started with how it is basically a pool of information we can all take from when we need it and it keeps everyone connected through social media. Rob reflected on how the world basically revolves around the internet nowadays and that it has many methods of entertainment with Netflix and games. Jennifer agreed with both people and said that the internet has made keeping up with everything so much easier. They asked me the same question. After much thought, I agreed with them, I saw the Internet as the defining keystone of today’s society in America. Brad agreed and told me about his gaming room and his hobby of gaming. Rachel and Daniel looked at Brad and approved of his hobby. We all started talking about one video game that somehow brought the whole table in to a new world: The Legend of Zelda.

The Legend of Zelda took a huge chunk of this conversation because everyone in the table had a connection to it. Jennifer and Rob remember playing the first one on Super Nintendo and talked about the difficulty of blowing the cartridge to make the game run better. Rachel and Daniel started talking about the newest installment, The Breath of the Wild. We all analyzed almost every Legend of Zelda game that came out, each giving our own opinions about the storyline, graphics, characters; we were connoisseurs of the Legend of Zelda, talking about it like vintage wine. This topic made everyone look back to the halcyon of a video game about a short blond kid slaying dragons and collecting pieces of magical relics.

I then asked about the worst things in this world. Rob started off with all the arguing and hostility between other countries, he would not like to see another war happen. Jennifer said that she thinks that the abuse of children and women across the globe is the absolute worst thing she could fathom. Cheyenne remarked that discrimination against people of color and sexual orientation was the worst thing. The three started to get heated and were arguing about which worst thing they thought of was more relevant. It was at this point I realized I had to be a bit of a mediator between us since they argued for a good five minutes before realizing that there was food on the table. I then made a rule that if you feel the need to argue, you can put in your thoughts but I want everyone’s ideas together, not against each other. If you want to argue, eat. They all agreed to the rule. I told them I thought the worst thing in the world was the Internet. I saw it as a very humane way of humanity dehumanizing itself. I saw it as separating more people through social media even though it brings people together. I saw it as a huge oxymoron.

I saw this as a learning experience for all of us. After that question, we all just continued with small talk, kind of like how Rob had dinner when he was growing up. This conversation was enlightening to me since I got to see some new perspectives to look at the world. I noticed that just the word “politics” can get people’s shields up and ready to argue. It is kind of like saying a statement with “but” in it and people only listening to the part after the “but.” The conversation, excluding the argument, went at a good pace. I had a very homey vibe during the time I was there. I found myself disagreeing with them with political views, but I did not voice my opinion to progress the conversation. I found that a little shocking since I thought I would be with the status quo of college students by staying not leaning towards liberal or conservative, but I found out from Cheyenne that most colleges are mainly liberal minded. I wouldn’t necessarily take that to be true, but I have seen that trend in a few of my classes. I initially thought the Kentucky Kitchen Table would be a waste of my time, but I actually enjoyed my time with the host family. I unfortunately forgot to ask the question about the military and citizenship, but I had a thoughtful conversation with the group and remembered how fun The Legend of Zelda was.

A Kentucky Kitchen Table in Sparta

November 15, 2017December 6, 2017 / Elizabeth / Leave a comment

By Shelby

My Kentucky Kitchen Table took place on my family farm in Sparta, Kentucky. Sparta is a very small town in rural Gallatin County, the smallest county in Kentucky. To give you a feel for my county, there is one school in the entire county and the residents create a tightknit hometown community. Local businesses paint their windows in support of the high school football team every Friday night. Nearly all of Gallatin County can be found on the Ohio riverfront every Fourth of July for a celebration and fireworks. Farmland and fields stretch for miles on the outskirts of the small towns, my home being one such farm.
Over fall break, I went home and invited coaches and players from my high school’s girls soccer team to come to my dinner. My dad started the program several years ago, and continues to coach but has recently gained two assistant coaches. It was previously agreed that my mother and I would prepare a meal of baked chicken, green beans, macaroni and cheese, garden salad, and dinner rolls, and this was shared with my parents, Rick and Shelia, as well as, Nate, Kelsey, Hannah, and Angie. Rick is a dentist and a farmer, while my Shelia works at the front desk of his dental office. Both are college graduates who moved from Louisville, Kentucky to Sparta and have become active community members through church, are involved with the local school system, and have served on various community boards. They have spent many years coaching recreational sports for youth in our community, myself and my brothers included.
Nate and Hannah are the assistant soccer coaches. This previous season was their first season of coaching, so while I was somewhat familiar with Hannah who is a teacher at the local high school, I had not met Nate prior to their season. Nate works at one of the steel manufacturing plants in Gallatin County and has been a lifelong county resident who attended school in the Gallatin County School District many years ago. His daughter, Kelsey, is a freshman at Gallatin County High School and plays on the soccer team. Hannah is a special education teacher at Gallatin County High School and is originally from Norwood, Ohio. She attended Xavier University and moved to Gallatin County upon gaining a teaching position. Angie is from Mexico and moved to Kentucky with her family several years ago. She is a high school freshman, but she attends the ILEAD Academy which is an accelerated program that allows high school students to take college courses and earn a bachelors degree within two years after graduating high school.
As none of the unrelated individuals who came to my Kentucky Kitchen Table had previously been to my house, the Kentucky Speedway across the road from my house was an immediate topic of conversation. The placement of the racetrack in Gallatin County was a controversial topic when it was established and remains as such today. Many believed that such an attraction would bring economic growth to the county, and while it has been productive in many ways, it has also brought complications to the rural county. We discussed how the Kentucky Speedway hosts only two races a year and occasionally hosts charity events such cancer walks and car shows. While the Nascar races attract fans from all over the country, boosting businesses for a few days, Gallatin County does not have the facilities nor the infrastructure to host this influx of people. Traffic is atrocious on race days and intoxicated individuals flood the roads at the conclusion of races, causing headaches for locals and the police department.
The Speedway is an example of experts who lacked the knowledge and experience of life in Gallatin County making decisions for the community. The good intention of bringing economic growth and development to the rural county actually exacerbated problems, similar to the concepts discussed in Ivan Illich’s “To Hell with Good Intentions.” Initially, my guests thought it would be fascinating to live so close to a landmark like the Speedway, but upon learning of the problems that accompany the racetrack, they decided it might not be as exciting as they originally thought.
Our discussion transitioned to school and the role of technology, as well as, its affects on how students interact and complete school work. During the 2016-2017 school year, all students in the local high school were provided with Chromebook laptops in their One to One Program. Online classrooms have since been used to post assignments, provide additional resources, and reinforce concepts taught in the physical classrooms. This has given students access to classroom materials online and allowed the school to reduce paper expenditures. The computers also serve as a method for students to gain access to unlimited information and easy communication. While these seem like beneficial results of the One to One Program, Hannah discussed how she has noticed students lacking patience that might be traced to children being taught to want immediate gratification about their inquiries as a result of technology. The computers, in combination with personal cell phones, allow students to immediately find answers to questions and problems. While this is beneficial in many regards, as Hannah mentioned, it might reduce students’ capacities for patience.
This brought me to the “Power of Patience,” article by Jennifer Roberts we read and discussed in class about the teacher who gave her students the assignment of observing a painting for three hours. In this study, patience was used as a learning tool, and Hannah agreed that while technology has a very important role in classrooms, patience is also crucial to learning, as well as, developing social skills. She actually searched for an image of the Boy with a Squirrel painting, and I explained how it was created to represent the time it was meant to endure.
Following our conversation about school and the skills students gain or fail to gain in high school, I asked my guests what citizenship meant to them, beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws. Shelia’s idea of citizenship revolved around being an active citizen in your own community by participating in community events and programs that might include volunteering at the food pantry or organizing sports for local children. She also believes that citizens should be responsible for being aware of current events and life around them. Nate used the current situation in the NFL concerning the decision of many players to kneel during the national anthem to help explain his idea of citizenship. As a member of the Freemason Society, he felt that it was disrespectful to the American flag and to the men and women who have served in the armed forces to kneel during the anthem. This topic has become very controversial across the nation as a whole. It began as a movement to raise awareness about racial tensions, but many believe it has developed into a protest to President Trump’s comments and behavior toward athletes in the NFL. Nate felt that citizenship should encompass a certain level of respect for one’s country, its values, and those who defend those values.
Rick suggested that citizenship was based on family and helping others. He believed parents should be involved in their children’s lives, teaching them to act responsibly, and individuals should help others if they are capable of doing so. He raised the topic of the Las Vegas Shooting that had recently taken place and mentioned how some people’s first reaction was to run to safety, while others immediately looked to protect people by ushering them to safety or laying over their bodies to shield them from the raining bullets. Those who put the needs and safety of others before themselves were demonstrating true citizenship in his opinion.
This led to a discussion about moral obligation, and I asked if we were morally obligated to help others and if so, to what extent were we obligated. The general consensus was that if you are capable of helping someone in need, you should help them. However, the proximity of the issue and any possible threat to one’s own safety were critical factors to be considered. I told my guests about the video of the young Chinese girl who was run over by the van and how everyone who passed her simply left her lying in the street. Kelsey found it hard to believe that no one would help the young girl, and it was suggested that the situation would be handled differently in America and likely most other countries. It is possible that children and the obligation to help others is seen differently by varying cultures. Hannah suggested that people are much more likely to help women and children than men because of a social notion relating children and innocence. People become more conscious of their own safety when grown men are involved, thus they are less likely to help an adult male.
I questioned if there was a difference in the moral obligation of helping someone you can see versus helping, for example, those forced to work in a sweat shop in another country to support themselves and their families. My guests said they would not necessarily feel obligated to help in this situation because different cultures have different issues, values, and standards of living.
After our dinner, we all went out to our barn, and Kelsey and Angie helped me feed chickens and horses. Because I graduated before they entered high school, I did not know them very well, and they had been quieter during dinner. Feeding the animals gave me an opportunity to share some of my experiences growing up on a farm with them. This interaction seemed easier for them to relate with, and Angie told us about her experiences raising chickens when her family lived in Mexico.
My Kentucky Kitchen Table allowed me to connect with people who I did not know particularly well and gain insights about topics that I had not previously considered. I learned that citizenship can embody numerous meanings, and those meanings largely depend on individual interpretations of the word. There was a general consensus in the idea that citizenship involved helping others in the community, and this concept would allow individuals to live better together, an idea central to our class. We can be better citizens by respecting the ideas and beliefs of others, helping those in need, and being active in our community. According to our Smart Communities reading by Suzanne Morse, individuals who are engaged in community affairs are more likely to take ownership of their community. This is crucial to living well with fellow citizens and might help us cross the bridge to where society should be with communities we are proud to call home.

Not pictured in the image: Shelia

Every Community Has a “Derek”…

November 15, 2017December 6, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Kaylee

Looking back on my dinner for the Kentucky Kitchen Table, I would categorize it as a young adult view and perspective on citizenship and community. Nine people in total attended, including me, ranging from the age of 17-28. It was split pretty 50/50 on people I knew and didn’t know, which made conversation and discussion surprisingly easy.

Brayden, (17) is a student here at WKU in the Gatton Academy. He grew up in Glasgow, Kentucky and was very excited to move to Bowling Green this past August. In the discussion, he highlighted the culture difference from just 30 mins away. He was accompanied by two other Glasgow natives who got to school at WKU also. Chandlor and Jacob (18) are roommates in a freshman all boys’ dorm on campus and both work off campus.

Olivia and Hayley (18) are both seniors at Bowling Green High School, and Olivia has grown up in Bowling Green. She is involved in choral and musical activities at her school. Hayley recently moved to Bowling Green, a little less than a year ago from California. Her father was recently asked to work as the Children’s Pastor at Crossland Community Church and she has lived in different areas of California and Texas throughout her life.

Katie (21) is a senior at WKU. She is majoring in marketing and works at a local branding company in Bowling Green. She is originally from Evansville, Indiana and lives close to campus with two roommates. Cameron (21) is a local musical artist and works for Royal Music and volunteers his strengths and talents at Crossland Community Church. He did not attend college to pursue his career in music and also volunteers at one of the campus ministries, CRU, with Katie.

Melissa (28) is the volunteer director for the Center for Courageous Kids, in Scottsville, Kentucky. She grew up in Louisville and moved here to attend WKU. She is married to her husband, Nick, and they have a one-year-old child, Cullen.

This group gave a very neat perspective for me, because all were involved in a volunteer position of some sort. I invited 4 participants, who then invited the other 4 participants to join. We ate a meal together and then I started the discussion by asking the first question: “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following the law, what does citizenship mean to you?” Answers of similar degree were spouted off such as doing more, going the extra mile, and realize the rights and responsibilities you have as a citizen locally and nationally. There seemed to be a good degree of agreement among the group so I decided to switch the conversation to what kind of community was ideal to live in. Responses were brought back to the types of citizens in the community, and Cameron mentioned a community of everyone doing their part for the community, with a sense of unity within of a common ground or goal. Melissa decided to add onto that by highlighting community involvement with a mix of individualism. And Katie thought a main value of a community should be a concern for others inside and outside the community, and others piggy backed with being accepting of everyone, while others counter placed that with making sure boundaries were made from acceptance and being aware of your morals and not letting those fall.

Other answers were similar and we concluded that in an essence we were describing a form of socialism, which is, on paper, the perfect community, but it is not an achievable goal in real life due to human error. Other qualities such as selflessness were brought up, and how the more you give the more you will receive. A concern on this topic was how in today’s society communities and neighborhoods were not as connected as they once were.

I then asked if people truly knew their neighbors. Most were sad to agree that they didn’t, even those who lived in a dorm on campus, and those with roommates said there were many times they didn’t converse regularly with their roommates. We then discussed spiritual aspects of how the two greatest commandments calls us to love The Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself and how we must keep those in mind when interacting within our communities. Hayley made a point to also say we are called to love our neighbors and our enemies, which Chandlor piggybacked by highlighting those enemies might be your neighbors. This did lead to somewhat of a gossip conversation about neighbors (good and bad), which, at first, I was nervous about, but surprisingly led to the highlight of the conversation of the night, which surrounded this blog post.

In the gossip of neighbors, a specific Derek* a neighbor in the community was brought up, and stories were shared of how he was rude and hard to get along with. After the gossip and jokes of Derek, Chandlor brought up a good point about how communities work. He asked how many “Dereks” you would want in your community, and immediately everyone shared they wouldn’t want “a Derek,” they wouldn’t want that person of conflict. We quickly realized that everything we said about hoping for the perfect community and acceptance of all went to waste. Chandlor then shared some studies he had read of how every community “needs a Derek” and how gossip and controversy almost brings people together and builds people up. There were some agreeable statements, but Cameron was not ok with that fact being accepted. He said instead of accepting that as fact, we should strive to make it the best and “perfect” it could become, but in fact it is unavoidable. The conversation then shifted to a more grey area instead of black and white, as we concluded that there is not necessarily always the “good guy” and “bad guy” in a group of people. In movies and TV shows we see the “villain” and most all other characters’ root against them, but in real life, not one person gets ostracized as the “villain”, but in an essence, we are all “a Derek.” We all fail, we all exclude, we all fall short of sin and acceptance. At one point, whether we want to or not, the evil will come out, and we must be the ones in the community to love the “Derek” through it and accept that person’s flaws. We pointed out how we become “Dereks” or make people “Dereks” in our everyday conversations, and the only thing we can do is be better from our past “Derek” mistakes. The final question I asked was: “What kind of person do you want to be?” After some thought, characteristics were thrown out of being yourself, and making a difference, we concluded that while we might not have life figured out, we can still make an impact, which will be different for all of our lives, and we can strive towards better and away from being the “Derek”.

*Name changed

Indiana Kitchen Table: How to Live Well Together

November 14, 2017December 6, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Gabe

My Kentucky Kitchen Table was different than most of those that were done for this project due to one simple fact: it was not done in the state of Kentucky, but rather, in my hometown of Santa Claus, Indiana. So, for the rest of this post, I will refer to the meal as the Indiana Kitchen Table. In a quick preview, the meal went very well and smoothly, and the conversations flowed well with some great content in the discussions, with credit given to the fact that while I may not have known everyone there, everyone else knew each other, which heavily contributed to the conversation not running dry. Beforehand, I was a little nervous that it wouldn’t go well at all, but in retrospect, it was a great experience to pick the brains of others when it comes to citizenship and democracy as a whole and caused me to do some reflection and deeper thinking of society.

The dinner took place at the home at the home of my girlfriend, Kate, who had family friends over who I had not gotten to meet yet. Her family insisted on making the meal rather than everyone bringing a dish (delicious Stromboli and salad), yet the family friends, who love to bake, still brought a cake for dessert. There was a total of nine people at the dinner: Kate, Ray, Denise, Spencer, Kelsey, Kylee, Ray, and Colleen. Kate is a senior at the high school I am from, and plans on attending Western next year. Ray, her father, is an eighth-grade history teacher, and Denise, Kate’s mother, works at a local hospital. Spencer is a graduate student at the University of Kentucky who is in dental school and plans on being a dentist, and his wife, Kelsey, who is one of Kate’s sisters, is also a student at the University of Kentucky and is in PA school. Both are going to graduate soon. Kylee, the other sister, graduated from WKU last year, and now is living in New York City and works at a marketing firm. There was another Ray at the dinner who works in finance, and his wife, Colleen, owns her own travel agency; Colleen and her husband have been all over the world. Ray and Colleen are close friends of Ray and Denise, and I had not gotten the pleasure of meeting them yet, nor have I had much deep conversation with her sisters and brother-in-law as they are well into their dependent lives. The dinner was a great opportunity to meet Ray and Colleen and also to get to know Kate’s family members better.

The group lacked in diversity as far as race goes, as all members are white. However, they had diversity in some other areas, such as of age, experience, field, and economic status. Ray and Denise are of middle class, while Ray and Colleen are more towards upper middle class. Kylee, Kelsey, and Spencer are all fresh into their independent lives, and Kelsey and Spencer will contract large amounts of debt due to their graduate school expenses. Ray and Denise are in their upper 40’s, along with Ray and Colleen; Spencer and Kelsey are in their upper 20’s, while Kylee is in her lower 20’s; meanwhile, Kate and I are 18 and 19, respectively.

Once dinner was served and after we all prayed as a group, we started to eat and general small talk ensued. Simple questions such as “What class is this project for? What are you going to gather from this project?” immediately were asked. After answering these, I responded with a question of my own, and decided it would be best if we addressed the main subject and effectively broke the ice before relying on some of the other questions offered on our handout packets. I delved straight into the topic at hand: beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to all of you? Right away, Kate’s father, Ray, straightened up to answer. Ray strongly believes in being an active citizen, and participating in our democracy is a very important part of that belief. He spoke of several actions one is obligated to do as a citizen in his view, such as advocating for stances on issues, calling your state representative, and being educated and well read on the current state of problems and issues, among other things. Collen added on to this by mentioning that we can exercise our right to protest. These obvious suggestions did not strike me as peculiar or extensively thought provoking; while they are correct ways to be active in a democracy and a citizen, I yearned for deeper and more intricate responses. Spencer was the first person that supplied my yearning. He agreed with all of the suggestions Ray made, while also adding that one can also participate in events in their respective communities in order to make practical contributions to strengthening our society and becoming closer as a people. Once he made that comment, my brain triggered a connection already between our class and this dinner: what Spencer had said could be one of many possible answers to the central question of “how do we live well together?” I pointed this out to the group, and in reflection, this was one of my favorite points made the entire evening as it incited me to think further on this question, which I will get to further on in this writing.

After these points were made, Kelsey addressed a different side of this question: rather than ways to participate, she answered what citizenship meant to her. From her view, being a citizen is more than how one can participate in democracy. She views it as how we act in how communities, how we treat and respect one another, and what we do to be there for each other in times of struggle and prosperity. Being a good citizen is more than completing objectives as if they are on a checklist, but rather doing the intangible things, such as being kind, loving and respecting all people, regardless of views, race, sexual orientation, gender, and religion. Once again, this made me think of our central question of how do we live well together. Kylee, Kate, and Colleen agreed with this viewpoint heavily, and easily concurred with Kelsey’s opinion. The men of the group agreed, but dissented that while being kind and respectful is important, it does not practically solve the problems that our nation faces.

As I said earlier, the entire conversation provoked me to do some much deeper thought on the matter. Hearing the perspectives of other people, even those who are not familiar to me, provided insight that I had not thought of in a realistic sense. I come from a close-knit hometown where people participate and are involved, and everyone is kind and respectful of another; while I may have been living in that type of environment, I had never had the thought of what may result from applying it to communities and people all across the country cross my mind. The way that I see the current state of our nation, people get so heavily wrapped up into political parties and nationwide issues, and rather than doing practical applications to make these wicked problems better, we as a society instead get absorbed into debate. While nationwide issues are of great importance and political parties are an efficient way to channel our stances and approaches of handling issues, they are even furthermore complicated and can take extremely long amounts of time to see change and progression.

Much like Spencer pointed out, I believe that we as people rather can focus on our individual towns, counties, and cities, and involve ourselves to make more productive improvements. We can get involved in service opportunities to one another, engage in deliberative discourse, or help to organize, promote, and effectively run neighborhood events that can bind the people living in them together. Rather than waiting for a never-ending concept of “others to take action” or an overarching body to pursue these endeavors, the people who make up our individual localities can take up the mantle of progressing society in the ways such as Spencer mentioned. Once we have stronger individual communities, others can follow suit, and this could attribute to amending nationwide issues in the long run. If we can live better together through engaging in our hometowns, we can lean on one another and can collectively cooperate on the other central questions, such as how we should solve problems, and how we can have more say over ourselves.

Moreover, we can enhance our personal communities not only through how we involve ourselves in our communities, but also how we treat and respect one another in them. Much like what Kelsey said, if we give each other respect, kindness, honesty, and fairness, this can enhance how we live well together, and can make our communities closer knit and supportive, much like the one I was raised in. Through this type of relationship, solving problems, coordinating events to help solve issues, and other activities can be easier achieved, and the other two central questions can be easily addressed.

After my thoughts had been stimulated, the deep and introspective dinner conversation soon faded and formed charismatic and rich togetherness, as those who knew each other caught up and the family friends enjoyed their evening together. I felt as if we were starting the beginnings of answering that crucial central question right there through our fellowship together, and a project that initially seemed impractical and unappealing to me now was a pleasant and eye-opening experience, full of learning that I had not expected to encounter: from insight ranging on what being an active citizen looks like– according to Ray who is active in his democracy– such as writing representatives, advocating stances on issues, and being educated on the state of problems and the options to approach them; methods that may seem more time efficient and personal, much like Spencer mentioned, such as coordinating community events or serving in your respective communities and becoming involved; to what his wife, Kelsey, had to say—that being a citizen is more than performing actions or providing service, but can also include how we treat one another and truly live well together. Life is full of learning. We must seize every opportunity we can in order to better ourselves as a society. Whether that be at formal, academic deliberations, or at simple Kentucky—or rather, Indiana—kitchen tables.

Working Past the Small Talk

November 14, 2017December 5, 2017 / Elizabeth / Leave a comment

By Lora

I had initially scheduled my Kentucky Kitchen Table with my best friend’s family who would have loved to participate, but unfortunately they had to cancel a week before our meeting. In a panic, I searched my mind for someone else I could have dinner with, and I decided on my high school English teacher who has a wonderful family, but on the day we were supposed to have our dinner, she canceled due to a family emergency. At this point, I was concerned with what I was going to do. I had gone through my first option and a backup option, and I just had two days to find someone else. My last ditch effort was to sit with some people at my home church at a potluck that upcoming Sunday. I was feeling defeated, but I continued with the project and sat in front of the first people I could. Little did I know that these people, who I wasn’t particularly close to, would give me new insight and a look into their lives. After having a meal with them, I felt a closeness and connection that was certainly not there before. Needless to say, they completely exceeded my expectations and gave me new concepts to think about.

I sat down with Mark, Ricky, Martha, and Tiffany. Mark, a local newspaper owner in his 40s, was the first to sit with me, and he seemed excited to participate in the project. Ricky, a retired mechanic, and Martha, who is an administrator, were a little less eager to participate. I told them about my project, and because we don’t know each other particularly well, I think they were a little hesitant. However, I was impressed on how quickly they came around. Tiffany, a nurse, is in her 30s practically jumped into the conversation once she knew what we were going to be talking about. I believe that this group of people is diverse because they come from different generations, and they are all in drastically different career paths. Their diversity, however, did not hinder their intellectual conversation, in fact, it may have just helped it.

“Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following the laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” With this question, Ricky and Mark did not hesitate. Their answer was “freedom” right off the bat. Mark, who went to West Point military academy and served in the army for five years, was very passionate about his answer. He felt that the sacrifice that our soldiers make to our country was the best aspect of our country, and his citizenship was based on that freedom. Ricky who served in the army as well, felt that without this freedom, our nation would be lost. Our rights of freedom of religion and speech are unique to us as a nation, and without these freedoms, citizenship would have a very different meaning.

As we progressed through the conversation and I asked some other questions, a common theme I saw was that each person believed in helping their neighbors. This wasn’t a big surprise to me because in our small town, community was everything. In 2008, a terrible tornado ripped through our town and destroyed or damaged hundreds of homes. Our community banded together and organized groups to gather, pack, and distribute supplies to the affected people. I don’t think anyone who was helping will forget the sense of community I know I felt that week of chaos. Mark shared a story of his parents and of a time when their health was going down. He said that the community helped so much by sending food and offering kind words. Tiffany shared a similar story of her mother-in-law. I steered the conversation towards a national focus, and Ricky and Martha both felt that a good aspect of our nation is that we help each other. We talked about the efforts to help in Houston and Tiffany and Mark recalled the efforts to help in Florida and Louisiana when hurricane Katrina ripped through homes and other buildings. Martha knits prayer shawls for a ministry through our church, and she said that she finds comfort in knitting these shawls for people who needs them. I can recall the ministry sending some to Sandy Hook and many other people across the country. When I asked each person to reflect on their jobs and how that relates to their role in society, each felt that their contribution was helping others with their day to day needs. A writer helps keep citizens informed; a nurse helps people stay healthy so they can make their contribution to society; an administrator helps people stay honest; a mechanic helps people get to work to contribute to society themselves. I think this can be correlated to the central question of how can we live well together. If everyone could contribute a service, whether it be cooking a casserole or policing a town, the world would be a much better place. Every service touches someone in some way: the casserole may touch a grieving family and the police officer may find a little girl’s dog. These services, big or small, give people comfort and happiness, and I think if everyone was at least a little happy, we could start living better together.

When we started talking about obligations to others, I found that the conversation just took off. I asked the group if they felt that they had more of an obligation to their neighbors than to someone halfway across the world. In a reading that we have done, I learned that many people are more likely to be connected to something if it is in close proximity to them than farther away. I was expecting a similar answer from my group, but to my surprise they said that their obligation was the same. I was taken aback by this because it contradicted what I had previously learned, and I asked them to explain. Tiffany said that she felt the same obligation because everyone needs help and that that person on the other side of the world is somebody’s neighbor too, so we have an obligation to them as well. While on the subject of helping neighbors, we talked about some advice to give a neighbor. One common theme I saw was that they wanted their neighbors to try to help themselves before they asked for someone else’s help. I thought about this afterwards, and I thought how I would feel helping someone who really didn’t try to do anything for themselves. I think in that situation, I would feel aggravated, but then again aren’t the people who just accept their fate and don’t try to do anything about it the ones that need the most help? Someone who is driven and ambitious may just be able to make something on their own just from their sheer ambition, but someone who is hopeless needs someone to show them that same drive that can help them. Reflecting on this conversation after everything was said and done really gave me another perspective, and I think that was the main goal of this assignment.

We also talked about issues that are close to us, and Martha and Ricky, who are married, both felt very passionately about helping children who were unwanted by their families. Tiffany shared her interest in drug abuse, and I shared mine about drug companies taking advantage of senior citizens. As we each explained why these issues were important to us and posed facts and figures pertaining to these issues, I learned something. I learned a lot of things, actually. I learned a lot of things about a lot of different issues that I hadn’t thought of before just by asking to hear these people’s passions. This taught me that by simply asking we can find out information about important issues that we may have never heard before, and all it takes is one simple question! I think about friends I have who aren’t particularly passionate about any issue, but is that because they have never heard someone so passionate about something they can barely leave room for someone else to talk? What if we all had passions like the ones set before me? I think that people would find more ways to have more of a say over their lives if everyone was that passionate about issues that affect our society.

I started my meal almost hopeless because it seemed like hardly anyone was eating at the table anymore. I didn’t have very high expectations, and I was ready to get it over with. To my surprise, I emerged with a new understanding of the people that go to my church. I learned that these people who I have known for my entire life are caring and want to help other people as much as they can. I learned that they are passionate about children and drug abuse. I learned that they would help someone they did not know just as soon as they would help their next door neighbors. I learned that you don’t necessarily know someone because you see them every Sunday or you have the occasional small talk. You get to know people by asking them questions about their opinions and beliefs, and you ask them to explain so they feel understood. Through this project, I learned how to listen to my neighbors, how to discuss issues in our nation with people who may not have the same political views, and how to really get to know someone.

Kentucky Kitchen Table

November 14, 2017December 6, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Brandon

Recently I hosted my Kentucky Kitchen Table project at my home in Bowling Green, KY. My mother (Marianne), father (Billy), and we hosted one of dad’s coworkers, Eddy, and his wife, Suzanne. Suzanne and Eddy brought beans and rice to go along with my mother’s chicken enchiladas that we were having for dinner. Marianne is my mother who is a physical therapist at the Medical Center. She is the youngest of nine of a Catholic raised family. Billy is my father who works as an engineer at Lord Corporation. He paid for his education through raising tobacco, and he is a strong conservative. Eddy works with Billy and he is a strong advocate of volunteering as he goes to disaster relief zones to volunteer. Much of Eddy’s philosophies are affected by the death of his older brother in the Vietnam War, when Eddy was just a child. Suzanne is Eddy’s wife who is an elementary school teacher who has strong Baptist beliefs. Even though they are all white and in their fifties, they are still different due to their beliefs and backgrounds. Because Marianne and Suzanne have differing religious beliefs in Catholicism and Baptist, they brought different philosophical ideas on how they live their life to the dinner table. Everyone at the table is from differing communities. For example, Billy lived on a rural tobacco farm where you knew your neighbors well because that is who you depended on. On the other hand, Marianne grew up in downtown Owensboro where lived a childhood being apart of a large urban family, without any dealings with rural farm work. Coming from rural or urban communities changes what on becomes because of the different hardships and opportunities that each individual and unique community provides.

When asked the question, “Beyond voting, paying taxes, and following laws, what does citizenship mean to you?” my dinner guests all came to in agreement. That being a citizen of a community is not just an administrative thing. It is part of being a common group and being part of one unit that shows unity. A unit that cares for one another just as if what is happening to others is happening to you. Marianne actually disagreed with the question because she believed that being a citizen is taking care of each other and has nothing to do with the government taking care of you through taxes and laws. Eddy had an interesting view that the others have not experienced because of his natural disaster volunteer work. What citizenship meant to him is simply sacrifice. That is to be willing to give of yourself to help your neighbor. This neighbor could be your next door neighbor or your neighbor who lives 800 miles away. With his volunteer work he gets asked questions like: why did you go to New York to help with hurricane Sandy Relief efforts? Or why did you go to Texas? He strongly believes that citizenship is giving of yourself to make somebody else’s life a little better. To Eddy a good citizen can answer the question- since you have gotten up this morning what have you done to better somebody else’s life? This is because if you better somebody else’s life, your life will be more enriched.

The best advice that that the table unanimously agreed with is that to better this world we have to show kindness. By doing they were suggesting that the world should show kindness by thinking before speaking. This was brought up because a lot of instances in today’s world, altercations or hostility have stemmed from one’s lack of kindness. Altercations have also happened due to a member of society saying something without truly thinking of the consequences of their statement.

I wanted to know what each one of them thought was the best part of the world today. When I asked Suzanne this she thought the best part is seeing the volunteers help the people who have suffered these great tragedies such as natural disasters and shootings. The ability for one to care more about somebody else’s life then their own is a much undervalued trait in our world today. It became a dark conversation when we started to reflect on how much evil has happened this year, such as Hurricanes Harvey and Irma, the flooding in Texas, and the mass shootings that have happened at multiple churches and the Las Vegas music festival. The catastrophes that this country have faced in the past year really make it apparent for people in society to try to find a solution to end the suffering. How can we ask society how to live well together? Something required for this is to get society to care about the problem to begin with. Most people watch the news and feel awful about the tragedies that are occurring, but they still do not take action because it is not affecting them and their daily lives. On the bright side, if there even is one, is the hero stories that come out of them. That one person or group of people who were willing to risk their lives in order to protect their loved ones or even complete strangers that they had never met. Our society could use more of these people whose unselfishness goes to the point of caring for somebody else’s well being more than their own.

Marianne explained how being a physical therapist for years has given her a variety of experiences that the normal person would not have. Through her work she treats people from all ways of life and all races and ethnicities. She treats extreme poverty patients and upper class. None of this matters because she treats every patient equal. She treats them as any empathetic human being would at all times especially because they are going through a hard time, such as, physical therapy. She loves her job because she gets to help these people through physical recovery and at the same time gets a mental challenge from it because no two injuries are the same.

The table agreed that the best part about living in Kentucky is the citizens’ attitudes toward each other. The term Southern hospitality came up because most people in our community are nice enough to help a fellow neighbor or casually make conversation on the street. But Billy brought up many of occasions when he has been in other places with traveling with business and if he waved or said good morning to somebody on the street they would react and almost be offended by it. They all know and believe that our community is one that cares. Eddy had a person experience with this when his older brother died in the Vietnam War. Two days before Christmas the city of Scottsville shut down for the funeral. Every business shut down and the entire town showed up to show their condolences and to show that they cared. Our community is one that genuinely cares for one another and it is a blessing for us to live in a community that cares because we live in a world that seems to have tragic events due to people not caring everyday.

After discussing what was best about our community we transitioned to social issues that were the most important to everyone. Billy brought up the lack of ability for those who need it to get help for mental health. Before, there were an abundance of mental help institutions for those people who needed it could get help, but now they are far and few in between. Billy has traveled to many big cities and even in our community today there is large amount of mental health cases that are homeless on the streets. Billy’s daughter use to live in Portland, Oregon where there is a high homeless population. He explained how in this population there are a high percentage of mental health cases that could and probably should be in an institution getting help, but instead are out on the streets. Eddy’s problem with society now is that we have become a nation of entitlement. We have moved to a society that expects the government to take care of them instead of not taking care of themselves. If society is not will to take action for themselves then we will soon be a culture that will lack the ability to solve our own problems.

I didn’t really know a lot about Eddy and his wife Suzanne before this dinner but it really opened my eyes on how much Eddy has done for others through his disaster relief volunteering. As Eddy was talking about his volunteer work I thought back to the speech “To Hell With Good Intentions,” by Ivan Illich. I asked myself, “Was the volunteer work he was doing in these disaster areas resulting in the same emotions that were explained by Illich to have happened in Mexico?” Then I realized that there should not as much emphasis on how the people there perceived the help. But it is just important that Eddy was trying to make someone else’s life better before without selfishly thinking of his own, and society could really learn a thing from that. The ability to care about someone else’s life and really take action on it answers one of the central questions of the class: How do we live well together?

To be honest I was not looking forward to this assignment considering I am more quiet during these kinds of conversations, but once I finished, I have come to the conclusion that it was actually pretty nice. To be able to sit around the table with a couple of people that I did not know very well and to be able to get to know them a little bit better was an enjoyable experience. For us as a community to able to talk about our problems is important. As Melville outlined in “How We Talk Matters,” what we say and how we say it matters in the way that if one person shares his ideas of doing the right thing other people will be more willing to take action or deliberate on bettering idea and move forward with it. An important component to Melville’s ideal talk is not only being able to converse attentively, but also learn how to listen to each other. It was important for me to be able to sit down at the kitchen table to talk about our world’s social problems with my guests because moving forward that is how I should be able to talk openly with anybody. Rather it be in a Honors 251 classroom setting or out in the real world it is important for everyone in every community to become part of the conversation. The conversation that goes beyond the kitchen table and extends into solving our society’s major social issues.

Kentucky Kitchen Table: Related, not Synonymous

November 14, 2017December 5, 2017 / CitizenAndSelf / Leave a comment

By Caroline Caroline Camfield Kentucky Kitchen Table

San Diego, Switzerland, New Orleans, Charleston, Cincinnati, California, Louisville, Bowling Green: Out of everyone at my Kentucky Kitchen Table, at least two (if not three or four) had been to all of these places. Part of the reason, everyone (besides me that is) is at least related by marriage and can be tied into my jump rope coach, who hosted the dinner in her home; Julie, a 60-year-old mother of one, who after growing up in Louisville, KY and attending college at Western Kentucky University, spent several years travelling across the globe, utilizing her master’s degree in teaching to teach English as a Second Language in Europe. This is where her husband David is from (although they actually met at a hotel in California, and her sister Lynn was the one to meet him first.) David, a Swiss immigrant first came to the United States as an adult to travel and did not plan on actually moving here until he met Julie and they married. After Julie and he returned to her hometown of Louisville, David attended the University of Louisville’s Speed School of Engineering and currently works as an engineer. Julie’s sister Lynn, who is 5 years older than her sister, also grew up in Louisville and attended Western Kentucky University. After college, however, she worked in the field of social work until Julie convinced her to join her in some of her travels (which because her and her husband Paul don’t have any children they still spend a large amount of time travelling.) Currently, Lynn lives in Northern Kentucky and just recently retired from being a preschool teacher at a school in one of Cincinnati’s poorest neighborhoods. Paul grew up in California with “libertarian parents” who’s views did not necessarily align with his own; he worked in New Orleans as a cab driver for several years (before he moved to Northern Kentucky) and currently works as a substitute math teacher. Then finally, there is Julie’s daughter, Murray, a 20-year-old college student who followed in her Aunt and Mother’s footsteps and attended Western Kentucky University and is currently a math and English double-major.

The dietary constraints at the meal were almost as diverse as the places everyone had travelled; from vegan to paleo to vegetarian, almost everyone had their own unique considerations when it came to choosing what foods to bring. However, since the two people following the vegan and paleo diets are somewhat relaxed in maintaining these diets, especially when desserts are involved, they weren’t taken into account for a few of the food choices. To the meal, I provided the first and last courses (even though not everyone ate them in that order); I brought a salad consisting of assorted greens, fresh cut corn, strawberries, tomatoes, carrots, and peppers, and individual bread pudding cups topped with bourbon sauce for dessert. For our main dish, Julie baked a layered spinach and tomato pasta dish she makes frequently enough for her daughter that I’ve had it a few times before when I was at their house. Lynn and Paul both contributed fresh fruit, cubed pineapple and chocolate-covered strawberries, respectively. David provided asiago and cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera (since he receives a free bagel everyday this month, which is quite fitting since the majority of us at the table partake in as many opportunities to receive and utilize free-food offers as we can.) And finally, Murray contributed milk to the table and while not everyone drank it, it did lead to her telling the story of how she convinced a few young jumpers from the jump rope team in Trinidad and Tobago that since she drank milk at meals other than breakfast, she calls herself a milk girl. And this was how the majority of the dinner went; sometimes ideas and beliefs were stated explicitly but mostly they were woven into the conversations through stories.

This idea became especially clear when I asked he table what their ideal community would be, because, for the most part, they answered with locations they’ve previously lived instead of descriptions of the qualities of a community like I expected. This highlights how everyone, except for Murray and me, is very well traveled and their travels have all impacted their lives in some way. Julie was first one to answer this question and declared she wanted to live in a beach community (and later changed it to an alternative beach community/co-op once hearing everyone else’s ideas.) This was another theme throughout the meal, everyone was fairly willing to change their ideas of what they wanted after someone else had an idea they liked better. This ties back into the concept of the Elephant and the Rider, discussed in the except we read in class from Haidt’s Righteous Mind, since while everyone’s elephant initially led them in one direction, the elephant was sometimes very easily swayed to another when it thought that that could be a better option (leaving the rider to adjust the justifications accordingly.) As for everyone else, Paul wanted to move back down to New Orleans because of the unique atmosphere there and the diverse group of people he encountered while working as a taxi-driver. When first asked the question, Lynn described how she’d live in a diverse community, like Paul, enjoying the variety of perspectives that subsequently arise out of diverse backgrounds (but then after hearing the rest of the table’s responses, she changed hers to a beach community, which depending on the exact location can prove to be a diverse mixture many different demographics.)

Since the overall dynamic at the table promoted the sharing of stories, which, as it oftentimes does, got off topic, preventing everyone from explicitly sharing their ideas of what they believe it means to be a citizen, the viewpoints that were shared surprisingly varied more than their answers to every other topic that was mentioned (although unsurprisingly their responses still fed off of one another quite a bit.) Lynn was the first to answer and described her belief that being a citizen gives you the right to peacefully protest, and thus influence how society is run. Paul almost directly opposed this by describing how he believed that while being a citizen gives you the ability to protest, he enjoys how you also have the ability and freedom to stay quiet if you are so inclined due to the freedom of speech. Furthermore, he emphasized how ideally, all freedoms would be granted and respected by society (which while it would eliminate the need for some protest it would depend on having an almost perfect society.) Murray then proceeded to explain that while she believes being a citizen does give you the ability to not voice your opinion if you don’t want to, she also believes speaking up for others with less privilege (and who aren’t able to do so) is an obligation. Her ideas fed off both her aunt and uncle’s, agreeing and disagreeing with ideas from both, which goes to show that while she grew up hearing their beliefs, she has still formed her own and not just conformed to the ones surrounding her. For the most part, everyone did have their own distinct beliefs concerning each topic we discussed, yet at times everyone was more than willing to adapt their ideas to someone else’s if a new idea was presented. This openness caught me by surprise a little since the dynamic in many families merely focuses on convincing others of your beliefs instead of actually listening to what everyone thought.

At this table especially, everyone brought a set of their own fairly unique experiences, which in turn influenced their opinions. When discussing social issues that were closest to our heart, Lynn mentioned that she witnessed racism occur between people of both the same race and of different ones while teaching at her school, even though the population there consisted almost entirely of African Americans. Yet through talking with other teachers and students, she was able to adapt her perspectives to accommodate their experiences that she sympathized with, yet would never truly experience. Likewise, Paul felt that education was important to him, stemming from his current job, and David said that the decreasing middle class was an issue needing to be addressed since he is a part of that demographic. Murray followed this trend by saying, somewhat indecisively, that animal rights and sustainability were both issues she felt connected to (especially animal rights since, as she explained, it was only after learning that animals were treated so poorly before they were processed into food for consumption that she eliminated the already minimal amount of meat from her diet.) She then followed up with the statement that while these two issues matter to her, she realizes they aren’t the most pressing issues faced by society; in addition, she also believes that LGBTQ rights and feminine equality are important, even though she may not be able to influence the causes as directly as she can with the other two. Out of everyone’s responses, Murray was the only one who mentioned an example of actually making an effort to combat the social issue they felt closest to, and although this could be because some of the other issues are broader and could be more intimidating to tackle, it may also signify a generational change, or a combination of both if young adults today are standing up not for the broader issues, but for more specific ones, and by doing so they feel more able to make an impact and thus are attempting to do so.